Lucretia's Human Resources (Pilot):
"A Favor Among Colleagues"
Lucretia instantly realized that this was the opportunity she had been waiting for. The moment had finally arrived.
She stared at her colleague like she was seeing him for the very first time. He was sweating, rubbing his face and flicking aimlessly through the documents on his desk. The very definition of lost, confused and scared.
Tom, you see, was a complete idiot. If there had been any sort of justice in the world, he would have been fired ages ago.
Sure, he made less money than Lucretia, at least - but she was all too aware that the pay gap between them was painfully slim. Even though she was considerably more qualified, worked harder cases and had been at this office for much longer. At this rate, he would surpass her one day, while only getting dumber, slower and even less competent by the minute.
Or not.
With scientific curiosity, Lucretia had watched from the sidelines as the work had started piling up on his desk. And now, the ultimate deadline was almost upon him. Maybe this would finally break the back of his so-called career.
Lucretia repressed a little chuckle. Tom looked like he would start crying any minute now.
But even greater than her anger and grim satisfaction at his misfortune... Was Lucretia's sense that the big payday she had been waiting for was finally presenting itself to her.
Just as she had expected.
She was ready.
Lucretia gazed upon her own, empty desk - she had already finished her own work load ahead of schedule, plus some extra. She took a deep breath and decided to take the plunge.
Tom, you see, was good for one thing, and one thing only, as far as Lucretia could tell.
It had happened at an office party, a few months ago. Everybody got drunk, and they had even persuaded Lucretia, the notorious party pooper, to take a few sips.
She was not a big fan of alcohol, but she had played along. Discreetly emptying most of her drinks into potted plants when nobody was looking.
They had played some dumb party game. She wasn't even sure how it had happened, but suddenly, everybody dared Tom to give Lucretia a foot massage.
Lucretia had groaned and rolled her eyes and pretended like she was performing some sort of big self-sacrifice by playing along. Indulging her silly colleagues just this once, just because it was such a craaaazy evening. That everybody thought she was just as drunk as the rest of them had given her the perfect cover.
The truth was, Lucretia had been disturbingly eager to give this a try.
She frequently complained about her aching, itchy feet, and the injustice of women being forced to wear heels. It was a bit of a running gag at the office - but to Lucretia, it was no joke. In fact, she had a slight deformity in her ankles and heels that made walking genuinely unpleasant for her, especially on hot days.
So, she had let Tom massage her feet.
Discovering that he was very good at it. More than good, in fact. Oh yes.
Which brings us back to this moment.
"Rough day, huh, Tom?" Lucretia asked with a sardonic smirk.
Tom looked up like a piece of roadkill rising from the dead. Lucretia allowed herself an obscene, cat-like stretch. Then she walked over.
"Let me see," she said.
Tom, utterly confused about her sudden interest in his fate, gave her some space to sort through his papers.
"Oh, yeah... I had something like that on my desk, just the other day," Lucretia said. She displayed what she hoped to be a sufficiently mysterious smile. "Hmmm... yeah... with that one, on the other hand, you should..."
She looked Tom into the eyes and raised her eyebrows. "You know, this really shouldn't take you this long."
Tom raised his hands.
"I know, I know!" he whined. "There is so little time left, but my head feels like it's full of mush!
It's just... I can't... I can't..."
"Spare me," Lucretia said coldly.
Now it was Tom who stared at her. "I... I can't believe I'm about to say this..."
Oh, but I can, Lucretia thought. I know what type of boy you are.
He turned red as a beet. "Can you... Look, I know it's a lot to ask, but could you maybe give me a few pointers here? Help me out? I swear I'll make it up to you, somehow...! Anything you want!"
Lucretia glared at him in fake disbelief. "You want me to do your work for you? Is that it?"
"No! No... Just... Oh, I don't know," he shook his head. "Can't we work something out? Maybe I could..."
"What?" Lucretia snapped. "Take over some of MY plentiful work load, some other day? No thanks. Frankly, I trust you to get my work done about as much as I trust you to do your own. And look at you now, Tom."
She sat down on a chair next to him and took off one of her shoes, to rub her aching toes. Making sure Tom got a good look.
