The night was illuminated only by streetlights as Alex made his way home from the bar, alone. He was tipsy, but not drunk, and disappointed, but not surprised, that he was alone yet again at the end of a Friday night.
Alex absentmindedly felt for his wallet in his pants pocket, a nervous ritual he indulged in dozens of times a day. This time, however, he felt nothing.
Alex quickly checked his other pockets. Nothing. It was gone. He lost his wallet.
"Shit," he swore. "Shit shit shit. This is all I need right now. Shit."
He turned around, ready to start trying to retrace his steps as quickly as possible. He was almost positive someone will have found and stolen it by now.
Alex was so distracted by his lost wallet that he almost plowed straight into a young woman.
She was absolutely stunning, with long golden-blonde hair framing her cute face with big blue puppydog eyes. The girl looked about the same age as Alex, probably a year or two younger.
The girl held Alex's wallet out for him with both hands.
"Oh my god," said Alex, overjoyed, as he took the wallet. "Good girl!"
He realized how awkward that sounded.
"I mean thank you, sorry, thank you. I was so worked up when I thought I lost my wallet I don't know what I'm saying."
The girl just stood there, smiling.
"My name's Alex, pleased to meet you."
The girl's expression didn't change.
"What did you say your name was?" Alex asked.
The girl gave no reply. Alex figured she must not want some strange man knowing her name. Fair enough, she had done him enough favors today.
"Well thanks again," he said. "This was huge for me. I can't replace some of the stuff in here."
Alex turned and continued on his way home.
Internally he was beating himself up for not being smoother with the girl back there. He probably had a shot with her until he blew it with that 'good girl' nonsense. Who did he think he was, her grandfather? Stupid.
He stewed in his own failure for a little more than a city block when he got the strange instinctual sensation that he was being followed.
Alex looked behind him. Sure enough there was the girl from before about twenty paces behind him. She stopped when he stopped.
"Is there something I can do for you?" Alex asked.
The girl just smiled.
Alex realized that maybe she wanted a reward for returning his wallet.
"How rude of me," he said. "I should have offered you something before for finding my wallet. Does $20 sound fair?"
She gave him no reply.
"I don't want to insult you, what about $40?"
The girl cocked her head to one side.
"Look I'm not rich," said Alex. "I think $40 is fair."
The girl blinked but did not otherwise move.
"Last call for $40..." said Alex.
Nothing.
"Have it your way," he said, and turned around to continue home.
He did so, and the girl continued to follow him.
Alex turned around again.
"Are you following me, or are we just coincidentally walking in the same direction?" he asked.
The girl licked her lips.
"You know what?" said Alex. "It's late. I tried to thank you for returning my wallet. You do whatever it is you think you need to do."
The girl did and, apparently, this consisted of continuing to follow Alex.
Alex wondered if maybe he actually still had a chance with this girl. Then her chastised himself for being delusional. She was just upset with him about the wallet for some reason.
Alex made it all the way home with the girl still following him. He approached the front door to his house with her right behind him.
"Well I'm going inside now," Alex told the girl.
He kind of expected her to leave but she just kept watching him.
Alex turned around and stuck the key in the lock on only the third try. Swish. See, he wasn't drunk. He unlocked the front door and opened it.
Something collided with his shoulder. It was the girl, pushing past him, rushing into his house like she owned the place.
"Hey!" shouted Alex.
He followed her inside and found her perched on his couch on all fours, her ever-present manic grin still plastered all over her face.
"What do you think you're doing?" asked Alex.
The girl barked at him. It was still obviously a human making the noise but she did a very good job making it sound authentic. It wasn't a symbolic "woof" it was a realish bark.
There was a beat of silence.
"What?" Alex demanded.
The girl barked again and bounced a little where she stood on the couch.
"WHAT?!" Alex demanded.
She pushed her upper body down and her butt up into the air and wiggled it, like a puppy signaling playfulness.
Alex was at a complete loss for what to do. He didn't want to call the police on this girl; hell, he didn't even really want her to leave. He just wanted to have some semblance of an idea of what was going on.
"I have no idea what your deal is," said Alex. "If you need a place to stay you can sleep here tonight I guess. I don't have a guest room or anything but you can take the couch."
The girl barked again and continued to wiggle her butt.
She was definitely drunk or high or drunk and high. Alex didn't quite know what was going on but he knew she was in no position to consent to sex. So there went that plan right out the window. That was just his luck too; he finally gets a pretty girl over to his place and she's out of her mind.
She could stay here tonight, sleep off whatever it was this was, and he would figure out what was even going on in the morning.
Alex went upstairs to get the girl a pillow and a blanket. He gave them to her and she barked her thanks. Then he left her to whatever it was she thought she was doing and went to bed.
* * *
Alex woke the next morning to the pleasant warmth of another body. Alex lay in that warmth for several glorious minutes before his mind recalled the events of last night.
He suddenly realized who the warm body had to be.
At some point in the night the girl had gotten up, stripped naked, and slipped into Alex's bed. She was still there sleeping right next to him.
Alex hoped she wasn't going to be shocked and horrified when she woke up. She had been completely out of her mind last night. He doubted she would remember much.
