My first story...comments and criticism appreciated.
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Sitting in class, a Chinese class just like any other, I caught my mind wandering again. Today, our female teacher was conducting the class, while our male teacher sat on the edge of the room, observing.
Mr. Conley, or Hé Laoshi as I usually knew him, was a strange man, kind of quiet. Our female teacher was from China, but Hé Laoshi was American. He was no George Clooney, but he was fairly attractive, and almost six feet tall. He always seemed to be taking in his surroundings, although occasionally he would respond to the class in very amusing ways. And he sometimes went far out of his routine to help one of us out. I found him very likable. I thought he must be around fifty, with his salt and pepper hair. He wore glasses that were like the ones I've seen in pictures of my dad when he was in his thirties.
"Fan Qi" The teacher called my Chinese name. I lost track of the drill we were doing, and told her I wasn't sure of the answer. I could feel Mr. Conley looking at me. Before my daydream I had answered a question with such fluency that I had even surprised myself, and thought he might have been impressed. I was disappointed that I probably disappointed him.
Oh well. I didn't know how a person could get her teacher's attention the right way. It's dangerous, it could be awkward or even dangerous, and I just didn't think I had the moxie for a stunt like that. What's more, there's a specific type of guy I look for. I need him to take charge, and although I thought I could sense my professor's dominant undertone, I knew my senses could very easily be mistaken.
I liked older guys, and I'd always had a fantasy that some professor would take me and dominate me, maybe in his office, or in some deserted classroom. I wanted him to think of me as an innocent little girl, and then learn about my wilder side, all while teaching me how to please and be pleased in the right ways. It was a lot to ask for.
"Fan Qi" he called on me.
"Duibuqi, qing ni zai shuo yibian" I asked him to repeat himself. In Chinese, he told me that he wanted to see me after class.
I told him I'd could meet him in his office after I used the restroom. Those last ten minutes passed by so quickly, I didn't even realize class was just ending. I took a deep breath, my heart was pounding, I was caught a little off-guard. I went to the bathroom, checked my appearance, and headed up the stairs to his office. Our class was in the basement, and his office was on the third floor, so I was a little out of breath after I finished hopping up the stairs.
I knocked on his door, he told me to sit down. My mind spinning a little as I sat down, still trying to slow my heartbeat. My palms were sweating, but I didn't really feel nervous anymore, because his patient look had such a calming effect. What did he want?
"I already sent your recommendation letter for your study abroad this summer."
"Wow, thank you!" I hadn't even asked him for one yet—
"But I wanted to talk to you about your performance in class these last few days. I've noticed that you seem pretty distracted. Has anything happened with you lately? Is everything alright?"
"Oh, no! Everything's been pretty good lately, I'm sorry I've seemed so distracted, I just have had a lot going on, and I just got caught zoning out a few times today." I was touched that he was asking about me. Obviously I didn't want to tell him what was really on my mind. I thanked him for his concern, and told him I would try harder to stay focused, then I took off down the stairs.
With a slow breath to shake off the encounter, I popped in my earbuds and let the sounds of a Talking Heads song carry me to my next class.
----
Saturday night was a blast. I went dancing with my friends, and got a little drunk. I knew I shouldn't have been walking alone, but my friends were going off to a party, and I was fairly certain my ex-boyfriend would be there, so I decided to walk home. It was a nice evening, I was in a great mood, and I thought I was sober enough then that I could still be productive on Sunday.
I walked down the main street, humming to myself as I went. Half a block ahead of me, I saw a few women walk out of a bar and head down the street, the direction I was walking, and then a man. He was walking toward me, and when he came a little closer, I realized it was Mr. Conley! I walked a little taller, trying to walk so that my hips would swing a little more. Then I noticed myself, and laughed a little. I was totally in my own world, when all of the sudden, he was right in front of me. We both stopped walking.
"Laoshi hao" I gave him the proper Chinese greeting for a teacher.
"Fan Qi! What are you doing out so late? Why are you alone?"
"I'm fine, I'm just heading home. What about you?" I was a little drunker than I thought. Moving maybe a little too flirtatiously, I shifted my hips toward him.
"I was just having a drink with some teachers. I'm about to head home. Do you live far from here?"
"A few blocks, what about you?" I was smiling sweetly, trying to suggest more than I was saying, but doing it a little awkwardly.
He looked concerned, "Why don't I walk you to your dorm? Apartment? Where is it?"
I grew a little bolder. Stepping a little closer to him, I touched his arm, and looked up at him. "Why don't I walk you to yours?"
He stopped, his mouth open. Maybe he was shocked, but I didn't want this opportunity to slip away. Before he could refuse my offer, I went farther. I grabbed his belt loop and pulled him toward me. "Maybe you'd like to teach me something else today?" I was shocked by my own words, but I tried to stand still and wait for his answer. My hand slipped down slowly to his crotch. He seemed to be stopping to consider something, and then to my surprise, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the entranceway, tucked away from the main sidewalk.
"You're stepping into a dangerous zone, Ms. Clark. But I'm sensing that you like danger," He covered my mouth and leaned down so he could speak more softly. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and understood why my invitation incited such a brilliant response. "But I'm going to tell you right now, if you want it—if you want me to teach you that is, it's going to be on my terms, and you're going to keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut. I mean it. If I hear one word about this from anyone else, you're going to find it very difficult to continue in this program."
I was shocked. I was excited. Changes in relationships are so strange. They can happen so suddenly. A simple first kiss, for example, can make the fumbling awkwardness of a new relationship smooth out completely. But I was thrilled that something that I could normally only fantasize about seemed to be happening to me right now. But there was no awkwardness in his actions, and he did not kiss me.
"We're going to my office, and you're going to walk a few paces in front of me on the way there. Don't turn around, don't try to look at me-- there will be consequences if you break my rules. Get walking."
So I started moving toward campus. The walk to his office was incredible. It was everything I wanted—I had his attention! I kept thinking of that moment that he went from being my teacher to being more than my teacher. I could tell he was looking at me, into me. He knew there was more to me than my modest clothing and my rather normal student behavior, of that, at least, I was sure. I wanted him to know more of me. I'd kept my sexuality hidden from everyone except just a few guys. Aside from those few people I'd just been a cute girl with bangs who smiled all the time. They had no idea that I could let my hair down, take my clothes off. They didn't know that I could arch my back and growl hungrily for them, or let them tie me up and have their way with me. I could do it all.
The only thing I couldn't do was orgasm. In order to orgasm, I needed vibrations. There just wasn't any other way to do it, and no guy is ever prepared for that, so I either fake it or I focus on his desires, and that's usually enough to just about satisfy me.
We arrived at the building, and I walked up the stairs. I wasn't sure what to expect at this point. This was so strange, but I was so turned on. I just tried to wake myself up to the fact that this was real, really real. There was no one in the building, but the doors to the entranceways were usually kept unlocked. It felt nice to get out of the crisp night air. After climbing the stairs up to his office, we arrived. Mr. Conley unlocked the door and turned on a light.
"Have a seat, Ms. Clark."
"Okay"
"That better be the last time I hear you speak to me without addressing me as 'Sir', understood?"
I was elated. "Yes, sir" He was my type; he wanted to take control. He sat down in his chair across the desk from me. I wondered why he didn't touch me.
"Take off that pathetic little dress of yours, and sit back down. I have a few questions for you."
I stood up and pulled my dress over my head. It was awkward, not really sexy at all, and I sheepishly sat back down, now half naked.
"You seemed to walk fine on the way here. How much have you had to drink tonight?"
"Not very much...I think I had maybe four or five drinks, sir."
"Good, that shouldn't be too much. I don't want you to get sloppy. Drink this, as much as you can." He handed me a bottle of water that he got from his drawer.
"Thank you."
