Letter From Shana
By James Pendergrass – Copyright James X. Pendergrass 2012
Hello,
My name is Shana. I'm a 32-year-old, happily married suburban woman. This is the story of how my marriage came to be the way it is.
Let's start with the basics. I come from an upper middle class family. I'm white, hold a master's degree, and am a marketing director at a software company. I like to read books, go shopping, and eat at good restaurants. I exercise regularly and eat a well-rounded diet. I don't touch red meat.
I don't think I'm particularly beautiful but I'm comfortable with my body. I used to think I was short at 5'4" and 115 pounds, but I no longer feel the least bit short. My body and my mind have proven more than adequate. Nowadays, I enjoy the fact that I'm much smaller physically than my husband, Rick, but that I have complete physical and psychological control over him.
Let's start at the beginning. I met Rick at a bar six years ago. He's a year older than I am, so our ages and experiences were relatively similar. He was full of bravado, he spoke fast, and he made me laugh. Even in those earlier days, I could see Rick had a certain kindness about him. In time, he began to change, as his male ego got the better of him.
When we first met, I was "typical" in the sense that I had a vanilla sex life. I always enjoyed "regular" intercourse, although nowadays it doesn't touch the type of sexual pleasure and satisfaction I achieve on a regular basis. Back when we used to have intercourse, sometimes I would come, although usually I wouldn't. Rick was okay in bed, a good-looking guy, polite and had a solid education with a decent job. We were married two years after we met.
Our relationship began to go south during the first year we were married. Rick became less interested in sex. We spent less time together. Much of the problem was related to the success gap at our jobs. I was promoted early and often, while Rick's career began to stall. My salary soon doubled his and whenever the topic of career came up among friends, Rick would get passive-aggressive. One night, at a dinner party he said, "Shana's boss sure has the hots for her.," implying that was the only reason my career was more successful than his was. We had a nasty fight on the drive home that night. It was a ridiculous comment.
One night, I was doing some things on the computer late at night on-line and I found a hidden folder filled with all this pornography. I wasn't overly surprised that Rick masturbated when I was not around, but some of the material was chauvinistic and degrading toward women. Other material featured clothed women abusing naked men. You think that would have awakened me to the possibilities, but I was in a negative frame of mind. I no longer felt proud of the man I had married. When I confronted Rick about it, he criticized me for not "spreading my legs often enough" and snooping into his private folders. A horrible fight ensued and we almost separated that very evening.
Things became very chilly between us. Our marriage felt like a sinking ship to me. And that's when an important new girlfriend came into my life at the perfect time. Michelle was a highly successful associate at a downtown law firm. We met through a mutual friend who found out we worked in the same building. We first started doing aerobics together early in the morning and soon after that we started meeting regularly for lunch. We were the same age. We both married guys a year older than us. We both had strong careers, but Michelle seemed happier than I did.
One day, at lunch I broke down when speaking to Michelle about my marriage. Before I had a chance to regain my composure, Michelle reached across the table and took my arm. "Shana, I'm so glad you were willing to talk to me about this. I seriously think I might be able to solve all your problems, and make your life great."
When I asked her to tell me more, she said the two words that would change my life: "Male chastity." Initially I was taken aback. I feared my friend was this weird kinkster, but as she began to speak so glowingly and confidently about her marriage, I quickly dropped all my insecurities. By the end of the conversation, we were both smiling. "I had a feeling a woman like you would be interested," I remember Michelle concluding. "You're quite feminine, but you give off a subtle dominant vibe."
If you're reading this letter, chances are you know all about male chastity, so I'll spare you the rudimentary details. What I will tell you is that I was immediately drawn to the idea of bringing this into my own marriage. It was as if the entire thing clicked. You have to understand, Michelle is very convincing, and the way she presented it to me made me realize how perfect it would be for my own life. I liked the idea of making the rules and I thought (rightfully so, as it turned out) that I would enjoy the mental aspects of bending my husband to my will. I think I knew instinctively that I was capable of employing the proper techniques on Rick and gaining the permanent upper hand on our relationship. I know some women run for the door when introduced to the male chastity lifestyle, but not me. At no point did I feel the least bit worried that male chastity was mean, or unfair to the male. For one, life wasn't meant to be fair. Putting aside the issue of fairness, was this something my husband could potentially benefit from? In all seriousness, I believed right away that male chastity was the best course of action for me (especially me), for Rick, and for our marriage.
I soon began looking into websites Michelle recommended to me. Michelle had a style that I identified with. She had no interest in leather, whips, chains, or over-the-top style female domination that would turn her husband Paul into a sissy or a wimp. At the same time, Michelle had a steadfast belief in honest-to-goodness female superiority. She was convinced marriages should be female-led, with the husband's sole focus on serving and obeying the wife. The sites I visited featured intelligent women, and men, who wrote about the incredible benefits of a female-led marriage built around male chastity.
A visit to Michelle's place revealed just how great her life was. We sat and sipped wine while Paul served our every need. Most of the time he wore boxer briefs, but at one point Michelle had him lower his underpants. I had seen photos of chastised penises on-line, but seeing it in person was a revelation. Michelle had chosen a clear plastic sheath, which left nothing to the imagination. I remember being delighted at how small the sheath was, and how truly contained Paul was. The sheath forced him to remain so flaccid, and unthreatening, that his scrotum, appropriately swollen with pent-up semen, dwarfed his penis. Some women would have been grossed out, but not this woman. I especially liked how embarrassed and, well, chastised Paul's face looked. Michelle demonstrated his confinement by casually picking up his incarcerated penis and dropping it back down against his testicles, where it came to rest without the slightest hint of protest or rebellion. What a symbolic moment that was. I could not contain my laughter. You have to understand, I didn't want Paul to feel badly about his situation; it's just that I found humor in the lewd spectacle. I also felt genuine joy at the implications of what I was witnessing. Michelle laughed along with me and pinched Paul's red cheek. "See how he blushes, Shana? But he loves his new life. Don't you, Paul?"
"Yes, Miss," Paul said, not looking like he loved anything about his situation at that moment.
Michelle treated Paul more like her prized pupil than her husband, which is to say with plenty of love, but also as the clear authority figure in the relationship. Not only that but she took an aloof, arrogant tone with him. I soon learned that this attitude is crucial in helping establish a sense of superiority in the relationship. Michelle explained it best: "Men want and need an authority figure in their lives, Shana. They won't ask for it, at least not initially, but they learn to crave it."
I find it interesting how women have been so focused on equality when equality creates all kinds of problems for a marriage. Someone needs to be the leader, the decision-maker, and the final authority, and that someone should absolutely be the woman. Women like Michelle and me were meant to take the lead. It's the way we were built.
Introducing chastity to Rick's life was quite challenging, but it was the type of challenge I embraced. This probably sounds egotistical, but when I put my mind to something I've always had a great deal of success. Also, Rick was ripe for the plucking. In retrospect, I should have seen the signs. The pornographic imagery Rick used to masturbate to featured, in some cases, acts of female dominance. And the truth is, even before I took him in hand, I always won when Rick and I argued. It had been a theme since our early days. Rick used to joke about it before things got chilly between us. I can assure you he doesn't joke about it anymore.
You know how this story goes, so I'll spare you too many details. It's an understatement to say Rick was hesitant when I suggested our marriage should be based on female (my) authority. I showed him a few articles that discussed how a female-led, chaste-male marriage led to fantastic results for both people in the marriage. I was able to coax him along by holding the promise of the best sexual pleasure of his life, dangling that irresistible carrot a few inches in front of him, using my sexuality to tease him, coerce him, and mold him into something incredibly useful. Useful is a harsh word; I want to emphasize that I love my husband and love the way he has fallen into line, despite numerous efforts from his male ego to extricate himself from the situation.
Look at it this way: Rick was married to a highly successful, attractive woman, and it wasn't going to get any better for him. While I have no doubts his mind wrestled with the implications of my demands, he ultimately concluded that it was best to fall in line. That makes the process sound much simpler than it actually was though.
I based the initial strategy on the idea that Rick always loved when I provided him with manual stimulation. So when I began to regularly tease and fondle his penis, aided by the best on-line advice and my wonderful friend Michelle, Rick had little chance to resist. I like the fact that I was the aggressor and that I was essentially sexually assaulting Rick. It felt like a small measure of payback for all the unwanted sexual assaults women have dealt with from men. Unlike all the women who were assaulted against their will, Rick readily went along with the new attention he was receiving; though he didn't realize the implications were so far reaching, no pun intended, until it was too late.
