Longing for the Leash

Deja vu.

I had done this exact same thing many times over the years. I took a deep breath, smiled and pressed the doorbell.

My memory refracted to all those previous times. This was different. We chatted for months and had already established a surprising connection. She revealed the depths of her deviant desires; I was teased, tormented and tortured. We already had a dynamic before I stepped foot into the dungeon..

The door opened. This was fucking real now. Keep it casual. I had done this all sorts of times before. Act like you've been here before.

I walked into the familiar entryway, turned my head and saw Goddess Faye in all her glory. I couldn't help myself. I fell to my knees. I still had enough sense to grab the envelope of cash out of my bag, prostrated myself on the ground and proffered it to her.

Outfit requests were always corny and I never bothered with them, but this was different. I begged her to go in a more casual skin just to ensure I didn't completely lose my shit when I saw her.

As was her right, she ignored me. She perched on shiny platform heels, her feet in delicate nylons connected to a strappy garter belt. She rocked a zip-up leather corset with a thong that lewdly showed off every inch of her hips and ass. Worst of all, Goddess's makeup was flawless -- ornate eyeliner wings with crimson lips that made her look like a hungry predator. Her pigtail braids added a demonic touch to her look.

She weaponized her look to make me well and truly fucked.

"Oh you are fucked up for me, aren't you sweet?" she said in that lilting melodic voice of hers.

"Yes, Goddess Faye." I sputtered out. "I am fucked up for You, Goddess." I held my eyes to the floor. It was easier this way.

I could hear her counting the cash in front of me. She unfolded the letter I wrote from the envelope -- something cute I picked up. It was two pages, double-spaced, full of appreciation, praise and kind words directed her way. I heard a pleased murmur from her, an errant giggle.

Then she commanded me to look her in the eyes.

I moaned and slowly raised my head. I saw her eyes quirked in curiosity. Her wolfish grin showed bright white teeth, sharply contrasted with her bloody-looking lips.

"Cute letter, slut." she said with a tinkling laugh that cut through me. "Your handwriting needs work though. I thought we talked about that? Maybe we should get you doing lines today until it starts to improve..."

"Yes Goddess," I whispered.

"Take your coat and shoes off, then follow me into the dungeon."

"Yes Goddess."

I quickly did as I was told, visibly shaking with nerves, then crawled behind her. I was still dressed thankfully. I looked up and saw her heavenly thong cut deep between her ass.

She looked back and caught me staring. "Did I tell you to crawl on your hands and knees?" Goddess Faye asked.

"No Goddess. You didn't."

"No. I didn't," she huffed angrily. "I like the initiative though Jordy. But you got a treat you shouldn't have."

"Yes Goddess, I'm so fucking sorry Goddess."

"You will be," she smiled.

"Yes Goddess Faye."

We moved to the main space; paddles, whips, floggers and all sorts of toys lined the walls -- all the suffering I endured on that St. Andrew's Cross. I took it all in with a mix of sentimentality for the past and excitement for what my future held.

We stopped in front of her open gear bag in the center of the room. I caught a silvery glint of those evil-looking alligator nipple clamps -- of course she'd give me a taste of them after I helped pay for them.

Goddess pointed to the ground and wordlessly commanded me in front of her. I crawled, then sunk to my knees and bowed reverently staring at the floor.

"Eyes up here, sweet!" she threatened. "You are going to keep eye contact with me until I tell you otherwise, got it?"

I dragged my eyes to hers, scared of being perceived by her in my vulnerable state. We quietly stared into each other's souls.

"This is for your bit about my backwash. Open your mouth," she demanded. I did it immediately without thinking. She let a long, stretchy rope of saliva slooowly drip directly into my mouth. I moaned as I tasted her divinity. "Good slut."

"Thank you Goddess."

"Remember what I called you originally, Jordy?"

"Yes Goddess. Poodle enby."

"Yessss. Well, I want to play with a pretty poodle today. I know pet play isn't your thing, but you did want to be dehumanized when we talked about our scene today... " she trailed off. "Would you like that?"

"Fuck yes Goddess" I gasped.

"Excellent, my pretty little poodle," she whispered. "Good doggies wear collars, don't they? So if they get lost they can find their way to their owners."

"Yes Goddess."

She slapped me. Hard. "Do puppies talk, sweet?" she asked, her eyes wide.

I let the gears turn in my head -- I wasn't sure what she wanted, it wasn't clear to me. I kept my mouth shut -- it was agonisingly silent. She stared into my soul.

"Pretty poodles bark. Once for yes, twice for no. Puppies can also always use their safeword at any time they want."

I barked once, short and sharp. "Good dog!" Goddess Faye laughed. I felt a warm and fuzzy feeling wash over me.

"Now, to really get you in the puppy headspace I have to give you a tail," she said reaching into her gear bag. She grabbed a pair of latex gloves, some lube and a thick buttplug.

Now my eyes were wide. I had practised taking larger toys but that thing looked mean.

"If you want to earn my collar, you need to take my tail. You can do that, right?"

I was quiet for a second, then squeaked out a single bark.

"Good dog." She gave me a quick scratch behind the ear with her claws. She snapped the gloves onto her hands and moved behind me. I heard a wet plop -- lube? -- and felt her carefully insert a few fingers to stretch my ass out. I moaned and whined pathetically. Thankfully I had cleaned myself out before our session so I was already warmed up and well-prepared.

Goddess methodically worked my hole until she made a wordless, satisfied sound. She pulled her fingers out, grabbed the plug with her other gloved hand, lubed it up and slowly inserted it. The plug's massive base moved its way through me and I used every yoga breathing technique I knew to work through that initial discomfort. It was the biggest thing I had taken so far and it was stretching me.

Finally she slid the plug all the way home. She gave me another scratch behind the ears. "Good dog! Now that you've taken my tail, you can wear my collar..."

Something took me over in that moment as I fell into what must have been petspace. I wanted to get more scratches, more praise. I wiggled my ass in the air as a crude approximation of a tail wag.

She grabbed a posture collar and clasped it on my neck. It was heavy and forced my head forward -- I couldn't move it. Hot.

"Do you want to be my leashed pretty poodle, sweet?"

I barked immediately. Fuck yes I did.

"I don't know... Do you deserve it?"

Two barks. Goddess laughed again. Every time I felt her joy the submissive fire inside me burned brighter. God I wanted to hear it again and again, to hear her having as much as an amazing time as I was.

"Well, even if you don't deserve it I am the nicest after all, aren't I sweet?"

I barked once and wagged my tail again. She was the nicest.

"Besides, we need to get a move on," she threatened. "I've got all sorts of fun depravity planned and need you on the leash."

She kneeled down in front of me and dropped the metal chain and clip in front of me. We were face-to-face with the dangling chain in between.

We stared at each other again. I felt woozy. My half-lidded eyes betrayed my descent into subspace. Goddess looked at me cooly with little emotion across her face.

"You want this, don't you, pet?"

I was completely drunk on lust, on submission -- I wanted so desperately to serve her, to please her. I would do almost anything to see her genuinely smile. To feel that joy, to give me the privilege of exploring her desires.

I barked. It was almost a gurgle. The cold expression on her face broke. She smiled.

"Good pet, let's get started shall we?" She clipped her leash to the posture collar and I shuddered in the symbolism of that moment.

Then Goddess Faye stood up, pulled the chain hard and marched me forward to my doom.

---

In honour of Goddess Faye, who gave me a task to write about how much i longed to be under Her control, to be leashed by Her.