Dear Shoeblossom,
I really enjoyed taping this freaky convo I had with my tight-ass adopted pearly white brother...hope you like it too!
*
Ventura Metcalfe
"It feels so good when you play with my balls, Ventura."
"You are such a little perv, Wynton, just so..."
"I fixed it so you could quit the Bureau of Vital Statistics and become a breeder of Irish Setters!"
"I didn't say you weren't generous."
"You...you're not going to rub wintergreen on my cock again, are you?"
"Jesus. You'll never forget that, will you? If Mom and I hadn't been tough on you, Wynt, you never would have finished your graduate degree."
"Oooh, thanks. You're playing with, yes, right under the glans."
"Well, I'm not letting you finish. I didn't like your boss's reports. He says you are lazy."
"Wow. I remember being twenty-three years old, and my nineteen year old sister would go over my dissertation and then put my dick in the black steel box."
"That's because you were constantly diddling yourself. There was nothing Mom or I could do. We thought we could shame you by making you wear garters and knee socks and serving your female classmates tea..."
"That was so..."
"It was good! I was telling the girls how you didn't want to ask them out, or work hard in class because you were constantly beating your meat and going through my laundry hamper."
"And then they watched as Mom gave me the goddamned enema..."
"But see, after that, they teased you until you, ragging you about your creepy behavior, and you buckled down and finished your degree!"
"Oh...why do you have the steel wool there. There are no dishes in my bedroom."
"Well, I thought I might rub it a bit under your pee-pee to get you to be more, shall we say, dedicated to working harder."
"P-please don't do that, Ventura. I-I love you, Venti. You're the neatest little sis."
"Oh yeah, I know. I love you too, Bro. But I love you enough to teach you to dedicate your life to hard work."
"Oh, what are you doing? Ooow!"
"I'm just attaching a little tiny one pound weight to your nipples, see?"
"Why, oh why..."
"Why not? Remember when Mother found your disgusting AC/DC Back in Black album, she heard the "HighWay to Hell" song...and authorized me to put rat traps on your nipples, those big Victor Rat-Traps..."
"God, please, why remind me, Ventura..."
"Because you're still a perverted, undisciplined and profane idler, Wynton. It's a good goddamned thing that you are good with numbers, or we wouldn't be rich now."
"I-I try to provide for you, you are living your dream with the puppy-raising."
"Sure, because without your career we'd all be fucked. You'd still be a longhaired stoner, smoking PCP on your waterbed. Mom let it go until you finished up at Risdon State, but she knew your graduate work would be much harder."
"But she was so..."
"So, what? It wasn't all you, you know. Remember how Mom made me shave Hannon's head after Mom got so mad that Han was staring in the mirror too much?"
"Funny, Mom never bothered you, though, Ventura."