Learning to Let Go

Learning to Let Go is an 8 part continuous series; so if you were naughty and skipped ahead I urge you to start at the beginning or the following may make little sense.

Welcome to Part 2.

*****

2010

I heard Jen fitting the key into the Yale lock and felt my heartrate jump. Since she'd last texted I'd spent part of the time me considering what I was going to do to her, and the rest desperately trying to calm myself down. For this to work I had to be in control and master my own desires well before I got anywhere near hers. I knew it was going to be as much a challenge for me as it was for her.

She came into the living room somewhat hesitantly and just set her gym bag down next to her feet right in the middle of the floor. I really had no idea what sort of mood she was in; I'd never seen her so unsure of herself. I sat looking at her gathering what must've been courage to move this forward. Part of me wanted to make it easy for her; to take her by the hand and lead her down the path she wanted to try. But I wanted her to initiate this. This was her call and only afterwards would I assume control. Right now I needed to hear it from her and maybe see how much conviction was there. If she just liked the idea of a quick spanking then fair enough; if she was aiming to go further then she really would need to be sure.

She set her jaw as I'd seen her do countless times before doing a particularly hard floor set or vault. I knew she relished testing her will against her fear and that was why I was so keen to make this happen. She would love it once she learnt what the rules really were. The hard part was taking the first step.

"So... how does this work?" She said finally. I could see in her face she was fantastically aroused and as I looked closer I could see she was trembling slightly. I needed to relax as well, but I was acutely aware my cock was rock hard. Trying to resist the temptation of just fucking her there and then was rapidly looking less and less likely.

I should've cum before she got home

.

"Jen," I began "do you really want to try this sort of thing? There's a big difference between a little rough sex and what the girls in the photos were having done to them." Her eyes went big at this.

"You're going to hurt me

that

much?" And the panic was clear in her tone.

"I'm not going to hurt you at all. The difference is going to be mental. If you want your arse spanked that'll be a sensation, a physical one mainly but you will feel dominated. But what I want to do is beyond that. I want to get into your head Jen. It'll be much more intense - but it will also be that much harder for you to deal with."

"You want me to choose?"

"Yes" She looked away, not wanting to meet my eyes and then sharply back again.

"This is about trust isn't it?" I smiled but I can't say it was entirely genuine. This felt like a gamble. It's one thing to say you trust someone, to trust your partner. It's a little different when you ask them to prove it.

"This is about what you want me to do to you, and you trusting me that, no matter what, I have your desires as my key motivation." She blushed and in that moment I knew she had been thinking some very kinky things indeed. I stood and walked over to her and took her hands in mine. "This will be a huge turn on for me, Jen. I'm really going to enjoy you. But my pleasure is to please you - by pushing you to please me in ways that will be a challenge to you." She shook her head.

"That sounds complicated."

"It is and it isn't. Your whole life has been about control. You're one of the most disciplined people I've ever met; it's what I love about you and it's what turns me on about you. You're determined, you're in control, but you like the feeling of not having that because it feels dangerous. It feels risky, and you get off on that."

"I'm not sure that makes sense." She looked even less sure and obviously I didn't get that right. So I tried again.

"It's like being on a rollercoaster. You can't control it, it takes you wherever it will and you just have to go with it, and it's exhilarating. You have the choice to get on it, but once there you have no control."

"Ok, that's better." Then she said "But no matter what happens you know it's really safe and you won't get hurt?" I pulled her to me and kissed her on the top of her head.

"You have to trust that I'm safe even when it seems like I'm scary."

"And I'll enjoy the ride?" I laughed and she beamed up at me before pushing me away. "So what do you want me to do?" She'd already made up her mind.

"I want you to get ready to go into town" She did a double-take as if she had misheard me.

"We're going into town?"

"Yes."

"What the hell are you planning?"

"You'll see. But when you come back downstairs the scene will have started and you will behave like my sub. Do you think you know what I am expecting?" She swallowed.

"I guess. I have to do whatever you ask me to?"

"Well done. Now get your arse upstairs. And while you're up there you'd better think of a safe word." She didn't move right away, the words still tumbling through her mind. Then she nodded her head - more to herself - and ran lightly up the stairs.

About half an hour later there was the distinct sound of Jen's high heels walking across the landing and I stood to welcome her downstairs. She was dressed very similarly to a secretary; black skirt and white blouse which was well fitted. Jen was always conscious of having small breasts, but I was crazy about them because they were so damn pert all the time. She could get away without wearing a bra if she wanted, but I had laid her favourite out on her bed along with the other clothes she was wearing. No, it wasn't the bra I had decided to miss out.

"I'm going to make an assumption that not choosing me any panties, and then hiding them all up means I'm not allowed to wear any?" She eyed me coolly, a little grimly, in fact. Dropping my gaze to her skirt I realised I'd accidentally picked a shorter one than I had intended; black skirts all look the same hanging up it turns out. I decided to just persevere because I didn't want to give her the message I'd back track on anything.

"I like knowing I can touch you whenever I choose." I stepped close and ran my hand up her leg very slowly. Her breath caught as I reached the top but I pulled my hand away before touching her intimately. She gave me a confused and disappointed look as I had never treated her this way before. "Patience, Jennifer." I said.

"

You know I hate that!

" She snapped back at me and it was true, I knew she hated my using her full name.

"I'm going to call you what the fuck I like. Now, because you're new to this, I'll let that slide, but next time you had better think before you speak or you

will

suffer the consequences." She almost stood to attention as I said it straight into her face. I gave her the serious deadpan tone I give to recruits when I want them to realise they are at the limit of my patience. She didn't make eye contact; it's funny how people automatically avert their gaze when you really get into their space. Still looking down at the floor she said in a quiet voice.

"What should I call you? Sir? Master?" I inwardly smiled. Having been through military training where the game is to avoid getting caught out; the first thing you learn is to never ask anything. It always gets used against you, and that's exactly what I did here.

"I was going to let you call me by my name as I didn't want this to be too hard on you - especially in public. But... seeing as you're so fucking keen to open your mouth and talk to me about it, I guess I'll let you call me Sir." Jen being a clever girl let this information settle even though I could tell she was desperate to ask me more questions. Showing restraint already was a very good sign indeed.

I let her get her handbag from the kitchen and noted just how well she moved. Jen didn't wear heels all that often because she was always in trainers, but she really could walk in them well - probably from years of having to point her toes. She always did that like it was second nature; walk on tip toe. It maybe wasn't too good for her bones or something, but it sure as hell looked hot.

"Jennifer wait." She stopped dead in her tracks. "Bend over and touch the floor." Her body language seemed to turn a little stubborn; hand on her hips, chin tilted upwards.

"Why?"

"That's five minutes you owe me. You should watch your mouth." Before she could process what I'd said she asked.

"Five minutes of what?"

"Five minutes of punishment - which is now ten minutes. You're lucky it's not fifteen for not calling me "Sir"." She remembered herself and tried to apologise but I cut her short. "Shut the fuck up and bend over." She did so instantly this time, palms easily pressing flat to the floor even in heels. I walked around her, admiring her flexibility and her strength. Idly I wondered how long I could keep her like this before her legs started to shake. I squatted down behind her and I could easily smell her arousal before I ducked my head a little lower to look at her pussy lips pressed tightly together. There was clearly a lot of moisture smeared around the tops of her thighs from walking around. It wouldn't take much to crack those lips open with a fingertip and watch her juices ooze down her leg. I really wanted to see that. My mind's eye kept replaying what it would be like, how sexy, how wanton but vulnerable she would be this way. But I didn't want to touch her yet, I didn't want to give her the sensation.

"How much would you like me to lick your pussy right now Jennifer?"

"Yes. Please. Sir."

"It looks

very

tasty Jennifer. It's making my cock ache just from looking at it." Then I said, on a whim. "Why don't you beg me to lick it?" I knew she wouldn't have a problem saying this. Some girls really don't like to beg but I think Jen enjoyed it. It was the next bit I would trip her up on.

"Please would you lick my pussy, Sir? I smiled.

"You haven't got a pussy Jennifer, that's what

nice

girls call it. You're too nasty for that. Look at all of that cream smeared around the tops of your thighs. No, you have a cunt. So why don't you beg me to lick your

cunt

?" I knew she'd struggle with this. She really wasn't that accustomed to regular swear words compared to me and this one always offended her. I could see her starting to tremble at this requirement; it was easy for her not to wear panties but much harder for her to do this. Her thought process was probably trying to work out how to get past the shame to please me and say the words so I would eat her out. She wanted her pussy touched more than anything at that moment. I could hear her panting slightly as she started to say it.

"Please... Sir...

please would you

... Lick my... cunt?" And I could see a little bit of tension leave her body as she stumbled over this word." I laughed.

"No, you were far too fucking slow. Stand up straight." She looked cheated, actually looked horrified at how I had cheated her out of that one small pleasure. "You never did tell me your safe word, Jennifer?"

"Dismount, Sir."

"Hmm good girl. Shall we go?"

2009

Jen and I started to regularly cross paths after that first encounter on my run. At first I caught glimpses of her doing what seemed to me like hill reps; which was madness because what type of person voluntarily does hills reps? In the army it's a punishment, and I was raised in the lowlands; a hill to most people was nigh on a mountain for me. But there she was, up there working away, in sun or rain, with the same level of intensity. That alone blew me away. I figured she must be like a pro runner or something, and I really did admire her efforts. Or, in other words, I had a crush on her.

For a few weeks I had been wondering if it was possible to somehow work out her run patterns so I could, and I hadn't gotten very far with how I would do this, strike up a conversation with her. Aside from her seeming not to have any sort of pattern I could ascertain, she'd have her phones in, so would I, and we'd both be red faced and blowing. Not a good situation to try and chat up a girl, but I knew I would be gutted if I didn't at least have a punt - even if it was a poor one. I didn't properly know what her face looked like because I'd only caught a side on glimpse the once, but her body had me fantasizing about it at an alarming frequency.

Fate, however, lent me a hand and one day I was in the local pool - which was a pretty good one, wasted on the area really as there were only a handful of proper swimmers that used it. I was about half an hour in, so maybe a mile completed, when I noticed a swimmer get into the lane next to me. It was a girl, and she was stunning. Well, her legs and back were, I couldn't see much past the swim hat and goggles on her face; and when you're swimming front crawl you only look sideways when you breathe - so I only got fleeting glances as we swam passed each other. It was more than enough to take my mind off my aching triceps and allow me to attack the next mile in good spirits. She was putting an impressive amount of force into each stroke but it wasn't translating to forward momentum, and her head lifted high with each breath. She was fit and swimming reasonably fast, but I was easily outpacing her; probably using much less effort too due to her inefficiency in the water.

Twenty minutes later and she'd stopped pushing and was just coasting - then broke into a breaststroke, so I figured she was warming down just as I was on my last two hundred meters. By the time I hit the sixty minute marker she was sitting on the side of the pool just watching me. I sprinted the last fifty meters and came to a halt gasping for air next to her legs. I looked up and she looked down, both of us wearing goggles which meant it took a while for me to recognise her

. Holy fuck.

I didn't really know what to say.

"You're actually

very good

in the water aren't you?" She said in a sort of cheeky way that I really didn't know if she was complimenting my swimming or putting down my running. So I went with that.

"I'm a much better swimmer than a runner I can't lie." She laughed.

"You're not so bad at running for a soldier." I wasn't sure if that was good or bad that she'd figured that out. It was an army town and people growing up there knew within seconds if they were talking to a squaddie or not. " But I didn't realise you were into your swimming as well."

"Why would you expect to know that anyway?" I was a bit confused why she'd know

anything

about me at all.

"Oh, people talk. It's a small town." She pushed her goggles up, and I instinctively did the same. I'm not completely sure, but that might've been the moment I fell for Jen. Her eye sockets had deep lines around them where the goggles had been, but it was clear she had beautiful eyes; I thought they were green initially although it may have just been the colour cast of the pool being so blue. But the thing that really got under my skin was how

real

she was - with herself. No makeup, eyes all imprinted by goggles, face still red, and a stupid swim hat to top it all off. But here she was, flirting away like she was dressed up at a bar.

"So what

do

you know about me then?" I asked. She held her hands up in surrender, dragging water out of the pool and splashing droplets over me.

"I work with Danielle."

"

At the community centre?

" I couldn't believe she was even talking to me if that was the case. Daniele was an ex who hated me with a passion because I volunteered to go on tour instead of stay home with her; I sort of assumed she would have been spreading nothing about poison about me. "I, umm... I didn't think she liked me very much?" When she laughed it made my heart soar, it was fucking magical how easy she was to be around.

"Well, Yoshi, you're right there. But you have to remember she talked about you

before

you broke her heart." I felt a little indignant about that.

"Hey, she gave

me

the ultimatum. What? You know me by name? What's yours?" She held out her hand and said.

"I'm Jen. Pleased to meet you." I had to reach up to take it and I really couldn't say the first time we touched was electric because our fingers were both really wrinkly and rough from being submerged for so long. "Do you think you could give me some pointers on how to swim better?"

"Am I getting chatted up here?" I laughed.

"Don't get cocky; I like you but I do want to learn to swim better. You didn't even look like you were trying earlier." I had to squint now as the sun had moved around to a window behind her. She was fucking perfect. I wouldn't say her face was a model's; she was attractive, not distinctive; but her confidence just kept dragging me in, wanting to know her more. Also, because I am a self-confessed pig of a man, her legs were making me think some quite lewd thoughts. I wanted her. A lot.

"It's like many things in life; all about technique." I said. We both grinned at the innuendo and maybe she rolled her eyes a little but I could tell she knew I was just playing. "Why don't you get back in and show me your stroke?" This was getting pretty cheesy now, but fuck it, why not make it obvious that I was after her? She said straight back without batting an eyelid and one eyebrow raised.

"Are you just trying to get me wet?"

I didn't have an answer. She'd beaten me at my own game and she knew it. Sunlight streamed in around her as she pulled her goggles back down before slipping into the water. She surfaced briefly - still grinning at me - and then pushed off the wall and started swimming rapidly down the lane.

My heart went with her.

2010

It made sense for Jen to take her car for the short trip into town. Normally we would walk, but with Jen in her heels it might take the edge of her mood if her feet started to hurt on the way home. Also, I knew I'd be in a rush to get her back.

"Where are we going?" She said before quickly adding "Sir."

"If you park at the library that'll be fine." This was a regular place to park for shopping in the centre of town and there would be plenty of spaces being early evening. We both flipped the shades down in preparation for the low sun and Jen started the engine. The car was baking after sitting in the afternoon heat, and I took the liberty of lowering both our windows. The air itself was warm and I held my hand out into the airflow which helped keep me cool. Jen was concentrating on driving but I could tell she was distracted. Her legs were driving me insane. Every time she pressed the clutch in I would be treated to the sight of her muscles flexing. I let my hand drop down to her leg and she let out a little gasp. Clearly she was keyed up for this. We didn't talk at all during the short journey and the silence was loaded with tension.

As soon as Jen stopped the car I got out to check we would not need to pay while she collected her handbag. She opened the door and swung her gorgeous legs out into the warm hues of the setting sun; my god but she was hot. Somewhere during the short drive she seemed to find her balance and I could see her confidence beginning to bloom again as she casually walked up to me, hitting the key fob on the way. Jen looked at me through her lashes; the sunlight twinkling in her light brown eyes.

"Sir?" She was setting my desires on fire like this. Of its own volition I snaked a hand around her waist which instantly dropped to cup her arse. Her skirt was so short the very ends of my fingers could curl underneath to feel the crease of skin where her arse folded over the top of her thigh. It started to drive me wild and I roughly pulled her against me; kissing her hard as she moaned into my mouth. Automatically she widened her stance to allow further access, and my fingers slipped easily on her on her lubricated skin, encouraging my lust. We were completely out in the open and I didn't care; from the way Jen was working her hips I was sure she didn't care either. I felt her flesh parting for my middle finger and easily entered her making her groan loudly as she broke our kiss.