In the middle of a cafe filled with pensioners huddled over cups of tea and kids scrambling under chairs, Linda zeroed in on her target very quickly. He certainly stood out from the mundane company around him, but he wasn't as terrifying as her imagination had built him up to be either. So there was no excuse to back out now, nothing beyond plain cowardice. Taking a deep breath, her arms ramrod straight, she walked down the line of tables towards him.
He was looking at his phone, but at the sound of her heels approaching his head snapped up and he smiled in greeting. There was a faded ruggedness about him which she found sexy; his hair was greying at the temples, and there were wrinkles round his blue eyes, but he also had quite a strong and compact build beneath his suit. She guessed that he had been more active when he was younger. Perhaps, as he approached middle age, this was his way of keeping fit. It was certainly a method that appealed to her.
Linda reached the table and extended her arm nervously. "Hi." He shook her hand and gestured her silently to sit down.
"Did you have any problems getting here?" His voice was deep and neutral, but there was a probing intelligence behind it.
"Oh God, no," Linda said, with unneeded haste. "I've been here loads of times. But never, you know... to do something like this." Get
to the crunch why don't you
, she thought to herself.
He gave her a sympathetic smile. "Well, it's not something you do every day of the week."
"Not for me it isn't. I don't know about you!"
He shook his head. "There's not enough demand for it, sorry to say." He thought about it for a moment, then added, "Actually, I'm not that sorry. It's hardly a nine-to-five job; if it were, I'd lose my enthusiasm for it. I mean, do you still feel...?" He waved his hand around, trying to express himself. "Are you still as eager as you were when you first contacted me?"
Linda looked back at him, thinking of all the ways your imagination could run wild on a first date: wondering what they would be like when they got older, what kind of parent they might be, whether you could spend the rest of your life with them. This was no date as such, and she had a very different list of questions racing through her mind, but these ones needed answering more urgently. She had to work out whether he could really make all the things they had talked about, and she had dreamed about, come true.
He had been very patient with her during all their conversations, by email and on the phone. He had asked little and got a lot in return. If he could tease that much out of her at a distance, he could really get to work on her in the flesh. Her own choice of phrase sent a shiver of adrenaline through her body. She folded her arms on the table and nodded, staring down at them. "Yes. Stuart," she added hastily, looking up at him. Her courtesy seemed to impress him. He took her hand and squeezed it gently.
"Good." Linda's heart leapt as she felt a spark of electricity pass between them. She could hardly remember the last time she'd had that kind of connection with someone. It was liberating, and reassuring, to know that she could still produce it. She crossed her legs and settled back in her chair, and her increased confidence did not go unnoticed. Stuart gave a little smile, and pointed towards the counter. "You want anything? It's all on me."
"Oh, thanks. Um, just a coffee." As he got up, Linda wondered if it was the last time he would be doing the waiting on her. Thankfully she didn't have to reflect on her fantasies for long before he returned, and they quietly sipped their drinks. It was obvious he didn't feel the need to fill every moment of silence with chatter, which was a weakness in many men Linda had met and also, she recognised wincingly, in herself.
"You didn't say what it is you do," he finally declared, putting down his cup.
Linda had wondered when he was going to ask that. She knew she had no obligation to answer, but it was obvious he was expecting her to. If she was putting so much of herself in his hands, she should be able to tell him the truth about this too. She folded her hands cautiously between her knees. "I lecture at the university down the road. History."
Stuart's eyes widened, and he gave an impressed nod. "Not just an educated woman, but a woman in education. Good. That should make things easier. You already know the challenges of trying to teach somebody something new."
Linda snorted nervously. "This is a little different from what I teach!"
"The principles are the same. You know what it takes to be a good student. Imagination, commitment, hard work. Plenty of hard work." He licked his lips as he drained the remnants of his cup. The note of humour in his voice set off a nagging doubt in Linda.
"I was worried," she began, trying to express herself properly. "I mean, I thought I might come over as silly to you. Do you know what I mean?"
"No, I don't. Why would you look silly?"
"Well, I don't know how many people like me you've seen. I thought I might be... too old or something. Seem a bit desperate."
Stuart gave a little sigh, and tapped his knuckles on the table. "Linda, I don't have any age limits, besides the obvious one. I couldn't even if I wanted to. This is a pretty small customer base I'm working from. There are plenty of women with the same kind of thoughts as you, but very few with the bravery to come forward and do something about it." He paused and put a hand to his brow. "I'm making it sound like a Crimewatch appeal. The point is, every woman I see, I appreciate her for what she is. Remember that."
"Thank you," she replied graciously, feeling embarrassed by her fears. "I just thought you might be seeing a whole load of twenty-year olds, things like that."
Stuart gave a rueful shake of the head. "Find me some twenty-year olds with the money to spend on something like this and I will happily take them on. Whereas a woman of your advanced years -- how old did you say you were, thirty-eight?" Linda nodded. "Yes, ancient women like you, with steady professional jobs and enough spare income lying around -- you're my bread and butter. The ones I have to make do with."
Linda rolled her eyes a little at his heavy sarcasm, but just to reinforce his point, he leaned across the table, his eyes gleaming with intent. "Linda, understand me. I am going to do things to you that no man has ever done before. I'm guessing you've heard that line in the past, right?"
"A couple of times," she smiled, staring coolly back at him.
"Well this time it's going to be true. I have to deliver for you, you're devoting such a large chunk of your salary to me. You might have to go hungry now and then, eat smaller meals than you're used to. I couldn't live with myself, knowing that I made such a difference to your stomach, unless I can make a difference between your legs too. That's your real priority, isn't it? That's why you're here?"
"Uh-hmm," Linda nodded. She felt her cheeks flush as he stared at her, turning the screw for the first time. It took an effort for her to adjust to it, but after a few seconds she began to enjoy being looked at, to grow comfortable with it. Instead of evading his eyes she looked straight into them, letting him know that she was ready for the challenge.
"Anyway," Stuart said at last, the spell broken, "you're not remotely the oldest woman I've taken on. Since I know you're interested, the oldest was... seventy? No, seventy-two. And, since I know you're even more interested," he added as he caught the look on her face, "there was very little that I could teach her sexually. Hardly surprising, she mastered that side of things long before you and I were born. I had no complaints with her technique, or her attitude. She just needed a little... guidance, that's all. To make the most of her efforts." He smiled as the memory washed over him. "So," he finally continued, "how long have you been thinking of doing this?"
"Not long. Not actually doing it. I've been wanting something different for a long time, but I didn't know what exactly. I just knew something was wrong."
"What do you think was wrong?"
"I don't know, it's just..." Linda gave a helpless shrug, trying to vocalise a set of feelings that had been churning inside her for years. "I don't think I've ever been as good as I should have been. Sexually, I mean. There was this kind of expectation, I felt, when I was growing up, that us girls were going to take charge, be more honest about what we wanted in the bedroom, and we'd all be able to show our partners exactly what to do and still have fantastic orgasms at the end. I always felt this pressure on me to get it right, and I never did. I never felt confident enough to ask exactly what he liked, or to tell him exactly what I liked. You worry about being judged, so you just end up blundering around making guesses. I suppose it's the same for you blokes a lot of the time, right?" He didn't respond, so she continued.
"It was like that in all the relationships I've had. Thinking, this is OK, but it could be better, and it should be better. When I met the one who I thought was, y'know,
the one
, it started out so well. We really clicked in the bedroom. I thought, this is it, we're so in tune we just know how to please each other. No need to go over it in detail. But then we started having arguments, out of bed, then in bed, and I thought... I don't really know this guy at all. Sorry, am I making you feel like a marriage counsellor?"
"It's all right," Stuart smiled, head resting on his chin. "Go on."
"Anyway, we never got as far as marriage. We split up a couple of years ago, and I started... playing the field a bit more. I've not been in a relationship since then. I've had a lot of casual partners, one-night stands, two-night stands if he was good. They were fun, mostly, so I shouldn't really complain. But I still felt something was missing. Missing in me."
"Did you ever pay for sex?"
"I've thought about it from time to time. I don't think it's beneath me or whatever. If I picked the right guy I'm sure it would be very nice, it's just..." She paused and looked at Stuart. "He'd still be doing a job. And his job is to make me feel good, and that would be it. I wouldn't really be learning anything. I want someone who's going to make me a better lover. Someone who
