I admit it, 'my name is Jo, and I am addicted to decorating'. There, said it out loud, now get out of my way, I need to get to a new paint chart. Yup, I have issues with decorating, mainly that I will decorate one room, only to want to redecorate it about 12 months later. Now to me, this is quite normal, nothing odd about it at all. Hubby, well he sees it very differently.
"What's wrong with the way the lounge looks no?" he will bemoan as I suggest yet another makeover, after conning him into walking round a local D.I.Y store.
So here we were again, sat in the lounge, Hubby doing his best to ignore my excitement as I flicked through the Dulux colour chart, extolling the virtue of 'Ocean Mist' and 'Tranquil Dawn'. Hubby grunting the odd "Yes," when asked his opinion and I grumping back at him for clearly not listening. My usual tactic at these, times, is to sew the seed that I want to redecorate a large space, the lounge, the kitchen, etc. Then when Hubby has spent hours deriding the idea on the grounds of cost or upset to the house, I ask if I can therefore decorate a smaller room, like our bedroom or bathroom. Seeking some domestic harmony, he will usually, grudgingly, agree, result! This is exactly how it came to be that I found myself, one bright sunny afternoon, stood in the bathroom, with Garry, a reputable local painter and decorator, discussing my ideas for a total makeover.
Garry, is a real character, a stocky well muscled man in his fifties, who clearly looks after himself and works out. He also has an all year round tan, which his mates always joke about.
"How's the spray tan doing?" they will mock, jealous that he can well afford two or three holidays in the sun each year.
He's a great laugh too with a wicked smile and woman slaying eyes. Oh his eyes, yes...... I know, my well reported weakness, are sharp, bright blue and flash as he smiles and jokes. I'm sounding like I fancy him, and well, if I was being held at gunpoint, I might well admit that he's rather hot. Did I also say he wears, and I have never seen him in anything else, pristine white T-Shirts? Well he does and very nice they look too. They are tight, showing his well muscled arms and scattering of tattoos and are slipped under equally pristine white painters 'bib n braces'. Garry can, and well often is, quite 'flirty' but in a nice, happy, friendly kind of way and his strong North of England accent allows him to get away with more than perhaps he should. Garry, is the whole ladies package and I guess, he knows it.
So back to the bathroom, as I know you're all dying to know what it's like? No? Well it's not exactly palatial, but it's certainly not small, with plenty of room for a large, corner spa bath, a loo and sink naturally, and a separate large glass shower cubical. It's only been decorate, erh.......three or four times in the last six years, so, to my mind it was well ready for a makeover or at least a refresh.
Garry stood, a broad grin on his face, his thick brown arms folded, as he joked about being back in our house for the second time this year. We considered colours together, I wanted to go bright and earthy as we had been on holiday in a lovely little farmhouse in Southern Spain and it was all natural colours, all warm, earthy and cosy. Garry nodded his agreement and suggested that he got his colour charts from the van. On his return we talked tiles, then floor covering and all the while I stood, close, closer than I probably should have been to him, his warmth, personality and latent sexuality, dragging me, teenage girl like, into him. As we laughed about what Hubby would think, he roughly, in a 'matey kind way' put his arm around me and hugged me close to his chest.
"He'll warm to it," He smiled hugging me tight, "Trust me when he sees you in that spa bath covered in bubbles, all candle lit, he'll forget how much it's cost him," He laughed squeezing tighter. "I would," he laughed letting my shoulder go, as I rested my head animatedly onto his shoulder.
"Oh, Garry," I joked back, although I'm not sure how much joke was hidden within my comment, "You could join me anytime, there's room for two, maybe three."
Garry cracked another loud broad grin and half mocking laughed back, "You trying to get a discount Jo?" I was going too far and I stepped away from his hug, well, half a step away.
It was three weeks before Garry had a gap in his diary for us; he's a very popular and talented tradesman and much in demand. This fitted in great with us, as Hubby was going to be away for a few days and so would be the ideal time. He could come home to a finished job, not have to experience the disruption, the mess and there it would be, done! I might even be in the spa bath, surrounded by candles, as Garry had suggested who knows.....
Hubby had been gone a whole twenty-four hours, Garry's van was parked at the kitchen door, and there he was stood, unsurprisingly in his all white outfit, paper scraper in hand as I bounced out to greet him with a huge hug.
"Woah," He laughed, leaning in and wrapping his big arms around my waist. "Someone's happy to see me today," He grinned, almost picking me up "It's not always the case, trust me!"
Oh I was happy alright. Not only was I going to get my bathroom decorated, but I was going to get this vision of male sexiness where I could see him, for the next three days. Happy, I should say so. Now at this point you might be thinking, what a bitch, what about her loving husband? Well fear not reader. Hubby is very happy for me to 'enjoy' myself and as he says, my 'friends' are all good with him, as long as I don't get hurt. So there I was, making coffee and finding any number of excuses to 'pop' in and out of the bathroom as Garry, began the laborious task of stripping, sadly just my wallpaper, from the room so that he could begin filling any holes, no rude comments please you lot!!
"Here you go Garry," I offered, holding out a big mug of coffee, "Just as you like it, hot and wet." I laughed.
"You know me," he quipped, "The wetter, the better," before he roared with laughter, taking the mug and sitting it down on the window ledge.
The flirting continued all that day, until, sadly I stood in the paddock, waving as off he drove up the dirt track. That night, was long. There was no Hubby to keep me warm and satisfied. I felt miserable and always get like this when he's away for more than one night. It's like my body knows it will not be receiving any love, any love! I mean any sex. OH God, I needed those feelings and so, as on any number of occasions, I reached for my trusty bullet vibe and masturbated loudly until I came like a shaking train. My thoughts as I did were equally wild and might, just might, have included a threesome with Hubby and Garry in a spa bath, well a girl's entitled to dream isn't she?
Morning came to the farm as it often did, way too early and as I sat on the kitchen step having my wake up coffee the dogs barking in the yard, I smiled, today was first coat of paint day. I would get to see if my, well our, as Garry had made some suggestions too, colour scheme was a huge 'YES' or an 'ergh, what was I thinking of NO'. My worries and thoughts were rudely, well, excitedly interrupted by a loud 'TOOT, TOOT, TOOT' and there he was, well his van, as he was still only half way down the track. Someone's as excited as me I thought and hoped!
Garry, hug accomplished for the second time, stood, opener in hand and smiled.
"You ready," He asked, raising an eyebrow as he smiled, "Should we have a countdown?"
I shook my head animatedly, "Nope," I replied, "Just pop it open and let's see what we think."
There it was, as Garry carefully stirred the paint and after wiping the stick clean, dipped his brush and in one dramatic swipe, he painted the first load onto the wall. I would love to say there was a moments silence as we both analysed the colour and texture, but there wasn't.
"YEAHHHHH!" I screamed like a teenage girl at a concert, "It's perfect Garry, perfect." I jumped throwing my arms around him, nearly making him drop his brush. "Oh we are so, so good at this," I smiled as he gently held me.
He actually held me a little longer than I thought he would and in reality, probably should have, before he gently lowered me to the floor. I brushed wild hair from my face, and rearranged my top, as I made a slightly less enthusiastic departure from his arms and then the room, only stopping at the door to ask, "You need your morning coffee?"
The morning passed slowly, Garry's choice of music suited my mood with a mix of hits from the 80's, as you know, I'm and 80's girl and a bit of pop never did anyone any harm. I kept, just needing to pop in and check things, as you do. Garry sang badly to the tunes and all was good in the world. Lunchtime came soon after and on one of my 'pops' in to check progress, I watched as Garry, taking the shower head down from the unit began to spray the glass of the shower side, swishing it with his hand as he did so.
"Sorry Jo," he said as he realised I was in the room, "It's got a bit dust from sanding yesterday and I only just noticed, I'll give it a good going over for you," He added.
"Oh just leave it," I replied casually, "Dirty is o.k. with me." Garry burst out laughing at my rather inappropriate comment and for a moment I stood, confused as to what was amusing him.
"What?" I protested stepping towards him, "What's so funny?"
He continued to laugh, shaking his head in disbelief that I still didn't get the rudeness of my comment.
"Garry," I continued tapping him firmly on the shoulder, "What did I say?" I repeated, "What?"
As Garry continued to clean and laugh, I got frustrated like a toddler struggling to understand the rules of play. I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him hard, hard enough for him to slip and spin half towards me spraying water as he did. That was it, any anger fake or real was now gone as I burst out laughing too, arms flailing as the spray hit me square in the face and chest. Flapping like a bird I tried to stop the soaking but it was too late. I was drenched and Garry was laughing louder than before as he reached through the spray to press the shower button off.
He stood, shower head in hand still grinning and shaking his head at me, as I self mockingly stomped my foot, hands on hips and told him off.
"You did that on purpose, you clown," I said, with all the comic seriousness I could muster. "Look at me; I'm soaked, like a wet T-Shirt winner."
I was right too, my shirt was indeed soaked, I was soaked and the top of my tight jeans were soaked too.
"Well there's a new event for you at next year's farmers show," He mocked, "Wet T-Shirt contest, you'd smash it," He added looking at my shirt which was fast becoming transparent, revealing my push-up bra.
"I think you're supposed to be bra-less underneath," I suggested, "Think it's cheating if you're not," I added, cupping my big boobs and wobbling them in front of his gaze, a big daft grin on my face.
The moment hung like that for what seemed ages before anyone spoke, but when he did, I got a warm and excited tingle through my whole body, which I felt almost sure he could sense.
"I'd vote for you," He smiled, "Bra or no bra." Garry stopped as he was about to speak again. It was almost like he realised where this conversation might go next or perhaps the inappropriateness of the whole situation, but he smiled, reached out a big hand and wiped hair from my face, "Now another coffee would be great whilst I clean up your mess," He laughed, ducking his head as I faked a slap in his direction.
Waving him off again at the end of the day, left me feeling a little down and empty. Hubby would not be back for two days and my bathroom would be done by the end of tomorrow, all being well. All being well, hmmm, didn't feel that well to me. I sat glass of wine in hand that night, Cafe Del Mar playing quietly in the background and ate way more chocolate than was good for me. The rain rattled on the roof as I drifted off, without a thought of self pleasure on my mind and I dreamed of Hubbies return.
