the collar is simple.
black, about an inch thick. not comfortable, or uncomfortable. not tight. not loose. you put it on me, buckle it slowly, warm fingertips against my skin. cold metal. stiff leather. I am standing. you have not said anything, it just appeared in your hands and i freeze. i am cold as you gently and carefully lift my hair to adjust it and arrange my hair on my shoulders after. i am shaking. i expect the leash, the sharp tug, the pain, my whole body is ready for it. i wait, afraid. but it doesn't come. you sit looking at me. the collar lays against my throat. simple, like a fact.
something must happen, my body is buzzing, illuminated. so i strip. directly, piece by piece, for your calm eyes. i drop my shirt, my black bra, my jeans on the floor. i stand again, naked and barefoot. you watch silently, and then look at my body and the collar. you like it, but you don't show it. i know to turn around before you even make a gesture. i lift my hair so you can see my back, the silver of the buckle and the loop. i stand still.
i hear you stand up and go to my knees right away. i kneel on my clothes and wait. i want to cross my arms, protect my body, but i don't. i open my palms at my sides and start breathing fast. i wait for the touch. i am burning.
but you walk silently past me to the bathroom and turn on the water in the tub. i hear the sound and wait. i can't bear to be away from you, but i fear to stand. so i crawl. i crawl into the bathroom, wood floor on my knees, then cool tile. you lean against the door and watch. i move slowly, my breath harsh. the collar seems like the only thing i've ever worn. but you don't come to me, don't touch.
"we're going out. help me now."
at last i have a task, so i can relax a little, although my skin shivers like it has frost on it. i go to you on my knees and raise my hands, palms up. you place then against your thighs casually, firmly. i peel your clothes off and then am very efficient. i fold them. i keep my eyes down, stay on my knees.
i help you into the bath and watch the water pour over your body. every inch. i get to eat you with my eyes. now yours are closed. i use soap, soft cloth, slowly rub it over you, like i am painting your body a different color. i love it. to get to touch you so slowly. slow, soap, rhythm, your eyes closed. i pour the perfect water over your skin. your eyes stay closed. i want to say that you are beautiful, but i cannot speak. at last i breathe one soft, "thank you" as i work. you do not respond.
i stand to dry your body--i put the towel on the radiator so it would be warm--and help you dress. this is interesting because i pick the clothes. i fear that you won't like my choices, but you are quiet, relaxed, you let me move slowly and steal little touches as i dress you. i know not to ask for too much. as soon as you are dressed, you move fast and suddenly for the first time. you walk from me, and throw a black dress on the bed, small, stretchy, i'd usually wear it with pants. you throw my black boots on top.
"just that. nothing else. and get out here."
we go out to a bar. when we get there, you lead me to the bar, one hand on the small of my back. i lean against it and you adjust my hair so it falls behind my back, not in front of my breasts. it is loud. i am self-conscious in the short, tight dress, but it is busy, and only the men near me let their eyes flicker over my heavy breasts--not big, but prominent--straining against the black cotton.
you get me a drink. a manhattan, one cherry. strong for me. i lean next to you, we look at the room. the collar could not even be noticed here--it could look like jewelry. i drink. it is strong. i start to relax. you are quiet some, you talk to the bartender, to a girl and her boyfriend next to us. you feel gentle and strong next to me.
i smell you every now and then when you lean over. my nipples are hard. i like the drink, i like people looking. i am getting comfortable. i pick up my glass and drain it. the second i set it down on the bar your hand quickly reaches for the collar and i hear a snap. my stomach lurches as you adjust the length of the leash around your wrist. in public? i am covered with a cold sweat. everything is blurry. you step away from the bar and give the leash a short sharp tug. the people near us see and look away, or look closer. i stumble. you don't wait. i catch up, walking quickly at your side to the back of the bar. more people stare--my face burns. the leash is slack as i walk by your side. we get to the hallway by the washrooms, loud, dirty, a long hall--i wonder where we are going. i say, "where . . ."
and you shove me against the wall. i gasp. you press my shulders back and say, "don't move." i don't. you pull down on the neck of the dress, so that more of my breasts are exposed. i am shuddering. i say, "please touch me . . ." you smile. for the first time all night. you say, "i think you're ready, my beauty."
and then, "down."
i am confused, i hesitate, it is loud, dirty, seems crowded, i am afraid.
"down. NOW."
i kneel clumsily and wait. you stand in front of me. you pull up on the collar and i raise my chin. you say, 'lick your lips." i do it. you pull down again on the dress. then you evaluate me. you reach down slowly and pinch both nipples through the dress, feeling them harden like stones. i whimper and pull back. you roll them between your fingers roughly. i am wet. you look steadily at my eyes and torment my nipples. when you decide i'm ready, you lean against the wall next to me. relaxed. my knees on the dirty floor, the dress riding up, nothing under it. breasts aching and pushing against the fabric.
i wait, tense, keeping my breasts pushed out like you like them.
you wait.
a washroom door opens.
he comes out of the washroom loudly, hand against the wall. young guy, drunk, blonde, athletic. he pauses a second as he sees me on my knees. you say, "hey." he greets you casually, a little uncertain. almost walks by. you make a joke, he laughs, i can't really hear. male voices above me, both laughing a little. you say, "show your tits, honey. show this guy what you've got." i am still, my heart beating fast. he's nervous too, but waits--you might be joking, but there I am, on my knees. i feel the loop of the leash gently between my shoulder blades. it makes me startle and push my breasts forward. you say, "go on. you want to see 'em, right?" the guy says, "uh, yeah . . . "
i pull the neck of the dress down, reach in with my hands and lift my breasts out and over the top. they are white, glowing, large peach-colored nipples, hard. goosebumps. i want to shrink away, but again the leash on my back to i thrust them forward. everyone is silent and my nipples get harder as they are stared at. i bow my head. hear your soft voice, "she'll blow you, man, if you want. she's into it." he is still staring and moves uncertainly a little closer. "show him," you say, the loop of the leash gently under my chin. i raise my eyes and look. his face is red, he looks baffled and hungry, he nervously looks down the hall, we hear the sounds of the bar. he takes an uncertain step towards me and i reach for his belt, gagging and sick.
my knees hurt as i see the single eye of his hard cock right away. it is warm and unfamiliar, he tries to keep his pants up but pushes it pretty eagerly at my mouth. he's psyched, you can tell, but nervous too. i almost vomit as i taste it, but i feel your eyes on my mouth. i open it, take the tip, swirl my tongue around the head, he says, "fuck. oh fuck." that helps. i know how to do this. i grasp him firmly and pretend it's you. i go to work. long strokes down the shaft, hot and wet, i bury my face in the cloth, his hair, his balls. he groans and grabs the wall. you are silent but i feel your eyes.
"oh, shit, shit." he comes hard in my mouth, i force myself to swallow, and pull away. he staggers back and does up his pants. he exhales like he's going to faint. looks down at me and doesn't know what to say so he thanks you, and laughs a little nervously. you say, "hey, no problem." lazily. like it was an easy favor.
he staggers quickly back to the bar. i am silent, breasts still out, still almost retching, the bleach, sweet sour strange taste in my mouth. i feel the leash under my chin and raise my face--you stare at my mouth. passive but keen. i know you are hard, i want to reach for you but hear sounds behind me.
the guy is back, with a friend. heavy set, darker. "see, there, she's got her tits out and everything. she blew me, go ahead!" he's laughing, a little hysterical. his friend is drunker, less nervous. he looks at you. you say, "sure, you want her? go ahead honey. open up." I helplessly open my mouth.
the dark guy is giggling and gets out his cock fast. it is bigger. he jams it in my mouth. he groans right away and reaches for my hair. i suck hard to defend my throat. i use my teeth right away, gentle. "oh fucking hell." he reaches for my heard and holds the back of my head, fucking my mouth hard, once he got permission, he's really giving it to me. his friend says, "careful, jesus!" and laughs, but you say, "nah, she can take it." so he pounds harder, my head hits the wall, he comes down my throat, i choke and cough.
just then the bathroom door opens and a girl comes out--a new guy also comes down the hall--they both freeze right away as the dark guy pulls out, wipes his dick on my tits and staggers against the wall, laughing. his friend congratulates him. they are braver together. now they both watch as they are cracking up. "you want in? " they say to the new guy. they don't know him. he says, "what the hell?" but moves closer. now i don't even bother to try to get the cum off my lips. i reach for him and he pulls away but i gently rub the front of his jeans and he doesn't go that far. the girl says, "don't you dare!" and laughs. drunk, too.
he almost pulls away, and grabs her arm to steady himself, but then i hear you say, "hey, its cool. you want her to do you first?" to the girl. everyone laughs like you can't be serious, but the leash goes under my chin and you speak to me seriously, and so they all quiet down. the two guys against the wall, the new guy next to me and the girl. you say, "lick your lips for her, honey. show her that pretty tongue and what it can do."
i close my eyes but not before i see make up, long light hair, slutty purple shirt, short skirt. she's maybe 23. her guy says, "yeah, do it, and pushes her in front of him, holds her hips and presses into her from behind.
she laughs but is laughing at her guy pushing her towards me--she is ignoring me, pretty much. he slowly lifts her skirt. tan thighs, lavender panties, sexy, cheap, lacy. they guys make noise. she says, "no!" and giggles. you rest your hand on my head--again, moving slower than anyone else. i resist, but can't. i reach to her and lick gently with the end of a pointed tongue. it touches the fabric--i smell her musk, i am drawn, but scared. as soon as i make contact with her panties, the room is still. charged, hot, changed.
she is still--wanting a it a little, pulling back a little. the guys are hushed, watching. i realize i am on my knees with no options and she is standing, doing whatever she wants. she has freedom, i am nothing. i reach for her with my hands, run them up the back of her thighs. okay, bitch, i am going to make this a fucking work of art. i lick her thighs slowly and carefully, all the way up. i smell pussy, it is almost too intimate to be so close. i have never done this before.
