Lipstic Stain

I tasted lipstick long before I could see it.

I couldn't see anything. Only the darkness. My world had shrunk to the size of our small bedroom. The smell of burning wax filled the space around me, exposed on the bed. Dark and trance-like music blared from the earbuds she had placed in my ears. Time had slowly become an arbitrary concept as I laid strapped to the bed for what seemed like an hour. It may have only been 20 minutes. I don't know. Suddenly I could feel the bed shift. Another presence had climbed onto it. My heart began to rush, adrenaline flooded my veins as I panted with anticipation. I had been made to be patient, restraining my animal desires for over a week now. I knew she would take care of me. She knew best. The light touch of mesh and lace traced up my calf and shin. The presence climbed on top of me, straddling my hips. As she pressed herself into me, I involuntarily attempted to grind myself into her, desperate for whatever contact I could steal. No sooner had I begun to squirm when a sharp pain broke onto my left cheek. She had laid her hand across my face with little restraint. She had instructed me not to move. I knew that, yet I had disobeyed. Fuck. Guilt. Shame. I knew I could be better. I knew she deserved better. She leaned forward and I inhaled the familiar scent. Her deodorant, hair, her skin. Lust and love. Fear and respect. I tasted it. Her lips briefly touched mine, and she stood, leaving me to obsess over my mistake with the taste of her lipstick serving as a reminder of what I had gotten myself into. Of who I had gotten myself mixed up with.

An indefinite amount of time passed. The occasional bead of sweat ran down the side of my face. My excitement was tainted by fear. Or was that just excitement? I could hardly tell the difference anymore. Was I even still awake? Had I been awake for any of this or was she only a fantasy I had created in a fever dream?

Instantly, light flooded my eyes and there was silence all around. She had ripped the earbuds out and removed the mask that had blinded me. My eyes began to adjust to my new reality. There was a new scent in the room, still smoke but... not from a candle. A different kind of smoke. I heard clicks on the hardwood, followed by the squeak of the leather chair that sat in the corner as she settled down into in. I adjusted myself as best as I could to lean up and get my bearings. She had unplugged the clock. Dammit, she was too smart.

She was just staring silently. My mouth fell open slightly. A small gasp. The last time I had seen her, hours before, she had been wearing an innocent sun dress and brown sandals. How on earth was this the same creature?

She gazed at me with a stern poker face. Her big, deep hazel eyes gave no ground. No clues. No hints. They only stared at me out from under her bangs. The bangs that framed her face like a portrait in a gallery. Only the slight tinge of a smirk formed at the corner of her mouth as I caught sight of her. Her long legs were elegantly crossed; covered in black stockings that were held up by a garter belt. The lacy accessory accented the curves of her waist better than most women could ever hope for. Her right heel dangled slightly off of her small foot. Her long hair fell around her shoulders. Her floor-length black robe gave her the appearance of royalty, hiding only enough from view to keep anyone lucky enough to see her longing for more. She displayed her matching black bra and panties like a store mannequin might, inspiring hopeful onlookers that maybe someday they too could capture magic in this world, if only they bought the right clothes. She was calm and confident. Seeming entirely in her element. I could never hope to get used to the sight, no matter how many times I looked upon her. Only this time, there was a new ingredient I had never seen before. There was dark lipstick staining the butt of the cigarette that casually balanced between the fingers of her right hand. I had never seen her smoke in my life. Since when did she smoke? Fuck, how did she always manage to surprise me? Keep me guessing? I was conflicted at the sight, but the tight throbbing that overcame me served as evidence that I wasn't really conflicted at all.

For a long time, we said nothing. I was speechless. Too nervous to let words escape my lips. With anyone else, this silence would be deafening, but she managed to hold control over the room without uttering a word. She displayed none of the nerves that I felt course through my body. She just calmly bounced her foot as she lounged back in her chair, never breaking her gaze. Taking slow, deep, long drags on her cigarette. My anticipation grew with every passing moment. My thoughts ran wild, desperately trying to recall every little thing I could have done to displease her. Fuck. What was she thinking. What did she have in store for me.

When the cigarette had almost burned down, she uncrossed her legs and stood. Gracefully, she made her way over to the bed, placed her knee between my feet, and crawled slowly forward until she was hovering over me, face to face. She took one last drag, blew smoke into my face, and smirked. "Oh, you poor boy. You simply have no idea how much trouble you are in."

I gasped in pain as she crushed the burning cigarette into my chest.