You don't think it's weird?"
"No darling, of course I don't." Mimi smiled, kissing Sven's temple. "I love doing this."
Sven sighed and looked up at her. She giggled and he raised an eyebrow. "What?" he asked, "What's so funny?"
"Don't look so worried." She chided him, "I was just thinking how pretty you looked like that, all pouty and puppy dog eyes."
Sven blushed and Mimi giggled again.
"Stop it." He whimpered, "I'm trying to be serious. I...I...I'm just so...I don't get it. I don't understand why I feel like this, why I want it." He rolled over and placed his head in his palm, laying against the pillow, "But I know that when I get it, when you're there, pushing against me and I'm trapped like that, I'm free and floating and it's so, so, beautiful." Sven sighed and Mimi put her hand on his shoulder.
"I know." She nodded, kissing his hair. "I know, and I love it. And it's beautiful and brave and you needn't be scared, not with me. Not ever. Don't feel like you can't ask me anything because I'll find it too weird or not weird enough or lacking in any way. I want you to be happy and comfortable and safe." she hesitated and lay down next to him, her fingers meeting his in the half light, "There's nothing more important than feeling safe." She ran her hand up over his chest, curling her fingers around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. "I want to take everything away and give you everything that you need. Never forget that." She said.
Sven breathed out heavily, his face stunned in the pale light, " You know I never thought I would find this. I thought that I'd end up alone, I really did. Who wants a guy like me?" He raised his hand to Mimi's arm and brushed it absent mindedly, "Mimi, I never thought...I'd find you. And it's so perfect." he leant over her and planted tiny kisses over her torso, through the thin fabric of her nightshirt. "Thank you. Thank you, thank you," he leant forward, littering kisses down her body, over her shoulders and down her arms. "Thank you, baby."
She smiled and pulled him onto her, her arms snaking around his neck, "I felt the same. I know what it's like to fear loneliness, true loneliness. And it breaks my heart to think of you like that."
He kissed her gently, brushing his lips against hers and pulling her into him. She rolled over, twisting, pushing her bottom against his thigh.
"Do you think I'm less of a man for wanting this?" He asked, "Do you think I'm weak?"
" Don't be stupid." Mimi slapped his thigh and turned in his arms again, writhing, hugging him close to her, "You're my man and every time I see you on your knees or lost in subspace, you become stronger and stronger. You become more of a man, Svenny. Tough and beautiful and mine" she snuggled into his arms and he gripped her tight.
"Whatever you want you only have to ask for, you know."
Sven nodded and carried on stroking her arm with his fingertips. "I know. And I'll try. But, you know..."
"I know." Mimi turned her face and he kissed her on the cheek. She laughed, her breath hot against his chest, her lips brushing against the hair there. "I know."
It took five days for Sven to work up the courage to actually ask Mimi for anything more. He was awestruck. He had spend too long thinking of it, needing it, coveting it, desperately. Oh so desperately, wanting it that now it had actually appeared he was scared to death. It was not a desire that he could hide and pack away and resign himself to not having anymore, but real and breathing and vital and arrived in the guise of a 5'2 redhead who was good with kids and softly spoken. A million miles away from the blonde bitch goddesses of his fantasies. And, he had to admit, a million times hotter. Because, to look at her, you never would have thought it. It was their secret, their thing away from the manly bullish joking and boisterous battling on tour and silliness with the band, it was a compartmentalized hidden separate part of him, which he had packed into a box and pushed aside. And now, he was opening it again, unsure of what the creature inside had become. Or even if he could control it once it was out. Sven was afraid of his own desire, afraid because he looked everything like the bitches and ho's frat boy that society said was acceptable, apart from this. This one, crucial thing, the fly in society's acceptable, macho, man's man ointment. And he fucking hated it.
He rubbed his neck nervously and waited for the rings in the dark. Mimi answered, her voice bright and happy, filled with the joy of a Friday afternoon.
"Hello, sweetie." She said, "Everything okay?"
"Yes thanks." He answered. "Listen, you're not going home before you're coming back here are you?"
"Err, yeah probably," answered Mimi, "I need to pick up my stuff for this weekend. Then I'll get the takeaway and then I'll come over to you. Why?"
Sven took a breath and smiled, embarrassed despite being alone in his apartment. "Could you bring some stuff with you?" he asked, "You know, toys or something. Maybe the handcuffs. Whatever you have."
"Oh," Mimi smiled, ignoring the woman staring at her across the tube carriage, "Okay. Are you sure?"
"Completely." He smiled, "I want this tonight. Are you okay with that?"
"More than you will ever know." She answered, "You have no idea how long I've waited."
"Likewise." Sven said, "Likewise."
"I'll see you in about half an hour, then." Said Mimi, the tension twisting in her voice, desire creaking like taught rope.
"Maybe we should skip the food, Mimi. We can eat later." Sven rubbed his neck nervously and slumped against the sofa.
"Hmm." She teased, pulling a face at the woman opposite, "Someone's eager."
"Shh!" He blushed, "Don't tease me."
"Oh, no! Sweetie I'm ravenous. I've not eaten since this morning. And I was really looking forward to those epic little spring rolls."
He laughed and fiddled with a loose thread on his jeans as he spoke, "Okay. I'll see you later then. Love you."
"Yep. See you later. Love." Mimi pressed the red button on her phone and slid it back into her handbag. The tube juddered to a stop and she very nearly skipped home. The truth be told, she didn't feel like eating much either.
Thirty-nine minutes later there was a loud knock at the door and Sven strode down the hall to open it.
"Hey baby." Mimi stood in the doorway with her hair curled and her makeup on holding a white bag of takeaway in one hand and a large, black hold all in the other. She was also wearing some black vinyl heels that Sven had never seen before.
"Whoa. You look..." his mouth fell open and she grinned coyly, "amazing."
"Why thank you!" she winked, "Can I come in?"
"For sure. Get in here!" He grabbed the food and her hold all from her and put them both on the kitchen table. "Err, I thought we were going to just watch some DVD's and-"
Mimi giggled and slapped her boyfriend's chest playfully, "You know damn well the last thing we were ever going to do tonight was watch movies."
Sven blushed and looked at his girlfriend coyly, "Well, I didn't like to get my hopes up..." he whined.
Mimi laughed and hugged him again. "After that phone call?"
Sven blushed again and kissed her, his tongue meeting hers, slow and calm and contented.
"No getting out of it that easily," Mimi whispered, "Not at all."
"Can I see what you've got?" Sven inquired, blushing again.
"All in good time, my dear, all in good time. But first, food. You sure you're not hungry – I got you that noodle thing you like." Mimi looked up from pulling the small silver cartons from the bag and at her boyfriend. His face said everything.
No, he was not hungry. All he cared about right now was the way that she was licking her fingers and bending over the table in that tight, red dress and fuck me shoes. Promising to make everything he'd ever longed for reality and acting like it wasn't even that much of a big deal. And, no, he did not want that noodle thing.
"You know," she grinned, "I'm going to put this in the oven for later. You don't look in a fit state to eat, right now. In fact," she whispered, rubbing his chest, her other hand on his arm, "You don't look in a fit state to be doing much at all. Which is just as well.."
Sven's eyes went wide, "What?" he gasped, "Tell me."
Mimi picked her bag off the table and skipped down the corridor to the bedroom. "Why don't you get in here and find out." She laughed, disappearing into the dark beyond.
Sven walked into the bedroom and found that Mimi had placed the bag on the bed. The chair from the corner of the room was now in the centre of the wide, square space.
"Don't walk any further." Mimi commanded, "Before you come any nearer, I want you to strip naked and place your clothes out of the way. Don't put them on the chair." She winked. Sven felt all of the blood drain out of his chest.
