I didn't know he had come back to the house. Probably because my eyes were closed and I was thrashing as the waves of pure heat and pleasure crashed through me. My screams were only slightly muffled by the ball gag. As the waves settled into little ripples, I half opened my eyes, floating.
That's when I saw that Patrick had stepped into the bedroom. He had left for work about twenty minutes before, but he must have forgotten something. He just stared at me, mouth hanging open, with a look of disgust and confusion. I had thought the sight of a naked girl with her legs open and bent, pussy swollen and soaking, petals open and showing the pink fire inside, would cause a smile. Instead he just stared with his face all screwed up in horror. The only sound in the room was the hum from my little rabbit vibe, and the louder hum from the vibe in my ass. Drool spilled from my gag and dripped down my chin.
"Puhhhgkkk" came out muffled as I tried to call his name, forgetting the gag.
He shook his head and left. The front door slammed.
Patrick was not into anything "weird and perverted" as he called it. Patrick was very pleasant, but he was also very bland. To him, I had just fucked Satan. I'm sure he masturbated, but I'm also sure he felt guilty after, and that he didn't use toys like I did.
That little scene ended our one year relationship. I wasn't heartbroken. I was relieved, I guess. But lost. So totally lost. I was twenty-four and I didn't know what I needed to feel whole and good. Or how to put out the constant fire inside me.
All the guys I had dated were dull and quiet. But my small experience with other women was different. Freshman year at college, when I was just 18, I was studying with a lovely girl, Debra. She was strong and smart and cute. After a long day in her dorm room, we ended up on the bed reading Cosmo, determined to shave our pussies the same. She began to measure my neatly trimmed little strip, but her fingers were so delicate on my silk, that each contact was a feather tickle, sending shivers of cold fire dancing across every bit of my flesh.
Her bouncy waves of blonde hair were caressing my hips as she studied the ruler, her warm breath on me, her blue eyes down. She never parted my slit, or entered me, she just touched as she measured. Looking back, she was probably teasing and torturing me, wondering what I would do.
Without thinking I pressed velvet petals to her fingers, and almost instantly the growing moisture was shiny, slippery, full on wetness. I started grinding, her still, almost rigid fingertips now poking into my hood as I moved, stretching it as my clit throbbed. Then I caught a full finger. I was so slippery it just slipped inside me. Debra didn't pull it out, she didn't even move it. Her finger froze and I fucked it like an animal in heat.
Rolling my hips, breathy grunts and whispers, pleading for another finger. Debra remained quite and then she met my eyes but I looked away and then down, riding the first fiery wave of pleasure building inside me. More grinding and fucking, feeling that finger slide in and out on silky slime, grinding on the plunge to mash my clit against her palm.
Still silent, still her eyes on me, her expression unreadable. Maybe embarrassed, maybe amused, maybe not amused and at her limit of putting up with me.
More fingers... I said in my head, but the words spilled out in a whimper, real words. Once said, once the embarrassment rushed over me, I became desperate and said it again and again and again.
Finally Debra slipped two more fingers inside me, pushing my velvet walls apart. Instinctively I squeezed them, fucking hard and grinding. My back arched off the bed as I rolled my hips, bare ass cheeks firm, plunging down, embarrassed but so needy.
Only my hoarse breathing and the squish-squish-squish of the fucking. Whimpers, desperate, I kept on those fingers, so helpless and horny. I couldn't stop, yet I felt so embarrassed, with Debra so quiet and stone-like. It seemed better to close my eyes and just go for it. Lightning drove deep into my core and I came in a great, jerky spasm around her fingers, a hoarse ahh broke out of my throat, rising into a scream.
I remember laying back against the pillow, my skin damp with sweat and my head swirling, and feeling way too embarrassed to open my eyes. I wished I could have just blinked to another place. But then a sweet, powerful smell was under my nose, and Debra's wet fingers pushed into my mouth and she laughed as I suckled them, as I drank in my own juice.
When I opened my eyes I was surprised to see her smiling, such a pretty face, and those sharp, blue eyes. I had an aftershock, a wave rippled inside me, and I looked to see that my inner thighs were wet.
She laughed.
It wasn't a "share the joy" laugh. She was amused at my helpless need. She saw me as pathetic. Sweet Debra turned out not to be sweet.
From then on she controlled me. I did chores, painted her toe nails (with plenty of toe suckling), anything and everything she wanted, always under threat of her telling all our friends, the whole school, that I was a puppy in heat, so pathetic I helplessly fucked her fingers. Debra treated me like a dog. At school I had no social status, just her eager yes-girl.
She made me lick her pussy all the time, which I should have enjoyed because she was so sexy and gorgeous. But she would pinch my clit really hard just before, so with the throbbing pain it was all I could do to concentrate on pleasuring her. If I licked too slow or too fast or she didn't cum hard enough, I'd get the table tennis paddle on the ass, hard! Hard enough to not be able to sit without excruciating pain for a day. She took great joy watching me squirm in my seat in any classes we shared.
One time Debra made me lick her when she had her period. She said cumming would make her feel better. I think she really just liked the idea that I was such a pathetic thing I would suffer any humiliation. The blood tasted kind of chalky and acidy, but I made such an effort to make her cum. She did.
After that, Debra kept a picture of me on her pin board, with my blood smeared lips and cheeks and nose. She hid it behind a picture of us at a party. If I behaved, it was just a pic of two happy college girls. But if I didn't, there was the threat of flipping up the top picture and revealing the little puppy girl, bloodied face to the camera.
I was terrified.
The next semester Debra dropped out to live with some guy she met. I was so scared that Debra would tell everyone or show the picture around on her last day, but she didn't. She handed me the picture, and pulled my head into her car and kissed me, long and sweet. Then with teary eyes, she drove off.
I know she wasn't much of a Domme, just an 18 year old girl drunk with power. That one kiss didn't make me realize I was a submissive, but it did make me feel good. I had endured lots of things that made me scared or humiliated or embarrassed at the time, but after that kiss, I would have done them all again.
