Oh! I'm so angry with Barbara right now I could, I could . . . Well I'm angry with her let's just leave it at that. She's supposed to be my best friend but she won't even talk to me. She doesn't even answer my e-mails to her. She believes that I've lost my mind. She's got some kind of moralistic idea that I've turned into a sexual pervert.
She thinks that just because I have decided to bring some bondage and discipline roll play into my and Benjamin's sex life then I must be a sexual deviant. Yet, she's the one who got me started into bondage and discipline in the first place.
She confided in me about seven months ago that she and Franklyn like to play doctor and nurse or employer and maid when they have sex. She said that she even has a sexy nurse's uniform and a little maid's outfit that she dresses up in to make their love making more realistic. She said that she doesn't let Franklyn spank her or tie her up or any of that other perverted stuff. Those are the words she used; I don't believe that tying up one's lover and spanking them is perverted sex.
She said that she dresses up in her nurse's costume. Then Franklyn will examine her and tell her she needs surgery or something and that he has to perform it in their bedroom. Other times she will dress up like a maid and Franklyn will pretend to scold her for not making the bed properly. Then they will have sex while she is remaking the bed. It's all so vanilla sex between the two of them.
Vanilla sex is a new term I learned since I've gotten into bondage and discipline sex. I'm so excited about it all. I'm learning all kinds of new terms and vocabulary and about sex toys and BDSM sex that I never knew before. Don't get me wrong, I knew about sex toys and that the world of bondage and discipline sex existed. I just didn't know anything about it until I started to read about it.
After Barbara informed me about what she and Franklyn do, I got curious and began to do some reading. Wow! Was I ever surprised? I learned that all kinds of people practice B and D sex. (Another term I learned.) Doctors, lawyers, teachers, accountants, sales clerks, plumbers, laborers -- men and women of all professions and occupations indulge in bondage and discipline sex.
I even went to a few Internet web sites and learned some things. You have to be careful when doing that because there are a lot of Internet sites that are only there to offer sexually explicit photographs or X-rated movies for a fee. Not that I believe that there is anything wrong with those things; if that's your cup of tea. Benjamin and I even watch them sometimes to get new ideas on different role play scenes and other sex related stuff.
But there are quite a number of other Internet sites that give free information. There are also numerous adult chat rooms to which a person can go to in order to get information from the other chatters.
I guess I should start at the beginning.
I was married to Sal. We had a pretty good relationship. I mean, it wasn't the greatest of marriages; there were the rocky times. But neither was it all peaches and cream. In a word, it was convenient. He had a good income as an office manager for an insurance company. It was enough so that I only had to have a part time job working for a temporary service company in order for us to pay the bills.
In fact, Sal didn't even want me to do that. He's sort of a male chauvinist in that respect. According to him, my place was in the home doing domestic chores. The only reason he let me work outside our home was because we needed a little extra money to meet expenses. I had to talk him into letting me help out financially. So, I was a part-time secretary.
The sex between the two of us was rather dull, at least for me. Sal's idea of foreplay was a passionate French kiss or two while massaging and sucking my tits a little bit. Then he would rub my mound and insert his middle finger into my pussy until I was wet enough for him to fuck me. After he shot his load, he would roll over and go to sleep, leaving me to wonder where all the fireworks were.
There were a few times when he got me off; I have to admit that. I really enjoyed the sex we had during those lovemaking incidences. But those occasions were few and far between. Mostly, it was get me hot, fuck me and then go to sleep. I would then masturbate myself to an orgasm while he snored away.
I always knew when Sal wanted to have sex. He would come home from work, give me a big hug and a kiss, lightly smack me on my ass and then either take off all my clothes or order me to take off all my clothes. I would then fix supper in the nude. After supper we would watch television, with me still in the nude and him eyeing my naked body. Around nine we would go to bed. Then Sal would crawl on top of me and slam bam thank you ma'am. Not much excitement or variety.
Sal liked to go to bed early because he had to get up at five in order to get to work for seven. It's a forty minute drive to his insurance company and he always took a thirty minute shower before going to work. So in order to accommodate him, I went to bed with him, got up with him, fixed him breakfast and ate with him. But after he would leave for work I sometimes went back to sleep for another hour or so. That is, if I didn't have to go to work myself.
Sal and I were married at the end of my third year at college. I wanted to wait until we were both finished or at least until I was finished. He still had 11 courses to take before he could graduate with a degree in business management. I had only 6 courses left to take before I could graduate with a degree in interior design; I hoped to start my own interior decorating business someday.
But he was insistent and didn't want to wait another year. He said that we had been dating long enough -- we had been dating for a little over a year. He said that I could get a fulltime job and with his part time job as a bartender we would have enough money to pay the bills until he graduated. Then he would get a job as an office manager somewhere and I could return to college fulltime to finish my degree.
It didn't work out quite like that.
I dropped out of college and got a job as a secretary in a small home health care company. Then it took him another two years to get his degree. That's because he kept taking other courses that were not part of his curriculum. He claimed that he would need them later on after he graduated in order to get a jump ahead of everyone else who was graduating with a degree in business management.
Although he explained it to me, I still don't see how courses such as sports psychology, sports coaching and athletic training techniques can help someone in the world of business.
I guess I was a little naΓ―ve. I was just hoping and dreaming that he would change from someone who is only interested in sports to someone who would mature into a compassionate, supportive husband. No, I take that back, I was more than naΓ―ve; I was down right stupid.
By the time I got my chance to return to college it wasn't as a fulltime student; it was only part time. Sal said we couldn't afford for me to go back fulltime. Not that I cared. It just took me longer to get my degree. Not only that, he complained about the finances every time I registered for another course.
I think his real reason was that he just wanted me home doing housework and fixing his meals. My place is in the home he would sometimes say. He's not really a male chauvinist. He isn't against women working outside the home and he doesn't harbor any of those other male chauvinistic ideas. At least I don't think he does. He's never voiced them in my presence. He just didn't want me working outside the home. He even made me quit my job at the home health care company soon after he graduated.
Nor was he jealous or afraid that I'd meet someone else. He just wanted to provide for me. He has never admitted it but I believed it made him feel more needed in our relationship if I didn't have a job.
But after seven years of marriage, a house mortgage, two car notes and insurance, well the bills were mounting up. It took me three months to finally convince him that he wasn't bringing home enough to meet all the expenses. He reluctantly agreed for me to get a part time job.