Jade Unicorn Ch 05

If you're following along from the start, thank you! If you're cumming in here for the first time, you might enjoy the prior chapters, but you don't need to read them to enjoy these scenes. In brief, Jude, a graduating anthropology student has made it her quest to fully understand human sexual behavior. She's hooked up with Elroy, a (slightly) older student with far more experience. Please let me know, via comments and/or ratings how much you enjoy this segment. I have had a lot of fun writing it. -ek.

We drove separately, which felt a little awkward, as I had a ton of questions for her. Luckily, the shop wasn't too far from my house, which meant I'd have little time to ruminate. Still, I was eager to get answers. We'd said our goodbyes to Tracy, so at least some of my theories about them were wrong; I'd figured she was a new member of the household.

Jade had already arrived and by the time I got in, she'd already undressed.

"Ooohhh. This is going to be so cool!!" She was admiring the jewelry in the front hall mirror. "I only wish you'd gotten something too!"

I wrapped her in my arms, careful not to touch her breasts, pulling her backwards against me so I could enjoy her new look with her. "Permawelds? Really? Accessories for your nipple rods? If I didn't know you as well as I do, I'd say you've become fascinated by the toys in the dungeon…did they grow on you? Literally?" I nodded to the stainless rings glinting from between her legs.

She blushed. The first time I'd seen her turn color in weeks…maybe more.

"Maybe," she sighed, relaxing into me. "I'm sorry I can't have sex for so long. Six months! Who can wait that long? That's another reason I wanted you to do it with me."

I shook my head. "

You

can't have sex, but that doesn't mean

I

can't have sex. Did you think Tracy might be open to joining us?"

Her mouth dropped open and the color returned in force. "Whaaa? Nooo. Did you think…oh my god…I…really?" She turned to look at me directly. "Did you really think…Tracy?"

I shrugged. "She seemed nice. Very interested in your anatomy. Is she a good film maker?"

She stuttered for a few moments. "Ummm, she's trans, Elroy! You know that right?"

I shrugged again. "What does that have to with anything? She had a vibe. She was cute. She seemed into you. Is she not into guys?"

She slapped my shoulder in disbelief. "Now you're just fucking with me. You'd…really?"

It was my turn to look confused. "Seriously? You don't think I'd be open to Tracy having fun with us? Now I'm a little hurt. How long have we been together? What could possibly lead you to think that way?"

She just held my arms tight, shaking her head. "I'm sorry…you're right. It's just…I was…I've been really…we need to talk." She breathed in hard and exhaled, searching my face for something.

"Sure! Right now?"

What is going on? Would I get a clue about her behavior this past several weeks…months even?

We moved to the den, curling up together on one of the sofas. I waited, my arm gently rubbing her arm.

"This is really hard for me, Elroy. I'm…I don't even know how to start."

I looked at her face and shifted positions so we could face each other. "Start at the beginning…maybe that will make it easier." I was prepared for anything: she was disappointed in our relationship, in me, with her life, she wanted to break up, move out, move

in, get married.

I waited.

"When I started researching human sexual behavior, I found most of the references discussing male behavior, the patriarchy, and asymmetrical power dynamics."

I nodded, remembering that phase.

"But I couldn't believe there wasn't an alternative narrative, that in all of human history there weren't other lines of inquiry and discourse. Which, of course, there are!"

I nodded, waiting.

"So, I've been trying to make those narratives real for

me

, to change the dynamics around me." She looked at me and waited.

I raised my eyebrows, inviting her to continue.

"Don't you see? All the stuff we've been doing? I've been trying to follow these non-patriarchal story lines, power dynamics…right?"

"I understand, I guess. But does that explain the mysterious sex we've been having, or…this?" I waved my hands.

She turned away, her face a mixture of emotion. "Yeah…I mean sort of… I mean…some of it…but…" She leaned into me and sighed. "It's not working…"

"I'm not sure I understand, Jade. You've been trying to change the dynamics between us, on your own? And…what's not working about it?"

"You." She said simply.

"Me?" My eyebrows shot up. Not defensively, just not understanding.

"Yeah. I've been doing everything I can to have you play by different rules, and nothing's changed."

This was getting a little weird.

"But what's worse is that I'm not into it!" She buried her face in her hands and started laughing, or maybe crying. Definitely getting weird.

"Jade." I held her close. "What are you talking about?"

She shook her head a little. "Lise told me you wouldn't change, and now I see she's right. Why did you let her go?"

What?

"Umm,

let

her go? She's a grown woman. She's got a thriving business. Why would she give that up because I didn't 'let' her?

"Jade. This is very confusing. I'm trying to understand but it's not making sense. Can I repeat back what I heard so you can tell me what I missed?"

She nodded, waiting.

"Okay. 1. You recognized so much of the historical narratives around sex are predominantly male-centric. 2. You found alternative narratives which you were using to try and change your own dynamics…with me…,but 3. It hasn't been working and it's because of me. 4. You're not even sure you'd be happy if it was working.

"What am I missing?"

"That's it."

"What am I doing that's preventing you from changing the narrative?"

"Nothing. That's just it. You're not

doing

anything. You do exactly what I want, and you don't do anything. How do I know I'm changing things when you don't do anything?"

I screwed up my face. "Do you mean I don't initiate sex with you?"

Because I sure as hell do!

"No. It's not like that. You're an amazing lover. You couldn't do more than you're doing for me."

I just shook my head, eyebrows raised.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not getting through to you. It's like Lise said: 'You're so into you, you don't see what we see.' But that's not bad!" She could see my reaction. "It's just that we, I, er she, need to be more obvious with you to get the message across." She held out her hands, as if that would make things clearer.

My head was going six different directions. "Lise…said what? When? Obvious, how?"

She held my arm across her belly, her warmth reminding me what she felt like, why I enjoyed being with her.

"You are a beautiful man, Elroy, and I am awed by your brilliance. But as smart as you are, sometimes you can be so dumb. Let me try it this way: I've been trying to change our dynamic

for over 3 months

so that you are the instrument of my pleasure, a complete reversal of the patriarchy. Don't you get it?

"I promised myself I wouldn't tell you, because that would make it too easy, but after this," she waved her hands toward the piercings, "I don't know how much more obvious I can make it."

Lost. I was totally lost.

Maybe she's right. Maybe I'm an idiot.

"Wait. And you were discussing this with

Lise?

And she said I'd never get it? And, hold on, wait," I held up my hand to make space, "you've been trying to subvert the patriarchy by somehow, unilaterally, without telling me, or asking me, creating a different power dynamic between us? And Lise was in on this? And she thought it was a good idea?"

Shit. If that's what's been going on, it'll be my turn to put a stop to it.

"That's about as far from honesty and transparency as we could get, Jade!"

Not to mention just stupid.

No, not stupid; naïve. But why would Lise even let her consider it? "Can you tell me, exactly, what Lise said when you talked about it?" Maybe something was salvageable from the last year.

She could see how angry I was getting, her eyes growing wide, her hands holding tighter to my arm, pressing it against her skin. "Nononono. That's not it! It wasn't…isn't like that at all! Oh god, Elroy, no! That would be a horrible idea! I

have

been totally honest and completely transparent about this! It's just you haven't been hearing me… or Lise!"

I could feel my body reacting: my heart rate increasing, my blood pressure rising, my vision narrowing. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, slowly, imagining the place where I find peace.

"Elroy? Are you angry? Please don't be angry. Fuck." Her voice started to waver. "I don't want to start crying, damnit!"

I nodded slightly, raising a finger to acknowledge her, while focusing on reducing the adrenaline rush. After a few more moments, I exhaled and hugged her. "Let me try again. I wasn't getting angry. I was feeling threatened. I don't like feeling threatened. I don't like being confused. I feel as if I've been manipulated, by you and Lise, and I very much don't want to believe that. I have very strong feelings for both of you, but what you've been saying feels very wrong to me. So let me try to understand again.

"You say that both of you have been totally open about this, but you said a minute ago that you 'didn't want to tell me because that would be too easy.' That sounds like you were trying out an experiment, is that a better way of framing it?"

She had tears in her eyes, her mouth pressed closed, the corners downturned. She nodded slightly.

"And you discussed it with Lise to see how you might make it work?" It hit me. "Oh! This was an extension of your diary study. For your thesis. A 'first-hand' experience you could explore, right?"

She nodded, tears dripping down her cheeks.

I breathed in and out. "But," I paused to make sure I was saying the next thing as carefully as possible, "isn't there a process…protocol…to make sure people are safe? Did it occur to you, or your advisers, that this might do harm?" I hugged her to let her know I wasn't angry, but that she had put me in harm's way.

"But I tried," she said, her voice catching. "I did!" Her hands clenching, revealing her frustration. "But it was hard! You seemed to get it when I'd try. Remember when I wanted to see the dungeon for the first time? I

told

you I wanted to go, to understand the power relationship

firsthand

in an entire

room

outfitted with

equipment

especially for domination." She looked at me, pleading. "And you said, 'You want me to introduce you to that kind of sex?' Don't you remember? And I said it was impossible for me to understand it just from watching porn or reading the literature.

"

And I said it was for my study and that you were to act as if I was an instrument of your pleasure.

You remember? And then I explained that I wanted to understand the patriarchy's belief in objectification of women's bodies so I could find an analog.

"I said all that, and you laughed and said 'Okay,' and then you brought me downstairs and did the most amazing things to me

…with

me."

She was sobbing at the end, from frustration I figured. But I remembered that first time, and I barely remembered that specific interchange, the word 'analog,' sparking bemusement. And I remembered the next several times, when she asked me to show her the other toys and positions, and her growing fascination, or maybe it was desire, with that part of the house.

"Yes," I acknowledged, "we had that conversation. Did you introduce all of your explanations in the same way? And did you get a sense I had been provided informed consent?

"Isn't that a requirement for any human subject experiment, not to mention having sex with someone on campus, right? Isn't that what the handbooks all say?"

She smiled and laughed through her tears at the last part, nodding.

"So, with a straight face, Jade, do you really believe you offered me informed consent for your series of…experiments?"

"I…" she started tentatively, "I really thought of them more as journeys, or self-interventions…I…I…" She quieted and buried her face in my neck. "I'm sorry. I…I'm so sorry." She broke down and cried for real, bringing her arms around me into an embrace. After a long while she settled

. I've

been the idiot, haven't I?"

I had had time to think, and I remembered our first dinner together, my concerns about her youth, and then later, Lise's questions. We had both been stupid; there was plenty of blame to share. I backtracked to a different point she'd just been trying to make. "The dungeon…you asked me to make you an instrument of my pleasure, but just before that you were talking about me being an instrument of

your

pleasure…and it wasn't working. It wasn't working because I wasn't doing anything. Did you mean that you couldn't tell if I was becoming an instrument of your pleasure because I wasn't doing anything different from what you'd been experiencing before?"

She hiccuped and nodded.

I grunted slightly, shaking my head. "But objectification, isn't what I

do

, Jade. Right? It's about pleasure, but mutual pleasure, not

making you an instrument.

Except when it's mutual. When you asked me to introduce you to the dungeon, you explicitly said you

wanted

to be my instrument. But you never extended the same courtesy…erm…invitation to

me.

"You can't force someone to be your instrument. I mean, people do, but it's just a different form of violence…of rape. You understand that, right?

"And…I'm confused about Lise's role in this. I'm having trouble believing she would feel differently about all that…which is why I'm curious to know what you two talked about, exactly." I paused. "But no. I don't want to have that conversation with just you; Lise needs to be a part of it. That can wait until we can talk together."

I stared at her, her face, her new jewelry glinting in the slivers of sunset through the den windows.

"And finally, this," I waved at her pierced body, "and your comment that you don't even want it anymore, wait, what did you just say? 'I'm not into it anymore?'"

She whimpered and shook her head. "I like being the focus of your desire. I like it when you get hard just staring at me, even if I'm totally dressed." She started out quietly, embarrassed. "I get so wet, late at night when I remember how I can make you moan, just by peeling my underwear down and exposing myself to you. I don't want to stop that!"

Sheesh. So fucking young.

What did Lise say to me?

'She

thinks

she knows what she wants, but she

feels

very differently.'

At the time we were talking about something entirely different…at least I had been; maybe Lise had meant this. I stared at her jewelry.

"And this?" I pointed at her nipples, swollen and red. "Is this you telling me you want to

permanently

, be

an

instrument of my desire?"

The choice of article wasn't lost on her. Her mouth dropped and she shivered a little, her nipples vibrating at the movement of her breasts.

"I…maybe," she said breathlessly, almost too quietly to hear. "I don't know. That's why I wanted you get something too. I can't stand that I'm buying into the patriarchy! That you aren't meeting me half-way and that I'm letting it happen!"

Oh.

Now

I got it

. That wasn't going to be a problem. All sorts of pieces suddenly clicked into place. She needed assurance that her new found submissive pleasures were a mutual negotiation, not relinquishing her principles. "Nothing would give me greater pleasure than for you to be the focus of my desire, Jade…except being the focus of yours."

She melted, her eyes overflowing, her arms tightening around me.

She breathed softly for a while, our pulses keeping time "But…what about…does that mean, Lise…or someone else…that there might be…room to have others with us?"

Hmmm. She wasn't finished with that part of her studies; or maybe she'd truly gotten into it.

"Nothing's changed, Jade," I replied, thinking through the possibilities. "You've just come to an important realization about your needs, about the things you've come to understand about yourself.

"This," I waved my hands, "'survey course' you've been exploring, it's been a great idea, actually. Too few people have had the chance to learn about all the different ways they might experience pleasure. You've been privileged to discover something so core to your desires." I leaned in to kiss her.

When I pulled away, her face was looking down at her new jewelry, or maybe at my erection pushing at my zipper. Her vulnerability was a turn-on for me; she'd zero'd in on that correctly. Getting to the honesty, finally, was a turn-on for me. She nicked on her lower lip as her expression lit up. "I…I'm too sore to even think about it, but I want to do something to help you. I don't even want to think about it. I just want to be with you, to give you pleasure; that actually makes me horny!" She reached down to undo my pants, slipping them down past my knees. Her face was thoughtful, in spite of her words, her eyes unfocused as she lightly stroked my erection through my boxers. Her expression shifted, her eyes focusing on my face. "Did you enjoy watching Jerome shave me today? Do you like seeing me bare? How about when he clamped my nipples? Or my lips? Did you wish it was you doing that?"

Her enthusiasm came on like a light switch, the pensive, embarrassed shyness disappeared, replaced with an eagerness, her arousal suddenly channeled. Focused. Intentional. Each question, each stroke, sparked a memory from the past couple of hours.

I laughed. "I'm seeing you spread open, for anyone to see, Tracy videoing you, the station entrance open to the rest of the room, just like your entrance, your smell was all around us. You were so on fire, weren't you?"

She nodded, a blush traveling from her face down her neck,

so long since she's blushed!

squeezing my shaft through the fabric, giggling as it pulsed in response. "I'm on fire now," she said quietly. "Weirdly, this is helping with the pain." She peeled back the boxers' waistband, reaching in with her hand to shift my cock up, exposing its head, the elastic pressing against the shaft. Her finger toyed with the flesh just beneath the head, slightly grazing the purple margin, perhaps by accident or on purpose. I breathed out through my diaphragm.

"I like when you make that noise. I want to hear you make that noise over and over again." She lifted her finger and sat back, staring at me. "It was so fun today! I loved being exposed! I didn't know they were going to do it that way! Nothing prepared me for that part. Do you think they do it on purpose?"

Wow. Mercurial.

I shook my head, both as a response and a reaction to her quick shifts, and grunted, my cock straining against its restraint, pulsing to lift a half inch above my pubic bone. She had laid back against the couch cushions, her nipples and labia deep red, the wounds oozing slightly, her aroma drifting up in an invisible cloud. She leaned towards me again, her finger tracing a path from my balls, hidden beneath the fabric, up my cloth covered shaft, stopping just before the exposed skin. Again and again, idly toying with me, watching how hard she could make me.

"I've been looking at accessories," she said offhandedly, her finger lifting, her palm, open, hovering above my glans. I could feel her warmth radiating on it. I pulsed, but she kept her distance. "I'll show you!" She reached for her phone, ignoring me momentarily. "Here!"