The apartment was less of an "efficiency" than a "deficiency." Hamish's uncle had taken one fairly large place and turned one into a nice studio, with a kitchenette.
This was rented by Thalis, a nice if a little heavyset dark haired gal who worked at Buttermilk Nursery, provider of plants and garden supplies to the Buttermilk Falls yuppies.
Thalis was no rocket scientist, but she apparently had, along with her sister Themis, been part of a folk-singing group in her heyday.
Hamish rented the other part, the "deficiency" which had a small bathroom, a closet that leaked rainwater, and in one corner a dorm fridge, with a microwave sitting on top, and on top of that, a precariously placed hotplate.
"And to think you were the smart one.
Well, you get to live here rent free, and you can keep half of what Thalis pays in rent, if you collect it. And perhaps you can clean up your fucked-up life" Uncle Dawes had been succinct.
How had Ham's relationship started with Thalis? She saw one of his spanking magazines, the "plain brown wrapper" ripped, and even in 1979...
Ham had been slightly ashamed, and Thalis had kind of liked Ham, and got a kick out of looking strict in a tight sweater and skirt "I love t' dress up after all that soil y'know?" and taking her erstwhile neighbor over her knee after he'd taken her to dinner and maybe to an art gallery.
They weren't dating, per se, but it was kind of a thing, the pants down, spanking and then sometimes they'd fuck. Thalis liked more macho guys, perhaps, and certainly Hamish like most forty year olds, was bimbo possessed.
And, there was a cute little thing at his AA meetings, but Cezanne had kind of put Ham in the non-threatening male friend category.
Cez was a nice girl, though, very hot, and the guy she liked, who used her for occasional sex was a Air Force pilot called Smooth Teddy.
Smooth Teddy, of course, was the one who fucked all the girls Ham and his pals lusted after, and it was so frustrating. Why couldn't Cezanne and the others realize that Hamish was a nice guy?
But, Smooth Teddy had been an Air Force pilot (not currently, he was a bouncer, but hey, Hamish didn't do much of anything.) and his ice blue eyes, Cez told Hamish were just possessing.
One night, after an exuberant session of Alcoholics Anonymous, the gang went out for coffee, which annoyed waitresses since you don't tip much if you don't drink. This was of course in the days before Starbucks.
Then Hamish and Cezanne were given a ride home in Smooth Teddy's Camaro. Hamish realized bitterly that after he was dropped off, Cez would probably blow Teddy in the car, but oh, well.
Ham's error was inviting them in to the deficiency. He had one chair and a mattress on the floor, but he was feeling social, and Teddy began making rude remarks, while Cezanne tried to be polite about the ascetic surroundings.
Then, Smooth Teddy began telling dirty jokes, and Cez and Hamish laughed (although Ham didn't really find Ted humorous at all, he felt truly witty types didn't have to rely on jokes.) And they got a little loud.
A hall separated Thalis's studio and the Deficiency with a miniscule washer/dryer laundry combo, and the walls were very thin.
Thalis had to start at Buttermilk Nursery at six a.m., and she was having a hard time sleeping with all the screaming and laughter. This wasn't Ham's first "social", sometimes he'd play records and his friends would sit on the floor, and they had an informal bridge club.
Thalis had spoken nicely to Hamish about this, and she guessed he forgot. So she got up, gritting her teeth. She looked over at the wooden paddle that she'd spanked him with on Friday, after the Buccaneers game.
