Love and Sex in Syria

London Heathrow, March 2010: "Passengers on BA flight 237 to Damascus, please make your way to the departure gate A10 for boarding." Suhair took one finial glance at England and headed to the departure gate, unaware of what would greet her when she arrived in Syria.

Suhair Abdul-Hamid was 25 years old with long black hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. She was slender but not skinny, and was always fashionably dressed. Suhair was raised in a middle class Syrian diaspora family in London. She graduated from the University of Cambridge, where she read and received degrees in Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics. It was always an inspiration, as well as, a privilege studying at the same university and college as Isaac Newton and Stephen Hawking.

Suhair was one of the few females to do this subject -- and she proved more than a match for her male colleges. Studious, hard-working, neat, punctual and never handed an assignment in late or missed a day's class. She loved Sci-Fi, she was an avid viewer of Doctor Who, X-Files, Star Trek and many others. She would attend Sci-Fi conventions -- but she would surprise many, as she did not look like a typical geek. She was quite hot, beautiful, fashionable and very sociable. She had a great laugh and enjoyed telling jokes and could be very easy to talk to and down to earth.

But in addition to her geeky interests, she also enjoyed reading romance novels and watching 'chick-flicks'. She could melt while reading Pride and Prejudice or Anna Karenina. After graduating from Cambridge she went on to do a Master's at Imperial College London, carrying out research in General Relativity, especially black holes and time. Her intelligence made you respect her -- and it was here she met Andrew. Andrew was a redhead Scots man who was steadily making a name for himself in the Geography and Geology department. He was five-years older than Suhair and was in his finial year of a PhD.

Suhair had very little romance in her personal life. Not enough time for boys, and most guys were idiots. They were intimidated by Suhair with her strong and assertive personality. But not Andrew. He was different from the other guys. He was intelligent, geeky, interesting and not pushy. Suhair had never put out sexually, she wanted to keep her virginity for a special guy. She began to wonder whether Andrew was that guy. The relationship was for the most part platonic, but there was kissing and holding hands.

It was a difficult relationship for the most part. Andrew was an Atheist and Suhair was a liberal, even progressive Muslim. She identified heavily with the high and humanistic morals, ethics and code of conduct. She tried to fast during Ramadan, but did not pray very often. She also enjoyed drinking socially. She knew she wanted to marry some day, but had no problem with long-term relationships and was open to the possibility of co-habitation.

Andrew for all his brilliance, could be childish and arrogant. He would always try to tease her over religious belief, that he thought he could understand. He extensively quoted from Richard Dawkings and Sam Harris both of whom Suhair loathed. She regarded them as unscientific morons who used and abused scientific language to disguise unscientific and irrational beliefs. Apart from this Andrew had a darker side, he was a possible fetishist he seemed to love Lady Gaga, who Suhair reviled as smut. Once, when Suhair was on Andrew's laptop, she checked his internet history and found that he had visited BDSM websites. gross, Suhair thought.

After two-years the relationship fell apart. No sex made Andrew grumpy. He eventually broke it off with her and went on a research trip to a Icelandic volcano. Fine by Suhair. He was always difficult. Plus it would have caused strain with Suhair's family. They had been broadly accepting of Suhair dating, but would have had a hard time accepting a marriage to an atheist.

Living a very middle-class English life-style and speaking in an English accent gave you the impression of a very integrated girl. But Suhair had another side to her, she was Syrian and Arab. She could speak Syrian Arabic well, although her Modern Standard Arabic was dire. She decided to go back to Syria and teach, because she wanted to feel a part of something and that she was giving back. But there was a problem which made Suhair nervous about going to Syria.

Suhair's family was marked by the Mukhbarat (Secret Police) in Syria. Suhair's father side of the family originate from Hama, the Syrian central city. Suhair's Grandfather had moved to Damascus and her father was raised there. But in his student days, he had been a member of the Syrian Muslim Brothers or the Brotherhood, an outlawed Islamist party in Syria. Suhair's father was in the Damascus branch but had lapsed from being a member in the mid-1970's. However, her uncles in Hama continued being active members.

They were part of the 'Hama clan' and were involved in an uprising against the secular Ba'athist regime. One uncle, Samir, was killed in the 1982 siege of Hama. Samir had left the brotherhood in the late 70's and joined a more radical violent group and these different groups staged a violent uprising against the regime. They 'liberated' the city of Hama, but the regime only laid siege to it. After taking the city, the regime went on to kill 20-30,000 people in the city as part of a collective punishment. Samir was killed in this punishment when his home was shelled.

Despite being staged by various groups many of whom were not part of the brotherhood the regime blamed the Muslim Brotherhood exclusively for the uprising and they began hunting down its member across the country. Suhair's other uncle, Dawood, was arrested and executed in a prison in Palmyra. No one was safe, not even Suhair's father, he decided to flee and seek asylum in Britain. He had only recently married, Alia, Suhair's mother. She was from a middle-class Damascene souk trading family. She was beautiful and a singer but she gave up dreams of pursing singing when she married Suhair's father.

Suhair was not very political and tried not to think about it. Instead, as she sat on the plane, she started reading her 'ideas notebook'. She wrote things and observations down of interest in here. She started reading an entry she wrote a few months before about the possibility of time travel. It was very detailed and noted that we were all time-travelers in a small way. It examined Einstein's relativity and theories relating to the speed of light.

The moment arrived, Suhair's flight had landed in Damascus. "Here goes nothing" Suhair thought, she didn't know if she would be arrested or interrogated as she entered the country and was in a nervous disposition. But she went through Passport control and nothing happened. They stamped her passport and said nothing. Suhair was relieved and now a sense of excitement overtook her. She had never been to Syria before.

The first thing that greeted her were pictures of Hafez, Bashar and Mahar Al-Assad. A reminder of who ran this country, but Suhair pushed it out and awaited the arrival of her auntie Suzie. Suzie was in her late fifties and had four adult children. She was widowed 15 years ago, when her husband died of cancer. He had worked in the Ministry of Transport and his pension just barely covered expenses.

Aunty Suzie had two daughters and two sons. Her oldest child, Ahmed 32, worked as a diplomat in the Syrian Foreign Service. He was currently on a posting in France, which he loved. He was a francophone, speaking fluent French and he loved French literature, films, art and music. He was married to a French Woman, called Christine and they had two children together.

Her youngest son, Mahmoud 20, was just starting his compulsory military service. Despite being young, Mahmoud was stocky, relatively well-built and 5"10 in height. He had been selected for one of the toughest regiments that conscripts soldiers could get into. However, her two daughters were more problematic.

There was 29 year old Amal. She was bohemian, artistic and creative. She was a painter, sculpture, film-maker and writer. She had married Zain who was also an artist but he was also an Alawite from Latakia. This raised eye-brows in the family and lead to salacious gossip. It was often (falsely) rumoured that he was related to the President of Syria. To make matters worse Amal use to do edge stuff in her artwork. She had made films and dramas about Female genital mutilation, extremism, poverty and corruption.

Aunt Suzie's youngest daughter, Fatima 25, was a good girl who worked as a sectary. But her husband was useless -- a gambler and a drunk. He was Palestinian from Yarmouk.

For all intents and purposes, Suhair would be living with Suzie. After passing through security. she could see her aunt waving over at her. They greeted by hugging and kissing. The greeting goes on forever as Suzie asks Suhair how everyone in England is doing. Finally, they drove to Suzie's modern apartment located in Kafai Sussiya, a wealthy district in Damascus.

It's a cute place and Suhair gets her own room since all of Suzie's children have left home. Suzie is from Suhair's mother's family and like much of her mother's family is liberal and resides in Damascus. On Suhair's first night-she got to meet some of her extended family. And for the first time she got too see how diverse they were and several of her cousins became her good friends over time.

On Suhair's first night all the female cousins gathered and began catching-up with one another. They talked well into the night and as is custom they began talking about their sex lives and exchanging tips. Which surprised and bemused Suhair who was not used to this.

Eight women being very explicit was a lot for Suhair to bear. Six of them were married and they dominated discussion. There was Mariam, who was the most pious and religious one in the group. She was a Hafez and had done religious studies and was now a teacher of religious studies at school. Her father was a prominent Islamic Sheikh, who was favoured by the regime for his conservative credentials and his pragmatic approach to the ruling regime. He was a professor of religion, jurisprudence, theology, exegesis and had ambitions to became the lead Imam at the Ummayad Mosque. To get to this position he pledged allegiance to the ruling Ba'ath party and he was personally vetted by the Syrian Intelligence agencies.

But despite all of this Mariam was the most revealing. Her husband, who was a Kurdish businessman, was very experimentive when it came to sex. Mariam told everyone about his appetite he quite liked Femdom, role-playing and masturbation. He had a foot fetish and he would make Mariam wear high-heels. He would get Mariam to handcuff him, strip him naked and force him to lay on the floor. Mariam would walk and stand over him in black high heel shoes, mini skirt and tight sleeveless shirt. She would kick him and force him to lick her heels.

Mariam would insult him and call him dirty names as she did it. She would even smoke and burn cigarettes into her husband. She would masturbate his penis by rubbing her high-heels into it. She would also walk on him in her high heels. Her husband was a big, successful, strong man and so being humiliated is what he liked. He also liked his penis to be insulted so Mariam would complain how sexually weak he was and how small he was. Once, he bought her a 12 inch pink dildo from Germany and he made her use it in-front of him. She would insult him as she used it saying this German satisfied her more than him. She had such a filthy mouth on her.

Of course, He also had a thing for Latex and Mariam had a range of outfits. Suhair couldn't help but be impressed at the ranges everything from catsuits, mini skirts, tops, leggings and others. But his favorite was to be urinated on Mariam would tie him to the ground and masturbate over his face. She always peed on him and if he didn't sit still Mariam's whip could take care of him. Some days, he just liked to lick the soles of Mariam's heels or in and out Mariam's leather boots. Mariam would also give him a hand-job on latex gloves.

This was perhaps more than Suhair wanted to know. But it didn't stop there. Another cousin called Amal said her husband was the opposite. He liked to dominate her. Her husband had a thing for Japanese anime and made her dress-up as a school girl. She would act Innocently, while he took advantage of her. He even used a ball-gag to stop her from screaming (as part of the role play). He also had a thing for cumming on her face -- sometimes referring to her as 'cream face princess'.

Suhair begged that this evening would be over, although it was fascinating to her. She couldn't get over how weird it all was. But the real talk was about beautiful blonde Suha. She was engaged to Tarek Bushaq, who was an up-and-coming entrepreneur and stock broker. He had made a fortune in Saudi Arabia and now owned land and property in Syria, Saudi Arabia and Germany. Not bad for a 28-year old. His surname Bushaq indicates that his family originate from the Balkans in Eastern Europe. And it showed -- he was a heart-throb with his white skin, piercing blue-eyes, dark-blonde hair and 6 foot height.

Suha who looked like she could have been from the Balkans too (but who wasn't), told the group about Tarek and his demands. Suha had been careful not to lose her virginity to him yet. But she had kept him satisfied she had given him anal whenever he wanted. Also blowjobs, and handjobs. She shared the details of the first time she had experienced anal with Tareq. It was a painful experiencebut worth it. At the sight of her naked butt, Tareq, would get over-excited and slide his 9-inches in too quickly. He would shout 'aaahh' as he was doing itbut Suha would scream 'aaahhhh'. He then pounded away.

But it was nothing Suha couldn't handle. And it was a relief that after 10-minutes he would cum. For ten minutes all he could hear was animalistic screams and cries and hard humping. The desk Suha leaned over would shake violently. Suha begging for mercy. But it was all worth it.

When the evening was done, Suhair breathed a sigh of relief. It was a lot for one evening. The next day and in the days to come Suhair went on exploring Damascus. She went to the Old City, which was surrendered by ancient walls and gates. Damascus is the oldest continually inhabited city, the streets of old Damascus are in the Bible. 5,000 years of history and civilization that you could feel everywhere. Whether it was on a 'Street Called Straight' or at ancient Christian tombs or at Muslim religious sites -- you felt it.

Suhair sat in a cafe, where she listened to the traditional Hakiwaiti or storyteller telling classical stories from the Arabian Nights and others. But for all the delights of this ancient city, there was a constant disturbing reality that plagued the country. And that was the fear of the Secret Police who many Syrians believed lived on every block. Suhair did not have a particularly paranoid mind-set but she knew she needed to watch what she said in public.

Despite this, Syrians were more modern and liberal than she was expecting. Women wore what they liked and there were plenty of young couples holding-hands. Suhair would later learn that 50% of Syrians are aged 19 or younger making it a very youthful society. But growing up as a Middle-Class girl in London, Suhair had discovered that despite her fight against racism she had herself internalized many of the stereotypes about Arabs made by Westerners. Unconsciously, she believed that females were oppressed, that Arabs were lazy, authoritarian, useless and uneducated.

Being in Syria helped her untangle these myths that she had unwittingly picked up on. It was hard at first. She felt homesick and these stereotypes would surface when she felt threatened which mostly was a result of being in a foreign environment. People fall back on mythical and romantic notions of themselves when they feel existentially threatened. They start believing they are some how superior without any reference to facts. Sometimes, Suhair felt restricted as a woman in this society, but then she began to wonder how much of this feeling was based on facts. Was the society really restricting her or was she psychologically placing these restrictions on herself?

Eventually, she soon overcame this and went on to do the work she had come to do. Suhair taught science in UN refugee schools and helped run an NGO which helped promote scientific learning in Syria. Suhair would amaze her students with details of black holes, the relativity of time and space, the splitting of the atom, parallel universes and of course how Quantum Physics worked. It was tricky, but she thinks she was able to explain the Paradox of having the same Atom in two different places at the same time.

She would also remind her students that the Arabs use to be the masters of science and she taught mini-histories of the Houses of Wisdom in Baghdad. She would take field trips into the desert with a telescope and show her students how the transit of stars, planets and moons happened.

Once she was lecturing to science teachers at Damascus University as part of a science education conference. She was in the middle of explaining how the earth changed course and started spinning on its axis and the effects this had. She was also talking about continental drift. While, she was doing this a man walked into the lecture hall and to Suhair he immediately stood out. He was young and handsome and he sat at the back. Suhair tried not to notice him and continued to talk.

Suhair kept glancing over at him and he seemed to be looking at her attentively. Suhair was thinking how amazing he looked. But she continued talking about how the Sahara turned from a jungle into a desert after the earth started spinning on its axis.

The talk finished, Suhair was packing her stuff up and the mysterious young man approached her. 'Ahlan' he says in a smooth tone 'I really liked your talk about the formation of the continents. My name is Bashar and I am a medical student here. I saw this conference advertised and thought I would check it out".

Suhair responds "Thanks for attending and your kind feedback. My name is Suhair, It is nice to meet you'. Bashar looks at her and says 'I take it from your accent you not from or were not raised in Syria'. Suhair was a little disappointed she had always thought her Arabic was a good as local. 'That obvious ha? Well, you're right. I am from London and I have only just moved here'.

Bashar replies 'Welcome to Syria. Would you like to grab some coffee?' Suhair smiles a cute guy asks her out for coffee initially, she smiles flirtatiously, and offers slight resistance but eventually agrees. 5"10, green eyed, light olive-skin Bashar presents Suhair with dishy prospects. He is much better looking than Andrew and Suhair has always been romantically and sexually interested in the 'Arab man.' She secretly desires the idea of being told what to do by a strong assertive man.

They head to the canteen and start drinking coffee and talking. Suhair tells Bashar about her life and she learns that Bashar, 26, is originally an Alwaite from Homs. As Suhair is talking, Bashar is looking at Suhair's beautiful hair, lips and body. He likes what he sees and who could blame him? They then turn to relationships. Bashar claims to have never had a girlfriend and he listens to Suhair's relationship history with much interest. Bashar says "So, now that your back in Syria, do you have plans to meet nice Syrian guys?'. Suhair does not respond and instead blushes.

"I will not beat about the bush, I like you, Suhair and I think you like me too. Why don't I take you out and we get to know-each-other?" Suhair is a little startled by the forwardness of his invitation, but she thinks to herself, "why on earth not?" Suhair has never been as happy as she is at this moment.