Learning to Let Go

Learning to Let Go is an 8 part continuous series; so if you were naughty and skipped ahead I urge you to start at the beginning or the following may make little sense.

Welcome to Part 3.

*****

2005

Nikki's house did not seem so different to all the others in the street except that it was larger, and had a lovely wooden door rather than a plastic one. I stood looking at it for a while under the weight of all sorts of photography equipment. To this day I have no idea for my hesitation other than my uncertainty of where this was going. I didn't know if this was going to be strictly taking pictures; I fancied Nikki and I was convinced she felt more for me than just friendship, but also, I was compelled to not try to take advantage of the situation. There's enough guys using the pretence of photography to try and fuck girls, and I really did not want to be associated with that. Word would quickly get around and that would put pay to getting people to model for me.

Tapping the brass knocker lightly on the door I stood back to wait and see how this would pan out. I planned keep my options open and not commit to anything without a damn good reason. If I concentrated on taking the pictures then I could not be accused of pushing my luck, and I vowed not to be an idiot about the situation. It was just as likely that I just didn't have the confidence to deal with a girl this experienced but I didn't like to admit it - even to myself.

The door opened a crack and Nikki peeked an eye out to make sure it was me and then quickly took the chain off the door to let me in. I had to walk through sideways because of the gear slung over my shoulder and she stood to one side so I faced her briefly, as I drew level she stood on tip toe and kissed me on the check.

"Hi Yoshi. I so pleased you could come." I might've reacted better if Nikki wasn't wearing a loose fitting nightgown. It was black silk, with a sash, and her pale skin contrasted against it strongly. I could look down the gap in it to see almost all of her breasts.

"Hey Nikki, it's my pleasure." I stammered this out and felt clumsy about it; flustered, and the pressure was going to start to creep up almost instantly.

"So, what about you just drop your gear down and we have a drink just to chill out. Then I'll show you around and maybe you can get some ideas - I mean, I have ideas but I want your input also."

"Sounds good. What're we drinking?" Placing my light stands and diffusers down I gingerly laid my camera bag on top of them. Two days ago I'd crashed out on a brand new lens and I was still worried about damaging it. I knew there was no point being so protective about equipment because if you didn't use it then why buy it?

"You like JD don't you?" I thought it a bit early - I had to be sober enough to take pictures after all. On the other hand maybe it'd help with camera shake.

"Sure, plenty of ice and a splash of coke if you have any?"

"I know." She padded away around a corner into her kitchen which wasn't a separate room from the large living room I stood in. The carpet just ended and a stone tile floor started. It was nice and spacious; but the geek in me wondered how practical it would be cooking something like a steak and smoking your living room out at the same time. Nikki was tinkling ice into a tumbler and I found the sound, the whole activity quite soothing. I leaned against a giant box, like a stage box that used to be kept in the drama room when I was at school. It wasn't quite the same height as a bar but it was close enough. Nikki put the glass down in front of me and gave me a big smile. I smiled back and took a sip of the whiskey and coke.

"I've had to model for stuff before." She said to me as she swirled her own drink, the same as mine, around in her glass. "We have to do the nude stuff first."

"We do?"

"Yeah because that way you don't get the clothes imprints on your skin. We'll work backwards putting clothes on me." I laughed.

"That

is

fucking kinky - never tried to put clothes

on

a girl before." Nikki gave me a look I couldn't read.

"Some of the clothes I want to wear are very... restrictive. Corsets for example." She was looking for me to flinch. I don't think I did.

"But you want to do naked first?"

"Something arty. Some sort of black and white high contrast shot."

"That could work. Are you going to be comfortable naked? Maybe you'd like to talk more and get relaxed?" She laughed, and very casually slipped off her robe.

"You're sweet Yoshi, but I'm very used to being naked in front of men." However I

was not

used to girls just getting there kit off bold as brass. She stood there, one arm folded beneath her breasts while the other held the glass up to her lips. She was surprisingly curvy - I think her not wearing a bra emphasized this, or maybe it was because I could only see the very tops of her hips where I stood; the box obscuring the view to her lower half. I started to get hard. I couldn't help it and I did try to think of other things beyond fucking her. Nikki was just standing looking right at me and I had no doubt at all she was seducing me. I was going to let her.

Walking back to my camera gear I tried to put some sort of plan together. I'm sure everyone likes to think they are the ones in charge of a situation, and normally I was person. However, today was a different matter entirely and I wasn't all that sure if I like it. I felt sort of dizzy with lust and anticipation, and I knew damn well I'd struggle to take a decent photo. I went through the checklist of preparing my camera as I walked more into the middle of the room; eyes on the LCD screen of my Nikon. When I looked over Nikki hadn't moved except for turning her head towards me. But from this angle I could see into the box.

"

Jesus fucking Christ!

" The box front was a barred door, and inside the box, curled up like some sort of alien exhibit was a person clad head to toe in PVC. "

What the fuck is he doing in there?!

"

"He's having some time out. He's been naughty." My head was desperately trying to absorb what was going on. The scene was absolutely fucking surreal; a naked girl drinking whiskey and coke leaning up against what I guess you'd call a cage. In the cage was - again an assumption - a "gimp". I heard all the jokes about them, but here I was looking at one in real life. It didn't seem real at all. "Don't worry" she continued "he can't see or hear anything."

"And how is that punishment kinky? Sounds more like general torture to me?" This might sound like a strange reaction, but I lifted my camera up and snapped off several shots. It was the only thing that felt normal and comfortable. Maybe subconsciously the camera acted like a barrier between me and what was in front of me. As if I was looking at them through a TV or something. The gimp hadn't moved, but Nikki had arched her arse out a little (being sideways on to me proved an awesome shot) and I found my interest beginning to charge as the shock wore off.

"This is going to confuse you Yoshi, but he likes it. He's incredibly turned on right now." She put her glass down on the top of the cage and walked around to the front of it and very intentionally squatted down on her haunches. I was immediately snapping off pictures, wishing I had sorted my flash out so that I could bounce some light off the floor and fill the shadows under her, as she reached into the cage. There was a long low moan, and the guys started to thrash about weirdly until I realised he was cuffed at his wrists and ankles. "He's hard as fuck." Nikki said. "Wouldn't surprise me if he was about to cum - good job I stopped really."

I tried to get a batter angle but it was just too damn dark to bring out any details of what was happening. Nikki stood up and leaned back against the cage so her breasts stood out proudly. The light was pretty soft from the blinds and lit her nicely from one side. She let her head tip backwards and the pose was keenly erotic. She absolutely knew what she was doing; if that was in terms of modelling or trying to turn me on I couldn't say but I kept on hitting the shutter button all the same. Her hands cupped underneath each breasts and I could see her thumbs just brushing across her nipples. She dropped her head down and looked into the lens.

"Getting anything good, Yoshi?"

"Not as good as I'd like."

"Maybe we should go upstairs?" I let her lead the way and I was so tempted to just grab a hold of her arse. It was, literally, inches from my face. I could see her pussy clearly as it periodically came into view while she climbed the stairs. I'm quite sure she was accentuating this, but I had no idea how. She reached the top but stopped with one foot a step higher than the other and looked over her shoulder at me. I couldn't help at looking straight at her cunt and she pushed it out a little by arching her back slightly.

"See anything you like the look of now?" She was toying with me and I had had enough; my empty hand reached up and I used my thumb to press between her soft skin. She was wet and rammed her hips back in a way that brook no argument as to her feelings and I rapidly pumped my thumb in and out of her listening to the wet sounds of her pussy with each penetration.

"You're more turned on than I am." I said, really more to myself as an observation than as part of a conversation.

"I've wanted to have fun with you for a while." She said, pulling herself from me. "And now I'm going to." I followed her up quickly, expecting a bedroom but I couldn't have been more wrong. The room was large, taking up the entire top floor. There were two huge skylights in the roof that flooded light down onto a scene that gave me pause for thought. It was filled with different types of restraints; a cross, a chair, a bench, stocks; all made from a very light timber and all beautifully crafted. Everything was upholstered in tan leather where padding seemed appropriate. On each wall were a variety of hooks and shelves, and on them was every kind of kinky device I could name and twice as many again that I couldn't. From basic paddles to what looked like complicated medical equipment, everything looked pristine. Everything looked ready to be used.

"Welcome to my dungeon. I hope we can find something you enjoy here." I wasn't so sure but played along, stalling for time.

"And what do you think you will use Nikki?" She laughed, stepping forward and grasping my cock through my jeans, squeezing hard, before whispering.

"I'm going to use you, Yoshi. In every way I can think of."

2009

Jen and I decided that we'd go to London for our first "date". We'd met at the pool a couple of times and I had put in an honest attempt to help her swim more efficiently. She had seen some benefits and it was nice - even though this was clearly a front just to spend time together - that she seemed to care about her performance. We had discussed her progress while sitting in a café at the swimming pool but it had rolled on into other topics, and we found that we got on incredibly well. I had purely by chance noticed a flyer for a new attraction at the British Museum and asked on a whim if she fancied going. I meant it as a joke but she snapped up the idea almost instantly and the Saturday after I found myself sitting opposite her on a train bound for the city.

"So where do you come from, Yoshi? You have a really strange accent - I can't place it at all." She was leaning back in her seat, eyes flicking between me and the scenery outside. It was amazing just how comfortable we were with each other.

"Originally I come from a little village in rural Norfolk that you'd have never heard of - it's not too far away from Norwich."

"A country bumkin then?" She grinned at me, waiting to see if I took the comment in good jest.

"So what about you?" I said not rising to the bait.

"London."

"Wow, we're chalk and cheese then."

"Maybe. I think you've been around a bit though." I laughed.

"I look a little weathered then? Thanks!" Jen fixed me with a curious stare and then looked away. Whatever she was thinking was clearly a secret I was not going to be let in on; but she did have the smallest grin at the corner of her mouth. The train rattled across a bridge over the Thames and we both started to collect up our belongings.

Victoria station was hectic and I am really not geared up to cope well with crowds of people. Jen, on the other hand, seemed to be in her element; sauntering towards the underground, easily weaving through the people rushing past. She wasn't dressed how I thought she would be. I had no idea what I had expected, but basically something a little more formal. Instead she was wearing boot cut jeans - although they were damn tight at on her arse - some low heeled black ankle boots, a white vest top with a pretend leather biker jacket. She looked fucking hot, but made me feel a little weird about wearing black trousers and shirt under a leather suit jacket. I wasn't worried about being over dressed, but maybe didn't want to look like I was trying too hard.

I followed Jen to the underground platform and we had to run to catch a train that was about to leave. We jumped in as the doors were closing laughing to each other. There hadn't been time to pick a carriage and the one we were in was packed; forcing us to stand very close to each other.

Very close

. If we turned our heads at the same time we could kiss. The tension was building in me; and as the carriage lurched through the tunnel we would casually bump together until our bodies were pressed against the length of the others. By some unspoken agreement we remained there, in silence the whole journey, with the world happening around us.

By the time we got off at Holborn I was

incredibly

turned on. We walked into the sunshine holding hands. I couldn't say when that had happened; sometime while we were under the streets of London, but it felt so good to be able to touch her. Of course, I wanted more. God I needed to kiss her so much; it sounds cheesy as fuck but my heart really did feel at bursting point. I was walking on air or head in the clouds, or whatever shit they say in the films to describe that moment when two people

know

they're meant for each other. In the back of my head I'm sure all of these thoughts were being processed, however, top of the list was getting into her jeans.

I suggested we check in our jackets at the lobby under the pretence of comfort in the museum; but really I just wanted to have better access to her body, and I used every opportunity to sneak my hand onto her waist as I "guided" her from one exhibit to the next. It was all a complete façade; I couldn't give a shit about all the objects that would normally set my imagination on fire being solely focussed on Jen. The Egyptian exhibit came and went pretty quickly as it was always packed, but the number of people eased off as we hit Persia and by the time we got to the Grecian section there was only a handful of people wandering around. No one was looking at us thinking we were on our first date, or that we technically hadn't escalated to being a couple. I'm sure from the outside looking in everything about our body language would have suggested that was the case, and perhaps it had already happened; Jen and I just not having acknowledged it ourselves.

I found myself standing looking at a marble statue of a guy on a horse; I wasn't sure I liked it all that much, but was using it as an opportunity to figure out when would be a good time to try and kiss Jen. We had be so close to it so many times already the desire in my soul to move this on was getting unbearable. I didn't want to seem too forward, but Christ, it was clear to me that she wanted it as much as I. The really surprising thing was that I found it such a dilemma; normally I had no qualms about pushing my luck and seeing what happened. Normally I had no intention of appearing to be a "gentleman". Normally, I realised, I didn't care this much about the girl; and somewhere at the very back of my mind - behind all the clouds of lust - I had this idea Jen might be more than just a bit of fun.

It was then I felt her take hands hold my waist; I'd left her looking at something else and now she had come back to me. This had already happened quite a few times and I put my hands on top of hers; which was an odd feeling because it seemed like I should be doing that to her - that this was back to front. I wasn't going to break away, I didn't reject it out of hand or anything; the sensation was amazing, and I could have stayed like that for ages. In fact, that's what I was doing, just waiting for her to pull her hands away from me, content for the contact for as long as I could have it. But she didn't pull away. Instead, she kissed me squarely on the back of my neck.

It came as such a surprise that she would do this that I had spun around to face her before any thoughts had formed in my head. Jen stood there looking at me with an expressing somewhere between cheeky and confused.

"I'm sorry... I don't really know why I did that." Before she could say anymore I had pulled her against me and we kissed. There was no timidity to it, like a regular first kiss, this was a completely uninhibited kiss. It burned with passion all the way through me and Jen responded with equal lust that pushed my desire for her higher still. My hands were on her arse almost lifting her off her feet and our tongues slipped and pushed together in the most lurid way possible. Her hands were in my cropped hair, pulling my head down to hers as our breathing got harder, and harder, and she started to moan into our kiss.

We broke apart, staring into each other's eyes with the shock of how intense it had been and then the situation started to permeate back into our reality; we were in the middle of a museum with people all around, quite obviously trying to ignore what we were doing. Jen's face cracked into a mischievous grin as she looked around and I started to giggle. I tugged at her white vest top and she fell back into my arms; we kissed again, but much more gently; it's hard to kiss passionately when you're both smiling.

"You're so hot." I whispered in her ear as we hugged in the comfort of

knowing

that how we felt was reciprocated in the other, that there was no need to fear rejection, and nothing but eagerness for what was to come.

"Come on, Yoshi, there's still loads to see." She led me by the hand to see what the Romans had left behind thousands of years ago and then onwards throughout distant lands and times. Along the way we snatched kisses, occasionally getting very out of hand until I couldn't take any more and found a secluded spot behind a huge poster in one of the stairwells. My hands were all over her; one pushed up inside her top and underneath her bra and the other one jammed all the way down the back of her jeans. It was such a tight squeeze it hurt but I couldn't care less. I just wanted to feel her wetness on my fingers while we lost ourselves in a frantic embrace that we both knew would not be satisfying, but it was good as we could get in this public space.

"Stop.

Oh god

, Yoshi

, stop!

" She pushed me off and I came back to my senses a little.

"Are you ok?" She looked flustered as hell.

"I need to go to the ladies and sort myself out." Jen actually blushed as she said this and shot me a coy little look which stirred all sorts of emotions within me. "When I come out I think we should go somewhere to eat. I'm hungry."

"I could tell." She just laughed and walked away.

We ended up in a Pizza Hut. It turns out Jen had a weakness for probably the most unhealthy food on the planet and I could not be bothered to argue. We really shouldn't have gone there because by this stage our desire for each other was well out of control. We sat in a booth essentially making out in front of the other customers like a pair of teenagers. I barely touched my food; I was too horny and more than happy to turn my attention to getting to know Jen's body instead. I spent most of the time with my hand between her legs keeping a firm pressure on her pussy. Every now and then I felt her hips respond, pushing back on my hand, always wanting more. It turned me on to the point of discomfort.