Fifty Shades of Gay
I was going to kill him.
Since I'd been appointed as the chief secretary of Elliott "Just Elliott" Grimme, life had become far more complicated that I'd been anticipating. When he'd more or less challenged me to accept the position, I'd accepted out of defiance and hadn't taken the time to consider how
horrible
of a decision it could be.
Well, here I was, several weeks later, draped over my desk with an empty tumbler in my grasp. The stress was
real
.
During those two months, I'd learned two things very well; for one, all adults were liars. Work was not fun. It wasn't even remotely enjoyable, especially if you happened to work for an overly demanding prick. And two, it was actually possible to be too exhausted for sleep itself. I hadn't had a proper night's sleep in nearly a week, what with all that'd been going on, and my body was suffering the consequences. If I had the energy, I'd have strangled Elliott Grimme where he stood, but I could barely curl my fingers tight enough to hold a pen, so carrying out that vendetta would have to wait.
Until then, I would be whispering sweet nothings to the blotter cushioning my head.
By eleven, I'd been relinquished. Jung practically had to carry me to my room, under the impression that I was heavily drunk. I didn't have the energy to explain that I was just drained. Yeah, if someone could lock me away in a stasis chamber for the next two hundred years, that'd be great. The sleep would be well beyond the degree of welcome.
That night, I slept in my clothes. It was the best sleep I'd gotten all week - the sort that was so deep you didn't even have the pleasure of a dream. I'd slept into the afternoon the next day, grateful for the fact that it was Saturday and that no work was required of me for that day in particular. When I woke, it was to find that I'd half-undressed myself and that I had one new message awaiting my attention.
Bleary-eyed, I swiped over the notif and squinted at the tiny text.
Anonymous:
'What are your plans for lunch today?'
Elliott. The last person I wanted to hear from on my day off. Couldn't this fool take a hint? I wanted to
sleep
. I wanted some
peace
. I wanted-
My stomach made some sort of angry, inhuman noise and it was followed by the horrid cramping that only came with serious hunger. Right. I'd been subsisting on coffee for the majority of the week, and last night had been no exception. I'd worked through lunch and dinner, then I'd had the nerve to sleep my way through breakfast. When I typed my response, I was careful not to sound too particularly concerned.
'Undecided.'
Ha. If a one-word message wasn't enough to imply I wasn't exactly up for chats, I didn't know what else would be.
Anonymous:
'The Peacock an hour from now. Meet me.'
Groaning, I checked the time and inwardly scowled. Elliott Grimme was going to ruin my day off.
Instead of dwelling on that fact, I dragged myself out of bed, stripped out of my work clothes, and tossed them into a nearby hamper. A quick shower later and I was feeling a little more human. Face washed, teeth brushed, hair combed - there, now I even looked civilised, not that he deserved it. I guess I still had an image to maintain, though.
I kept it simple with a pair of close-fitting black jeans, a Pogues band tee, and a cardigan. Onto my feet went a pair of combat boots, and I'd left most of my hair down, save my fringe, which had grown out in recent months. I tied that section up into a little ponytail and took my leave, slapping a note on the fridge for Jung just in case he wondered where I'd gone.
Out in the city, it was chilly. I instantly regretted not having pulled on something a little warmer, but it was too late. I lived close enough to The Peacock that I could walk, so I wandered down the pavement with my shoulders hunched and hands buried deep into my pockets. At the very least, it wasn't raining today - or raining
yet.
One glance up at the darkening sky told me all I needed to know.
The Peacock was a classy little two-tier establishment with a full lounge and bar on the second floor. Much to my surprise, Elliott Grimme wasn't there, because he'd been instead posted out front and looking ever so nonchalant beneath the day's gloom. Had he actually waited for me? Oh, this was going to be good.
I decided right then and there that he wasn't going to get off easy and marched my ass right up to him. I had to put on the best displeased expression I could and make him feel guilty for dragging me out on a day that was supposed to be solely mine and mine alone.
"What is it now?" I knew it sounded rude, but I wasn't in a polite sort of mood.
"Well, I was going to offer to buy you lunch, but if you're busy, I can find other ways to spend my time." He said, oh so matter-of-factly.
Shit
. Okay, stupid decision, but he was still dead wrong for disturbing me. "Oh. Well. . . I guess since we're already here, it's fine."
Elliott opened the door before me and I strode in with a quiet thanks, unsure what to make of his gesture. We found a table, parked ourselves at it, and a waitress soon came by to set us up with menus. Elliott didn't even bother to look.
"Do you eat meat?"
"Yes?"
"We'll have two of the organic roast turkey and aged white cheddar over multigrain ciabatta, spinach, no lettuce, tomatoes, vegan spread, no mayo."
We would?
Elliott smiled at me. "You'll love it."
"Coffee?" She asked.
"Tea, please." He'd stepped in before I could catch her, and in the next moment she was gone, leaving us to chat amongst ourselves.
"Do you always order for your lunch dates?" I could feel the annoyance bleed onto my features.
"Only when I'm nice." He quipped, offering one of his signature smiles.
"Speaking of which, I'm still not even entirely sure why I'm here. Did you need something?"
Besides my foot up your ass?
My words must have struck a nerve because he didn't say anything for several moments, as if re-evaluating the situation. Why I bothered to say anything at all was beyond me, but I quickly followed up with, "I mean work related. Is that why you called me out here today?"
Chuckling, he shook his head. "No, not at all. Actually, I felt badly about these past couple weeks. Thank you for being so resourceful. I'm sure you must be exhausted?"
"You have
no
idea--" Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! I'd forgotten for two seconds that he was my boss. This couldn't end well.
Elliott laughed - an actual laugh, dimples and all, and it was the first time I had ever been so ridiculously dazed. His eyes lit up like nothing else when he laughed, the perfectly sculpted features of his face managing to look even more handsome when he smiled. This was just pathetic. My emotions were so fickle today.
"You're certainly different." Okay . . .? Good thing? "I like different- thank you- it's more amusing than with any of my previous secretaries."
"So glad that I amuse you." I said without an inkling of inflection.
Elliott slid the glass of chilled green tea toward me and I sipped. Oh, God it was refreshing. I almost hated myself for how much better it felt to have this rather than the coffee I'd been originally plotting on.
"So, what is this? Is this you bribing me to stay? Scared I'll quit?"
"This is me thanking you. Why, were you thinking of quitting?" He did that thing with his brow - as if he were daring me to say 'yes'.
"No, but I'm going to need another day off soon if you're going to keep working me like this."
"Deal. What else should I know?" The way he twisted the straw between his fingertips was distracting.
Wait - backtrack - he wanted me to actually
talk
? "Huh?"
"What do you like - not like? Is there anything that you want?"
There was too much I wanted. And why was he being so nice? This felt like a trap. "You mean about my job?"
"Let's move on to something that isn't work related. Tell me about your interests."
"My interests. . . well, I like to read - I do some photography. Um. . . I can play the piano?"
"Brilliant." Was it?
"Sometimes I go drinking? Clubs. . . movie theatres?"
"Sounds fairly typical."
"Well, what were you expecting? It's not like I'm a part time arsonist - I'm not sure how exciting my personal life could really be."
"Tell me about your preferences, then."
My preferences? "I don't follow."
"Bathory Estate."
I choked on my tea. Clearing my throat helped a little, but we still got a few looks. "Wh- Grim- Elliott, you can't just say that anywhere."
He scoffed. "Why not?"
"Because it's not exactly PG, you know? God . . ."
I watched him glance about the cafe and shrug. "I don't see any children. Why avoid the question?"
"Says the man who never answers any of mine." I snapped, sipping at my tea a moment later to cover the awkwardness.
"You said you hadn't gone there for a Dominant, so what are your preferences?"
"Honestly . . . I'm not sure." And I wasn't. "I've never exactly participated. Watched, sure. But I've never. . . been part of the scene. Mostly, I go there to unwind and spend time with people I'm familiar with, I guess."
Whatever I'd said must not have reached him, because he seemed to be musing intently on something. "You're telling me you have no idea what your preferences are?" I wasn't sure if it was a good thing for him to look so surprised, but it made me nervous.
"Right. . ."
The waitress brought our sandwiches and for just a few moments had successfully put the conversation on hold. I was only too grateful. For the next half hour or so, I did my best to keep my mouth occupied so that I didn't have to answer anymore of his invasive questions. I even felt like I was succeeding - until Elliott Grimme had opened up his mouth again.
"You're attracted to men, right?"
Another opportunity to choke, but this time I at least managed to nod. "Women don't exactly inspire anything in me. Is that relevant?"
"I'm not sure yet." He answered plainly before biting into his sandwich, an odd twinkle in his eye.
Oh, how I would have given anything to terminate this conversation. Luckily, there wasn't much talk after that, but once we'd finished lunch, he had insisted that we visit the aquarium.
While I didn't exactly see the harm in this, it did seem a little fishy - what with the spontaneous invite (pun definitely intended). I was almost certain it would just be another opportunity for him to ask more of his stupid questions.
Except . . . he didn't say much of anything. Elliott seemed to be more focused on the sea creatures that surrounded us than any small issue with my preferences or otherwise. It wasn't until we'd come to the jellyfish that he'd even given me a second look. The last couple of people moved on to the next exhibit and left us to stand in silence.
"Ezra."
"Hm?"
"All of these creatures. . . wouldn't you say that they know their place?"
Knew their place? In the domain of the sea? "Sure. I'd say that much, at least." I answered cluelessly. Foolishly.
"Then, would you agree that it was only right that you knew yours?"
What?!
"If I knew my place?" I could hear the shock in my voice, my face numb, and before I could register what was happening, I was lurching forward and being spun around, back pressed up against the glass. My eyes darted about the dark space, barely illuminated by the blue light of the tanks. Everyone really had gone.
"You don't even know what you want." He murmured.
Oh, shit. He was too close - too close to my face. I could see all of his handsome features in stark definition despite the lighting, from the length of his lashes to the curve of his lips.
Goddamn
he was beautiful. My pulse picked up, and the closer he drifted, the harder it was to breathe. I licked my lips and swallowed hard, but the words wouldn't come out.
Elliott's fingers wrapped about my wrists and trapped them above me to the glass, his face inching toward mine until I could feel his warm breath. My lips parted, lids falling shut, but before his lips could fully press to mine, he'd withdrawn and released my wrists. A couple of people filtered through but only one of them stuck around.
"Let's go." He declared, sliding his hands into his pockets before he'd turned to stride back from whence we'd come. I was still in shock, a fingertip brushing over my lips. It had barely been a kiss, but every inch of me had reacted. I knew no-one would be able to see in such dim lighting, but I could feel the warm flush of my skin. Before I left the jellyfish room, I had to skilfully adjust myself. Nobody needed to see that. My hardon was nobody else's business - least of all the jackass who'd left me hanging with it.
When we emerged it was already the evening. Elliott offered me a ride home, and for lack of a better suggestion, I'd accepted. It was a quiet ride to my place, but before I had the chance to get out of the car, he'd caught me by the wrist.
"Think carefully on what I said." It wasn't optional, apparently.
"Right." Too bad I was thinking more about what he looked like with his clothes off. "Thanks for lunch."
Elliott smiled, fingers releasing their grip. "Anytime."
