Continuation from Part 1.
"Seph, do you remember the place we stayed for a few days when we went to Ireland before we caught the ferry? That tiny place near St. David's in Wales. We loved it there; the girls were bored shitless though."
"Yeh, your right, I loved it too, and the girls have left home now."
"Shall we go for a look-see, Seph?"
"When?"
"Now."
"We have nowhere to stay".
"Now who's being a stupid twat girl? It's a holiday resort."
"Can we book a cottage?"
"No love, a B&B it's simpler for what we need now. If we like it and want another look, we can go for a fortnight."
"OK, you're on!"
Part 2.
Five minutes later, Google found us a little hotel near St. Davids. The contact name was Mrs. B. Spiers. I called and booked room and board for a fortnight. As a wild guess, I said we'd be there in 6 hours. Seph and I were ready to move into a new phase of our lives together.
"Please call me Ally. My given name is Briallen; it was my Nanna's name. I hate it; I shouldn't say that. I never met her; she died two days before I was born, so my mom named me after her.
I'm sorry, I do go on. You will have to get used to it if you spend much time here, though; we Welsh never say one word when we can get fifty in.
I feel your pain, Seph. My mom saddled me with Persephone. I hate it. Worse still, no one else in our common Muck family has ever been called anything like it.
That's a beautiful name, Seph. I'm glad you said it, though. I thought your husband said Steph.
Ally Spiers ran the B&B I had booked us into. I had said we were looking for a place to buy, and she assumed we were looking for a holiday home. We know now that the Welsh look at second homers with a healthy dose of scepticism. To be honest, some years later, so do we. Most arrive with carrier bags full of groceries in cars bought in London, Birmingham, Manchester, even Cardiff, or some other place filled with fuel 5 miles from their first home. If the landlord of the local boozer is lucky, they have a drink or two and one meal in his pub.
They complain there is nothing to do, and the sheep keep them awake at night, then go home. Seph jumped in and said, "We are not looking for a holiday home, Mrs. Spiers; we are looking to escape from the south east peacefully."When Mrs. Spiers realised we were coming here to lock stock and barrel, she morphed into Seph's new best friend, Ally. We spent a fortnight there and viewed over twenty places that varied from bloody awful to very nearly right.
Seph and I spent that entire summer back and forth between our rented home in Brighton and in and around St Davids head in southwest Wales. We arrived one afternoon to find Ally looking like she had lost a fiver and found sixpence. Me being a man didn't pick up on the negative waves; Seph did, immediately.
"Wasup, Ally," said Seph as soon as she got out of the car. "You look like you just noticed the world is going to end."
"I've overbooked," she said, in tears. If you don't mind, my best friend Jilly will put you up in her spare bedroom just for tonight. The couple in your room are leaving tomorrow, so I can have you back in there by lunchtime. I'm so sorry, I never ever get double booked.
"It's because you tried to fit us in at the last minute, isn't it?" I said.
"Well, err, yes, but it's my mistake, so I'm not going to charge you for this visit."
"Yes, you bloody well will!" Seph said. "Give her a hug, Stinky; she needs one."
We had all moved into Ally's house via the back door; we were in Ally's kitchen by now. So I did as my wife commanded me. When I let Ally go, she had a big smile and had nearly stopped crying, but her eyes still leaked an odd tear or two. I had my hands on her shoulders, and at that moment, the DJ on the radio station that Ally was listening to cued Dave Edmonds version of Nick Lowe's song. "I knew the bride." It's a fantastic rockabilly jive song that Seph and I both love.
I spun Ally out to my left and caught her right hand as she went through a 360-degree turn. I pushed her into a basic jive step. Ally went straight into a British four-beat step, and just like that, we were dancing.
Seph clapped the eight-bar rhythm--just the job, I thought--and Ally bounced into the returns. It makes it so easy to look good jiving when the woman you're dancing with returns your lead with some energy. Maintaining the energy is what makes jiving fun. Seph gave us about twenty beats, then joined on my right. That's the difficult side for a woman on a three-handed jive.
Before the song was over, we had this three-handed pat. Ally was obviously a pretty good dancer. It does a man's ego no harm at all to have two class A MILFs to dance with at the same time, though I have to say my chastity cage was causing severe discomfort by the time the DJ interrupted and the song ended.
As the radio broke for the hourly news, Ally said, you must come to our dance club with us. My friend Jilly and I go to a rock and roll club tonight. It's in Narberth, but that's not too far.
"Really! How far," we both said together?
"It takes me and Jilly about three quarters of an hour to get there."
"You go there to jive," said Seph?
"Yes, with a few strollers and a line dance or two, we are going tonight. Why?"
"We love jiving; I made Stinky here take me to a dance for our first date."
"Come with us; if you share him, we will pay your entry." Ally was joking but with more than a hint of serious in her voice. "There are two free places in the car and its only three pounds entry for a record hop. There aren't anywhere near enough men, "she went on." Well; there are, but some of them want a very high price for a dance. If you know what I mean, good leads are as rare as rocking horse poo."
"Gropers," asked Seph?
"You bet, some of them are like dancing with an octopus. I love to wear my 50s underwear, but it's like asking the wolf home for tea. So its Marks and Sparks armour plated bra and knicks for me, if my Dai was still with us he would rattle a few bones, "
It will have to be jeans and a checked shirt for me tonight. I didn't even bring any seamies, but if you want to flirt, this lummox will protect your honour. Rest assured; I'll be wearing my Sunday best in the future.
It's supposed to be Jilly's turn to drive tomorrow; but we will go in my Touareg, it's nice and comfortable for 4. I must warn you, we don't have a proper DJ anymore. The couple who run it take turns playing the records, only it's an iPad, not records. They have a live band once a month, but it's just a record hop tonight. We just do the best we can.
Later, when we were alone, Seph said to me, "I'm going to let you out of your tube tonight so you can dance properly. You need to know I'm going to be watching you. If you go for a piss and shake it more than three times, your bollocks are going into Ally's juicer! Am I clear?"
"Yes, my darling mistress, you are very clear."
The club is the best I've been to outside the southeast as far as friendliness is concerned. When I told the main man I had a couple of thousand watts of DJ amps and speakers with lights and lasers to go with it, he was interested. When I told him I had one hundred and seven thousand tracks he was impressed. When I told him at least a third were old rock n roll he dribbled on his iPad.
When I told him the price for bringing it was that he had to find it a home until we bought a place and settled in, and then he had to learn my computer programme and share the DJing, he was positively enthusiastic. I'm retired; I don't want to be at anyone's beck and call, and I don't ever need to be a wage slave again. Not even a rock n roll wage slave.
That was back in November; it's now May. We've been around the bloody, awful M25 twenty-five times since then. And we are still in this shitty two-up, two-down situation in Brighton. On the plus side, we know where we want to live; we know Ally, Jilly, and most of their friends. I am a playing member of the local rugby club. I play veterans rugby, old man stuff according to the young bucks.. We are both active bowls club and rock n roll club members. It's all 250 miles from where we don't want to live anymore, though.
"Have you any idea how hard it is to find a house in a nice place by the sea? All we need is 4 bedrooms, a bit of land, a big garage and workshop for your dad, and a cellar." Seph was talking to our youngest on the phone.
"Why a cellar, mom?"
"Err, erm, your dad wants to make wine."
"Why? All he drinks is bitter."
"He wants a hobby now that he's retired."