Step 6 -- The Fight
Nearly a month after wearing the cage became part of his everyday routine I explained to Jack -- it was a Tuesday, so it was to Jack and not Toy that I was talking to -- that I had to go out of town with the girls on a short trip this next weekend, so he was going to be on his own. He was excited for about three seconds before he realized that meant there would be no release for him this weekend. All the fun and games that we had both grown to enjoy (me more than him, I suspect) were not going to happen.
I had scheduled the trip because I knew that the weekend after that he had a planned trip out of town, driving to his brother's birthday (a trip that I couldn't attend because of work commitments). Suddenly he was staring at three weeks without any sexual release. I had several times made it clear to him that I would only be having sex with Toy and that Jack would stay in his cage. He had never gone more than a week without release, and I could see the thought of it frightened and maybe even angered him.
The next day we had an argument. I knew it had been building and I figured he needed a chance to blow off some steam. What I wanted, almost more than to win the argument though, was for him to go too far and give me an excuse to put him over my knee again. It had been too long since he was sobbing on my lap. I had found myself over the weeks looking for excuses to give him the spanking I so desired.
As he gathered steam on Wednesday, I was relentlessly nice. I let him spiral into every grudge he had about the whole process we were going through. I had tricked him, I didn't love him, every possible complaint came up and he yelled. A lot. He swore. A lot. Everything that had happened was my fault, was against him and not fair. To be fair he wasn't wrong about most of it. I did love him, but the rest of it was spot on.
But being right was no defense, he crossed a line and when he looked at me, he realized it. If he had kept calm, angry maybe, but still calm, I might have been in trouble. That is why I went out of my way to be so infuriatingly nice to him. I needed him to overreact, to yell and swear, because otherwise I might find myself in an argument where we were on equal footing or even worse, he might have the moral high ground.
Eventually he started winding down from his ranting and looked at me and realized I was just sitting there, crying. Yes, I had planned (seeing that he was itching for a fight) and gotten a small bit of onion juice on my handkerchief. By dabbing my eyes, I caused them to tear up. An artful sob and suddenly he was caught dumbfounded as his wife was quietly crying in front of him.
"I thought this is what we both wanted. Every step of the way you asked me, begged me. The whole time I checked in with how you were doing, making sure you knew I loved you and was proud of you. I guess it was all just a lie; I didn't think you were a liar. I thought we were both happy, but I guess not. Go ahead and wear what you want, we are done."
He stood there, staring down at me, caught completely off guard. He wanted to be angry, to have someone to fight with, and here I was crying and refusing to fight. I had only cried in front of him twice in all the years we had been together. The first time was after I miscarried, and we discovered I couldn't have children, and the second time was when my father died. Both times my crying completely unraveled him.
"Do you remember when we first started and you wanted to go out with the boys and I gave you permission, even though you were supposed to be mine that weekend? I had hoped we could come up with something this time too, but it sounds like you don't want to continue any more. I still love you, but I am very disappointed, and I don't know what to do. I think we are done."
The anger drained from his face and body. He looked empty. The anger had filled him and now it was gone, and it looked like the habits I had built into him the last few months were gone too. He looked like he had no idea what to say or do, what came next. He stood there looking at me sobbing for what seemed like forever (it was probably a minute or two at most).