I looked around the sitting room, where my sisters and mother and the aristocratic and haughty Lady Marjory and the flame haired Rose her tall spoiled daughter, were all looking expectantly at me and I laughed.
"Mr Harnsworth," Lady Marjory demanded, "What exactly do you find funny?"
It was something my Father said many years ago, "John," he had said to me in his kindly manner as I stood before him many years ago as a child, "I fear that you shall have to make your own fortune in life."
Which was so far from the situation I found myself in it was laughable.
"Father?" I had enquired in confusion, make a fortune, surely father was a gentleman and I in turn should be a gentleman, indeed an officer and a gentleman
"The fact is John, your great uncle George allows us the use of this house, Matson, it is not mine, and indeed he allows me a small pension but he is an octogenarian and I fear my cousin Gerald will not be so generously inclined, when poor George succumbs.
"So Father?" I enquired, at a mere thirteen years as he sat in his favourite chair surrounded by his beloved books in his library.
"Put aside ideas of the military, of life as a gentleman and study John, study the ways of the merchant and the money men," he told me, "Be a rich tradesman John, not an impoverished gentleman."
"Father?" I asked.
"That's all John," he had said and I had left his presence with all my plans for a commission in the guards dashed.
I went to tell Mama but she was too busy with my sisters Dorothy and Harriet, and when I did tell her she said "Pay no heed, Gerald shall surely provide."
But I did heed Father's advice, indeed I applied myself diligently to the study of how money was made and but stages I found the law to be the chief impediment thereto, and, fancying myself deficient in stature and horsemanship for the life of a highwayman I asked father to find me an apprenticeship as a book keeper.
I started as assistant to Mr Belle book keeper to Mr Rogers a friend of father's from the regiment and then when I discovered an aptitude for the cards, and amassed a fortune at Mr Belle's expense I spent some time a clerk to Mr Faversham in Rochester.
Mr Faversham as I later discovered would set up voyages to the Africas and Americas offering immense returns on capital but at some risk, some would make considerable profits, from which Mr Faversham would make a pretty penny, others failed, the ships never being seen again, and I soon realised that more than ten of the ten per cent shares were sold on each such failed venture, as the Captain, crew, ship and even the sea charts were carefully chosen for their unsuitability, through decreptitude inaccuracy or mere incompetence and the whole enterprise designed to fail.
I pretended ignorance, and yet I sold extra shares and retained the money for myself as soon as all the initial ten of the ten per cent shares were sold, I fear I was greedy and when the St Francis was pronounced lost there were fifteen people clamouring for their money back. Poor Mr Faversham was nearly ruined, but he never suspected for one moment that it was I his naive apprentice whom had the money hid safe at my lodgings. I left his employ at this juncture at father's insistence as he believed Mr Faversham to be a rogue!
At age eighteen I employed a Captain Gurney and a ship full of drunkards and reprobates to run trinkets to the Africas, slaves to the Americas and Silver from the Argentine, knowing the ship the Theobald Eichmann should scarce clear the Lizard, Gurney was the front man I stood back as clerk and true to form he ran her on to the rocks off Perranporth, and so did my fortune accrue as I moved around the ports of the kingdom, never the Captain, always the insignificant clerk, Horowitz, or Dagenham, or Adams or Thwaites were the names I used and no one even suspected my way of working.
I maintained my contact with my family of course, Mama despised me I was sure but Father was not displeased, although I kept my own earnings very quiet, in fact I turned them into property as quickly as I was able and indeed by the age of twenty years I had quite a respectable portfolio of properties, in fact quite a disrespectable portfolio as many were bordellos and such places and by twenty two years I was quite the gentleman my ships went from Bristol to the Africas and Americas and made hansom profits, all of which I retained and reinvested in my ventures, except when father died I began to send small amounts to Mother as her allowance from great uncle George began to falter.
It was in the autumn when great uncle George succumbed, I was away, and returned to find an urgent appeal to return home, the house was somehow cold and cheerless though the fires burned brightly enough.
"Oh John!" Dorothy exclaimed, as soon as I arrived "Thank God you have come, we are undone!"
"How so?" I asked.
"Cousin Gerald has ordered us to leave Matson!" she blurted out.
"But why?" I asked.
"Because I desire it for my dear friend Miss Blanchard!" a harsh female voice announced before her scowling countenance appeared through the archway.
"Cousin Rose?" I asked incredulously, "Is that you?" I could scarce relate the scowling witch before me with the angel with the golden curls I had known in my youth.
"Indeed," she said, "And you are John, Mr Faversham's clerk?" she sneered.
"Indeed," I agreed.
"Then pray find accommodation for your rabble, my patience is not limitless." she snapped, "I suggest you start with immediate effect."
"Indeed, immediately after lunch," I suggested.
"I am mistress here now," she snapped, "I say immediately."
"Well were I a gentleman I should demur but I am in trade so show me your deeds, your papers and I shall decide from whom I take orders." I told her firmly and then without removing boots or coat I pushed rudely past her and went to find Mama.
"John, 'tis my fault," Dorothy confided to me, "Sebastian asked me to be his." she stopped.
"Wife?" I enquired.
"Mistress," she sobbed, "He said we should be cast out if I did not submit."
"Oh poor sister, of course you cannot submit I shall find you lodgings." I reassured her, but she took me aside into the little sewing room.
"But John, you don't understand," she said and she sobbed into her hand kerchief, and after a while she admitted, "Oh brother do not think ill of me but I did submit, I did John, carnally, and he cast me aside, and it is to no avail."
"What?" I demanded as I shut the door, "Submitted, how so?" my heart beat like a drum as I prayed she misunderstood carnality, "Tell me!"
"I allowed him to kiss me." she admitted.
"Just a kiss?" I asked.
"No, he made me bare my bosoms," she admitted, and I looked and I could see how desirable her big bosoms must seem, "And he played with them, and I own it was not unpleasant."
"So he compromised you, but." I said hopefully, "Tell me sister I need to know."
"But he came again and again and by degrees he bared me," she said, "And then at once he made me bare myself entirely."
"Oh Dolly," I used her pet name.
"He assured me mother would be safe if I afforded him the small pleasure, and you were nowhere," she exclaimed.
"And then?" I asked.
"He wanted me entirely bare, I shook with shame John," she said tremulously, "I did in truth, he made me disrobe with Phyllis the maid present as witness I did it willingly, but t'was not willingly, and then he explored every inch of me kissing and probing."
My heart sank. "Oh Dolly," I said quietly.
"Then when he came again he dis-robed also and made me kiss and caress him also." she admitted.
"Dolly, did you resist?" I asked.
"No, it was exciting John, I was carried along, and I was doing it for Mama." she said, and I sensed she wanted to tell me more.
"He seduced you?" I suggested.
"Yes," she agreed, "And then he produced his snake, and made me touch it and kiss it and."
"Were you bare?" I asked.
"John!" she exclaimed, "It matters not, but I had to feel and kiss and handle and,"
"It exploded no doubt," I added.
"When I suckled upon it, yes." she admitted.
"He forced you?" I asked. she shook her head, "Oh Dolly, and was this the limit of the indignity?"
"No," she shook her head, "he locked the door as always, you see Mama knew and approved my actions,"
"She knew!" I railed.
"Yes," she nodded, "She reassured me that if I obliged him entirely he would become so besotted that he could not but offer marriage."
"That stupid selfish woman!" I exclaimed, "And how obliging were you?" I asked and her eyes said it all.
"I obliged him entirely," she admitted, "We lay together John, and he placed his snake within me."
I had one last despairing hope, "Wherein did he place himself sister," I asked, "To the front or?"
"To the front and he did such every afternoon," she smiled at the thought.
"You encouraged him?" I asked.
"Yes, he made me feel loved John, after the discomfort of the initial time, I believed he loved me and showed his love with his snake and his seed," she said and she smiled shyly among her tears.
"And why did he spurn you?" I asked.
"I bled and he demanded he might," she paused.