It would be easy to say it all started because I needed a cheap sofa for my new house, but that would be disingenuous at best, a lie at worst. The truth is that I was drawn to the idea of a D/s relationship. In the distant past, I had stumbled on a website for women interested in the D/s lifestyle. Ever since, I spent every spare dime and hour living a vicarious D/s existence through pornography. When my Craigslist search drifted from "furniture" to "casual encounters," it was actually the natural progression of my interest in a D/s relationship, not chance. The time had come for me to live what had been relegated to the realm of fantasy. Here is how I lost my submissive's "virginity" through my first experience with a Dominant – and, in the process, began to discover love that brings meaning to my life, thus starting a journey that I hope never ends.
First, there was a brief exchange of e-mails. I responded to the Dominant's Craigslist posting for a submissive partner for dinner and other "casual encounters" during the Dominant's five day business trip in the area. In all my e-mails, despite expressing myself formally and respectfully, I was honest about my total lack of experience in submission. What I did not realize at the time was that my honesty proved to the Dominant that I was a real, live person, not the usual automated lure for a pay-by-the-minute chat line.
Then came the Dominant's telephone call and invitation to dinner. The Dominant offered the security of a meeting in a public restaurant of my choice, but included a challenge in submission. The Dominant said I should arrive to meet him with my panties pulled up tight into my cunt and ass. Even though I fully expected my first meeting with the Dominant to be my last, it never occurred to me to not to action on that instruction! From the moment I recognized the Dominant walking across the parking lot to the restaurant, I was so enthralled that I was shocked and disbelieving when the Dominant mentioned during dinner that similar postings on Craigslist in advance of prior business trips seldom resulted in opportunities for dinners like the one we were sharing. I still find it incredible that the many submissives throughout the country have been and are unable to recognize and appreciate this Dominant's wealth of experience, talent and power. Those submissives are denying themselves the honor and privilege of meeting this Dominant, and perhaps even serving and submitting to, this Dominant. I am proud that, ignorant and untested as I was when I found this Dominant's posting, I did not react as those poor submissives have done who denied themselves such an opportunity and great experience.
My first dinner with the Dominant was quiet and interesting, with a nearly imperceptible undertone of sexual tension under the "meeting a new person" chatter. When dinner concluded, I was asked to go to the ladies' room and remove my panties and bring them to the Dominant. The submissive self that I had stuffed away for decades again made itself known, causing me to immediately comply with the Dominant's request. When the Dominant, whilst standing in front of the restaurant, under a bright light, stretched my huge, white cotton "granny" panties out and felt and smelled the soaking wet crotch, my submissive self celebrated – knowing the Dominant it had sought for so long, had been found at last.
After that first dinner, there were more telephone calls and e-mails, which the Dominant later called "setting the hook" so that the Dominant could "reel" me into the experience of submission. Difficult as it is for me to believe that the Dominant had any doubt of my interest, I had some difficulty admitting even to myself that I already knew that this Dominant offered my submissive self the equivalent of water for one dying of thirst. I did not dwell on the life-changing impact of my first meeting with the Dominant (especially the way in which I responded to the Dominant's instructions with absolute trust and no reservations), but I could not deny my near desperation for another opportunity to spend time with the Dominant whilst the opportunity was available.
In addition to my personal and emotional desperation to find a means to channel and express my submissive nature, the fact that the Dominant was in my area only for a five day business trip, after which he would return to his home 700 miles distant from mine, increased the compulsion I had to seize the opportunity whilst it was available. To be honest, on some level I felt that, if the second meeting with the Dominant went badly, I could attribute the rejection I anticipated to the Dominant thinking a long distance D/s relationship would not be workable, rather than accepting my responsibility for being too fat, too old, too ignorant in submission or simply not acceptable to the Dominant. One of the hallmarks of my personality is that I usually can see many sides of an issue or circumstance. In this situation, that trait was heightened by the intensity of the desire I felt to finally be who I was, my expectation that I would not meet the Dominant's physical or submissive standards, and my fear that I would not be able to find a way to express my submission and desire to serve. With all these conflicts bouncing around in my head, the thought that the Dominant would very soon be more than 700 miles away was both comforting and daunting.
Just three days after our initial dinner, the day of the second meeting finally – and oh, so quickly – arrived. E-mails with the Dominant's specific preferences had been received, read, digested, itemized, and followed. It was easy for me to focus on the things that needed to be done before I presented myself to the Dominant, rather than thinking about safety issues or even why it was impossible for me to imagine missing the opportunity to be in the presence of the Dominant I already longed to serve. I had learned from the Dominant's e-mails that the Dominant preferred me to be hairless from nose to toes. I spent more than an hour shaving all the usual places and, after first trimming the hair with scissors, my pubic area as well. It took a long time to shave, and re-shave, and re-shave, especially since there were parts of my pubic area I could not see because I was so overweight! But, even in my untried and inexperienced submission, I was happy to have that effort to make because I already realized that everything I was doing was in the Dominant's service.
After visiting a couple of stores, I purchased jet-black pantyhose, and returned home to remove the crotch, as the Dominant preferred. On the day on which I was to meet the Dominant again, I also moved, in a torrential downpour of winter rain, into my new house! As a result, I was not able to locate my vegetable peeler to prepare the three carrots the Dominant had requested be brought to our meeting, but I brought the carrots to the hotel without peeling them. With almost all my worldly goods still in damp boxes placed throughout my house, I also was unable to locate my wooden clothespins, which the Dominant had requested be brought to the meeting as well, and I was unable to find any at the stores where I searched for pantyhose. The Dominant had requested that I bring along a blindfold as well. The fact that Valentine's Day was coming up made it possible for me to find and buy a blindfold (in hot pink leopard print!), and I was pleased at being able to accommodate the Dominant's request.
Following e-mailed instructions, I drove to the hotel, found the Dominant's rental car and retrieved the key card for the Dominant's room. I took a deep breath, and entered the hotel via a side door to climb the flights of stairs to the Dominant's room. When I located the correct door, I used the key card and entered the Dominant's room. Looking back on this experience now, I marvel that I felt no panic, or fear or even simple anxiety. Whilst good common sense should have given me pause about going alone into the room of a man I had barely met, I felt nothing but the sense that I was finally coming home to the real person I was and I had denied for far too long. I had no sense of danger, only concern that, when the Dominant saw me naked, I would be rejected as too fat, too out-of-shape, and too old. Yet, even that concern, ingrained from years of rejection previously endured, was merely background noise, unrecognized in the triumphant chorus of all that was submissive within me at finally finding its voice and its life after years of solitude and silence.
Once inside the Dominant's hotel room, as the Dominant preferred, I removed my clothing and in only my crotchless pantyhose and black pumps, I walked to the center of the room, my back to the door. En route, again as the Dominant requested, I laid out the carrots on the Dominant's bed. At the center of the room, I covered my eyes with the blindfold whilst standing with my feet shoulder-width apart, and then bent over at the waist to grasp my ankles with my hands.
Even now, I do not know if seeing the Dominant seated at the desk, focused on his laptop, and apparently oblivious to my presence was helpful. I was too unskilled in submission to realize that my entry should have included my formal and respectful greeting to the Dominant by way of acknowledging the honor and privilege accorded me by allowing me to offer my submission and service. The Dominant's silence was disconcerting, but it also allowed me to focus on what I had been asked to do in order to comply with the Dominant's preferences.
Soon after I was in position in the center of the room, I heard the unmistakable sound of separating Velcro, then immediately I felt straps binding my wrists and ankles together. Then there was the sound of vinyl gloves going on, followed by an intimate and detailed, but brief, inspection of my cunt and asshole. A couple of quick, but surprising, slaps to my ass helped center me and call my mind back from the hamster-wheel of thoughts and anxieties only to have it caught up in the whirlwind of the physical sensation of the slaps and the sexual excitement they created.