Maria and Mick were old customers of mine from way back. I put a complete central heating system in for them back in the 90s when they married and bought their first house. When they moved I put a new boiler in their new house and now after Mick left her she wants me to look at the heating in her new place.
Despite the fact I played Rugby with Mick for over 10 years I never liked him much. He just wasn't my kind of man. He left Maria when he came out, good luck to him but I always had him marked as someone who wasn't open and above board about himself.
Maria had always told Kay she was jealous of our sex life. Now, with Mick having moved in with his boyfriend the reason for her dissatisfaction with what she was getting was fairly apparent.
I am, I must confess a perv and a perv with a roving eye. I was never unfaithful to my wife, I loved her, and I mark myself as a very lucky man. I have loved two women and they have loved me.
I did always try to get a good feel of Maria’s tits and bum at the rugby club dances her tits were legendary it was hinted on more than one occasion I could have a season ticket if I wanted.
When Mick came out Maria didn't take him to the cleaners, she probably should have done. Her solicitor made sure she got half of everything including the account Mick had hidden away with a few bob in it for his rainy day. The solicitor made it very clear to him, he could have got Maria much more.
A week after the divorce was finalised in the court Maria’s aunt died and left her everything. Including her holiday home in the middle of Wales.
Now the dust had settled, Maria discovered she had enough to take early retirement and move out of congested polluted Surrey to the cleaner slower-paced Montgomeryshire.
My wife had passed away two years before and I had done the same, I was now semi-retired and living on the other side of the Mawddah estuary to Barmouth.
Maria and my wife had been very good friends since my rugby days before I married Kay. I liked Maria a lot so when she inherited the place just outside Carno, I offered to look over the heating system for her.
I have to admit I always fancied her Latino big girl looks. Not fat but she had the kind of tits that had always played a starring role in my wanking fantasies. Plus her lovely big very kissable bum made her very much my kind of woman. I did say I am a perv.
As I pulled my old work van onto her drive Maria came out to greet me. She was dressed in an overcoat and had an old bobble hat pulled over her head. She looked very cold and miserable.
All I can do is make coffee for you and heat some soup in the microwave. I called the gas board cos I was a bit worried about the boiler and they cut my gas off and gave me this notice.
That is pretty typical of gas board service. The kids they employ these days get paid by the job. They don't want to spend any time sorting problems out so they trick you into saying you can smell fumes and cut off the gas and tell you to get a registered gas fitter in.
I did a check or two. Had a look at the boiler, a very old faithful called a Vulcan, well past its sell-by date, efficiency-wise but solid as a rock and very safe. I put the gas back on and tested it, it was sound, or tight as we say in the trade.
These old Vulcans took a few seconds to light, they had no automatic lighting, you do it with a taper. Then I checked the cooker. The grill, as is often the case with old cookers was bloody lethal but the rest of the burners were safe to use.
We were soon warm and Maria was cooking me a huge breakfast. I'm a toast monster, along with the emergency kettle that lives in my van there is an emergency toaster as well.
After breakfast, I returned to the job I was here for, first a good look at the heating system. One thing was apparent, the boiler had to go. Something a little more modern and less of a gas gobbler was required.
I figured it would need resiteing. It was sat in an outbuilding backing onto the kitchen. I was going to have to run a good length of new pipework for this Job. I needed to assess just how much.
As I was measuring up outside by the boiler lean-to, I put my foot through a rotten old bit of plywood. When I pulled it out the ply came with my foot revealing an old light well to the cellar.
Fantastic I thought. That will make running pipes a dam sight easier.
Just at that moment, Maria called me in for coffee and a slice of her homemade fruit cake. How can you not love a woman with a mountain range in her bra and who makes good fruit cake?
She had changed now the house was warmed up. She was no longer dressed like an Antarctic explorer, she had on a short skirt leggings and a tight elasticated top. Maria was built and for now, she was showing me her best assets.
“You've lost a bit of weight Maria.” Women always like that one but in this case, it was true.
“Not off the twins though,” she said grabbing her boobs. “Still the same as when I left school.”
“Thank God for that,” I said.
“You are a mucky bugger aren’t you,” she replied.
“I'd like to be!”
She just gave me a big smile.
“I hate to move the conversation away from the twins I said.” Maria had called her tits, the twins, ever since I’d known her, but where is the door to the cellar?”
“There isn't a cellar!”
“Then why is there a cellar window,” I asked.
“Are you sure”?
“Pretty sure, I very nearly fell through it”
“It's news to me,” said Maria, “Show me!”
We stood outside looking down at the light well. The window looked quite modern but all we could see were what looked like dark red crushed velvet curtains.
“I’ve never seen that before and I spent just about every one of my school holidays here. She pointed to an old rusty angle frame. That was my swing!
I knew Maria was orphaned when she was very young, her Aunt, who was called Marie along with a private boarding school brought her up.
Maria got a bit weepy at this point. Marie was my mum in all but name, my name is Marie but I called myself Maria to differentiate.
I don't remember my mum and dad at all. They died in an accident when I was just under a year old. My mum and Aunt Marie were identical twins. Maria was having a little boo hoo, I put my arms around her and gave her the biggest bestist hug I could.
Maria lifted her head. There were still tears in her eyes as she leaned in to kiss me. I returned her Kiss but did not explore further as her open mouth invited me to. She looked a little disappointed as we broke the kiss. I said, “I’d very much like to do that properly when I don't feel as though I would be taking advantage.”
