Comments and criticism appreciated.

*
A beam of sunlight poured into the classroom from the westward-facing window. Noticing the glare from my desk, I caught myself daydreaming again. Our Chinese class had two teachers. One was a woman from China who was working to complete her pedagogy degree. The other was an American,

Mr. Conley, or 'Hé Laoshi' as I usually knew him.
Today, he was just sitting in on our class, observing Zeng Laoshi, and us. He was a strange man, kind of quiet. He always seemed to be taking in his surroundings. Occasionally, when teaching, he would talk to the class in with a playful tone, like he was amused by some joke that had not been spoken aloud. And he sometimes went far out of his way to help one of his students. I found him very likable. I think he must have been around fifty. He had salt and pepper hair, and he wore glasses that were like the ones I've seen in pictures of my dad when he was in his thirties. He was no George Clooney, but he had that kind of handsome look men take on when they get older.
"Fan Qi" The teacher called my Chinese name. I lost track of the drill we were doing, and told her I wasn't sure of the answer. I could feel Mr. Conley looking at me. Before my daydream I had answered a question with such fluency that I had even surprised myself, and thought he might have been impressed. I was disappointed that I probably disappointed him. Oh well.
I didn't know how a person could get her teacher's attention the right way. It could be awkward or even dangerous, and I just didn't think I had the moxie for any big stunts. What's more, there's a specific type of man I was looking for. I needed him to take control somehow, and put me in my place. Mr. Conley had a demeanor that suggested dominance, but that could just be him filling his role as teacher. 
I liked older guys, and I'd always had a fantasy that some professor would take me and dominate me, maybe in his office, or in some deserted classroom. I wanted him to think of me as an innocent little girl, and then learn about my wilder side, all while teaching me how to please and be pleased in the right ways. It was a lot to ask for.
"Fan Qi" he called on me. 
Oops, daydreaming again.
"Bu hao yisi, qing ni zai shuo yibian" I asked him to repeat himself. In Chinese, he told me that he wanted to see me after class.
I told him I'd could meet him in his office after I used the restroom. Those last ten minutes passed by so quickly, I didn't even realize class was just ending. I took a deep breath, my heart was pounding, I was caught off-guard. I went to the bathroom, checked my appearance, and headed up the stairs to his office.
Our class was in the basement, and his office was on the third floor, so I was a flushed after I finished hopping up the stairs.

I knocked on his door, he told me to sit down. My mind was spinning as I sat down, still trying to slow my heartbeat, and snap my thoughts back to reality. My palms were sweating, but I didn't really feel nervous anymore, because his patient look had such a calming effect. And anyway, he had no idea what I had been thinking of. What did he want?
"I already sent your letter of recommendation for your study abroad this summer."
"Wow, thank you!" I hadn't even asked him for one yet—
"But I wanted to talk to you about your performance in class these last few days. I've noticed that you seem pretty distracted. Has anything happened with you lately? Is everything alright?"
"Oh, no! Everything's been pretty good lately, I'm sorry I've seemed so distracted, I just have had a lot going on, and I just got caught zoning out a few times." I was touched that he was asking about me. Obviously I didn't want to tell him what was really on my mind. I thanked him for his concern, and told him I would try harder to stay focused, and then I took off down the stairs. 
With a slow breath to shake off the encounter, I popped in my earbuds and let the sounds of a Talking Heads song carry me to my next class.
----
Saturday night was a blast. I went dancing with my friends, and got a little tipsy. I knew I shouldn't have been walking alone, but my friends were going off to a party, and I was fairly certain my ex-boyfriend would be there, so I decided to walk home. It was a nice evening, I was in a great mood, and I thought I was sober enough then that I could even be productive on Sunday.

I walked down High Street, the main street that bordered campus. I hummed to myself as I went. Half a block ahead of me, I saw a few women walk out of a bar and head down the street, the direction I was walking, and then a man. He was walking toward me, and when he came a little closer, I realized it was Mr. Conley! I walked a little taller, trying to walk so that my hips would swing a little more. Then I noticed myself, and laughed a little. I was totally in my own world, and then suddenly, he was right in front of me. We both stopped walking.
"Laoshi hao" I greeted him as my teacher.
"Fan Qi! What are you doing out so late? Why are you alone?"
"I'm fine, I'm just heading home. What about you?" I was a little drunker than I thought. Moving maybe a little too flirtatiously, I shifted my hips toward him.
He didn't seem to notice.
"I was just having a drink with some teachers. I'm about to head home. Do you live far from here? Are you okay by yourself?"
"I just live a few blocks from here, what about you?" I was smiling sweetly, trying to suggest more than I was saying, but doing it a little awkwardly.
He looked concerned, "Why don't I walk you to your dorm? Apartment? Where is it?"
I was delighted by his offer, even as innocent as it seemed to be. There had been a series of muggings in the area, and several students had been seriously injured. I knew he wasn't trying to make a pass at me, but still, I grew a little bolder. Stepping a closer to him, I touched his arm, and looked up at him. "Why don't I walk you to yours?"
He stopped, his mouth open. Maybe he was shocked, but I didn't want this moment to slip away. Before he could refuse my offer, I went further. I grabbed his belt loop and pulled him toward me. "Maybe you'd like to teach me something else today?" After they slipped past my lips, I was honestly shocked by my own words, but I tried to stay cool and just wait for his answer. We were teetering on the edge of something. Before my sense of shame had an opportunity to activate, I slowly slid my hand downward toward his crotch. For a split second I thought about the Chinese concept of 'saving face'. I either needed his compliance, or I needed to turn up the drunk girl routine and get the hell out of there. He seemed to be stopping to consider something, and then, to my surprise, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the building's entranceway, tucked away from the main sidewalk.
"You're stepping into a dangerous zone, Ms. Clark. But maybe you like that?" He covered my mouth and leaned down so he could speak more softly. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and understood why my invitation incited such a brilliant response. "But I'm going to tell you right now, if you want it—if you want me to teach you that is, it's going to be on my terms, and you're going to keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut. I mean it. If I hear one word about this from anyone else, you're going to find it very difficult to continue in this program. You're free to walk away right now, or you'll do exactly as I say from now on." My eyes wide,
I hummed an affirmation through his fingers
I was stunned. I was excited. Changes in relationships are so strange. They always happen so suddenly. A simple first kiss, for example, can make the fumbling awkwardness of a new relationship smooth out completely. I've always been fascinated by that shift. But there was no awkwardness in his actions, and he did not kiss me.
"We're going to my office, and you're going to walk a few yards in front of me on the way there. Don't turn around, don't try to look at me-- there will be consequences if you act otherwise. Get walking."
So I got walking. I started moving back toward campus. The walk to his office was incredible. It was everything I wanted—I had his attention! I kept thinking of the moment that he went from being my teacher to being more than my teacher. I could tell he was looking at me, into me. He knew there was more to me than my modest clothing and my rather normal student behavior, of that, at least, I was sure. Otherwise, he wouldn't be speaking to me so...directly.
I wanted him to know more of me. I'd kept my sexuality hidden from everyone except just a few guys. Aside from those few people, I was just a cute girl with bangs who smiled all the time. They had no idea that I could let my hair down, take my clothes off. They didn't know that I could arch my back and growl hungrily for them, or let them tie me up and have their way with me. I could do it all.
We arrived at the language building, dark and empty and huge. I wasn't sure what to expect at this point. This was so strange, but I was so turned on. I just tried to wake myself up to the fact that this was real, really real. There was no one in the building, but the doors to the entranceways were usually kept unlocked. It felt nice to get out of the crisp evening air.
I entered the stairwell, and walked slowly up to the first landing.
"Wait," he ordered. I paused. I remembered that I was not to turn around, so I just stood as I was. Mr. Conley climbed the stairs behind me. As he arrived on the landing, he pushed me forward into the wall. He put his arms on the wall on either side of me, and kissed the back of my neck, moving his tongue to my earlobe for a moment. I moaned softly. I could smell his cologne, and the dusty odor of the whitewashed wall I was pressed against. He ran his hand down the length of my side to my hip.
He stepped back. "Up."
We climbed the rest of the stairs up to the office as we had walked before, with Mr. Conley a few feet behind. My ass was at his eye level the whole way up.
Mr. Conley unlocked his office door and turned on a light. 

 "Have a seat, Ms. Clark."
"Okay."
"That better be the last time I hear you speak to me without addressing me as 'Sir', understood?"
I was elated. "Yes, sir." He clearly wanted to take control! My heart was racing. He sat down in his chair across the desk from me. I wondered why he didn't touch me.
"Take off that pathetic little dress of yours, and sit back down. I have a question for you."
I stood up and pulled my dress over my head. It was awkward, not really sexy at all, and I sheepishly sunk into the office chair, now half naked.
I was grateful I wasn't sober. Mr. Conley must have read my mind.
