Learning

Those few minutes before,

while He's preparing,

are when i feel the most lost.

Do i speak,

do i kneel?

What does He want?

There's no set rules,

no required positions,

so i just stand there

and

wait.

Always,

when i'm nervous,

my entire focus goes to my hands.

They find their way first to my hair,

then to my mouth

as i bite my fingers.

my eyes follow him about the room

as He gathers the toys for our play.

It's all so new to me,

nothing about this reality

comes close to the books i have read,

nor the fantasies i have created.

Be it by plan,

or without His own knowledge,

He is breaking me in a way i never imagined.

There are no rules but two;

always keep His coffee cup clean

and look pretty for Daddy.

On my days off,

there may be a few added chores,

but it's never much.

i'm allowed free reign in the house,

i sit where i choose,

speak when i want,

i'm never asked to lower my gaze.

i know the majority of the housework is expected to be done be me,

but never on a set schedule.

Nothing's mentioned

unless i fall into a lazy trap,

letting a few days go by.

Even then,

it's always just a casual reminder.

my first real punishment was in public.

i hadn't washed His coffee cup,

it sat in the sink for days.

Yes,

there was that time in the hotel

when W/we both learned how much

my body truly loves

the caress of the whip.

A brief caning in the bedroom,

unbound,

with only His weight holding me still

while i struggled.

mmmm...

and that precious, intimate time

He pulled me over His lap...

None of those were real though,

they was all just part of us getting to know each other,

learning each other's ways.

He taught me His full control

before the eyes of others,

allowing it all to be caught in the flash of the camera.

i walked into the scene without a script,

hoping my natural instincts would be enough

to please Him,

to make Him proud in front of His friends.

i know He was pleased my outfit.

The plaid school girl skirt,

short enough to glimpse my white cotton panties

and the lace of my thigh highs.

The tight button down shirt showing

just a tease of cleavage.

Bright red with a wide plastic belt,

the shirt and the 6 and a half inch heels

were just the right touch

to bring Him back

to His mid-80's puberty.

As i walked through the door,

all of this was hidden beneath

my hood of innocence,

in a cloak that He had bought for someone else.

It must be an extra kink for Him,

seeing me in something she never wore for Him.

With no rules, no commands

how do i know what to do,

what is expected of me?

So my eyes follow Him about the room

as i

wait.

He notices my discomfort,

and has me sit on the massage table behind us.

Grateful that He has chosen to take me

to the back of the room,

i do my best

to avoid catching a glimpse of myself

in the mirrored wall.

Instead i focus on the cage in the corner,

losing myself in the thoughts

having one in our own bedroom...

i look into His eyes

and find that place

where He can completely

wrap Himself around me.

It's a place He's made just for me,

where i can hide

no matter how scared i am and know

i'll always be safe.

i nuzzle into His chest,

smiling up at Him as He places

leather shackles on my ankles and wrists.

The fur lining is soft against my skin.

my arms and legs are spread wide,

though not uncomfortable,

as i am bent over the horse.

Thankful that i can hide my face,

i see nothing of what is to happen

or

the people around me.

He offers a few kind words before He begins,

letting me know He'll be gentle,

and reminding me

He loves me.

it's finally here,

the moment i have been

equally craving and

terrified of for years.

Completely bound,

i have no choice but to trust Him.

i've heard there's release in the pain,

i've tasted hints of it before

but never has anyone offered

so much of Their love to me

as my Daddy is about to.

i know the cane is to come,

three of them i believe.

i had done my best to hide in my hair,

barely glancing out of the corner of my eye

as He and a friend waved them around earlier,

teasing me with a sound i knew would sting

once it hit flesh.

it's not this sting i feel at first,

but His hand as He spanks me,

preparing my bottom for what is to come.

my Daddy keeps me starved for His attention,

i revel in this as much as i would

the most passionate

kiss.

The feel of the strike changes,

but it's still not the sting i am expecting.

my eye wanders again to the cage

as He warms my bottom with one of His many tools.

i close my eyes for a moment,

breathing in the moment,

as the thought of the cage lingers.

my dreams of the future are

quickly replaced

by the sharp thoughts of the present

as i try remain graceful before Daddy's friends.

The punishment has begun and

i'm having a hard time

balancing in my heels.

i was so proud of wearing Daddy's shackles,

they looked like they were made

to be worn above those heels.

The stark white of my thigh highs made

the sliver ring sparkle against

the black leather.

i struggled to keep my breath

as the canes danced around my bottom.

my only thoughts were of pleasing Him,

on remaining beautiful and calm

as i endured my first punishment.

Each loving strike

reminding me

this was the

Master i had been

searching for.

i want nothing more

than to wear His collar,

and it doesn't escape my notice

that my neck

is naked

tonight.