I lie down on the mattress, well as best I can and the tears come. Slowly at first and then in great waves. My mind reels with memories of how this has happened, how did we come to this place, this is all my fault. He didn't want this. He was so kind and gentle. I knew there was darkness in him, but he hid it, I told him it was ok, I told him he needed to be whole. I was the one that brought this into our lives, this was true. Then it was me that backed down, it was me that faltered. Everything I read made it seem so easy. I thought being a submissive would be wonderful and I was so sure that I could not only play like this but that it was my true nature. Until it wasn't fun, until I wasn't "in the mood". He was right, I had spent not days, not weeks, but years needling him. Took him to events, sent him blogs to explore, read him stories, and told him fantasies. Any of those times I could have stopped, but no. I kept on.
I cried, full of so much failure. Look at me, my body was a wreck; I had let myself go so much. Now he wanted all this and I wouldn't be caught dead in any kind of BDSM getup at any sort of public event, no way no how! I was a failure personally. Now he wanted this and even in our own home so much of the time I was "just not into it". I also wondered, was he really serious? Was he going to really keep me down here? So many questions, so much pain, I wept until I slept.
I awoke to a completely darkened room, the candle had gone out. I had no idea if it was morning or still night. I tried to sit but the corset & the plug were not allowing me to move right so I had to sort of do a sideways wiggle to find my way up to a standing position. I actually wanted to find my way to the treadmill and get started but realized I had no light with which to see the thing so I simply went back down to my knees and knelt; facing what I thought was the door. I waited there for what seemed an eternity.
I was startled to hear the door open in the light I could see him set down a bucket and a almost imperceptible smile crossed his face for only a moment.
"Turn around" he instructed.
I attempted to stand and only fell over, humiliated again I just cried. I regained myself and stood turning to face the darkness again.
"bend over"
I did, and felt him remove the tail from my ass.
"You may relieve yourself"
I did in the bucket and he quickly removed it. I cried.
He lit a single candle and placed it on the shelf in the room.
"You now know you have only got a limited amount of time when the light is available to you. You have tasks to complete. There is water in the fridge for you to drink and I will return when it is time for you to eliminate, you will be completely reliant on me, Shaundra."
The door shut and I was completely alone again. I began my regimen. I climbed up on the treadmill and began to walk. It was about all I could do at first. That first day was the most difficult of my life. I cycled between all of my emotions and I took them out on that machine. When I cried I walked. When I was angry I ran or walked up hill as hard as I could. Sometimes I was ok, but those were fleeting moments that day. I stayed on that machine determined to memorize all its settings and nuances so I wouldn't have to stop when the candle burned out. I couldn't bear the solitude with nothing to do. I had no idea I could do 50 miles on a treadmill, much less in the course of one day, but I did that day. I was afraid if I dallied and he really stuck to his rules, I would become too weak before I was able to eat. I think it was a day, It's truly hard to say but I guessed by his trips to visit me with the bucket that It was about a day. As promised, when I completed my mileage, I was met with what can only be described as the best steamed broccoli ever created.
Over the next few days he did bring me more information, he explained to me that he had called my employer and that I no longer needed to worry about going to work. He explained that I would never go to work again. My focus was now to be directed to him and only to his needs. This of course brought on an outburst that gained me more welts and more tears and no less time in the basement. He did also explain that his goal was to get me out of the basement and that it was entirely up to me when that would happen, again another outburst and more welts. I did eventually earn my pillow, a sheet set and even a blanket. My food began was a variety of vegetables with the occasional roasted chicken breast. My body was also feeling very different, He had tightened my corset several times but never a compliment was made.
Finally the morning arrived that he opened the door to the my room and as I scooted immediately to my knees and looked to the floor, legs spread as he had taught me. He bent down and took my chin in his hand. He pulled my head up so that I was able to look into his clear blue eyes and he spoke to me.
"I am going to lead you upstairs now, only for a brief spell, but my dear, you need to get cleaned up."
This was the kindest he had been, and the silk in his voice brought me to tears.
He unlocked my chain from the wall and coiled it around his hand as he led began to lead me out of the room. Up the stairs we went and I followed him into the bathroom. He drew the water and shut the door behind us locking it as he did so. He began to remove my corset and it dropped to the floor where he picked it up and dropped it into the waste basket. He then pulled me to him by the chain around my neck and pulled me up so that I was standing up on my toes and looked at me very closely.
"you will not run, shout, or in any way try to escape, do you understand?"
"Yes, Sir, I understand, Sir"