It started innocently enough. Well, not really. Brett and I had been friends since high school. Never really romantically involved though. After college we both found ourselves in careers while most of our friends were married and started families. We were spending more time with each other. Again, not in a romantic sense. Both of us dated, Brett more than me. Neither of us were a stunning Adonis or Venus but we were not unattractive. Our relationship made sense, platonic and safe. Each of us trusting the other affording some intimacy when we would otherwise have been alone.
Back to starting not so innocently. We had come back to my place after our work outs one Friday evening. The plan was to eat take out and then go our separate ways. However, a couple of bottles of wine later we found ourselves still talking. I was several glasses ahead of her - after all, I would not be driving home. I had also been stressed at work and had an increasing mid-twenties angst of not moving my life in a direction consistent with who I was.
Then Brett asked the fateful question. "Jake, what would you change in your life if you could?"
Usually I responded to questions of this sort by replying vaguely about a relationship, some type of idealized partner to make me similar to all my friends. But I stammered. I don't know why, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was my trust in Brett, maybe it was the need to be honest.
"I, uh, I think uh... " Pausing I looked to Brett and then looked down at my glass of wine. It was a sensuous shade of red.
"Jake, it's me, Brett. You can say it, really." She looked earnest like a person who is pleasantly buzzed and feels all is right with the world.
I sighed deeply and hesitantly. I noticed my words had slurred a little. Maybe this confession would not be a good idea and I would have post-alcohol regret in the morning. Two deep breaths later I slowly responded, "You know that book Fifty Shades?"
"Yah, why?" Her eyebrows were raised wondering what was coming next.
I closed my eyes and answered, "I am a submissive, deeply submissive. It's who I am to the core and I need to express it in a relationship to feel whole."
Brett suppressed a chortle. I must have looked hurt because the expression of mirth in her eyes changed to concern and seriousness. "I'm sorry. I thought you were going to tell me you were gay. That's what most of us thought when your last couple of relationships flopped."
I appreciated her response. In times past women had felt threatened and expressed disgust when I confessed this. At least Brett listened.
"That's why the last two failed. Susan simply said 'No' and wondered about my psychological health. Carly, well ..." I sighed, "with Carly I could not control the demon." I shook my head. My wine addled brain had lost its filter.
"What do you mean by 'submissive'?" Brett looked mischievous.
"I need to give up control and have someone take control," I replied while looking at the floor. I felt like I was in a confessional.
"You mean sexually or ... more than that?"
"Well more than that. But it starts with sexual control." I looked at her. She was interested and curious.
"So my experience with men is they can't put the words 'sexual' and 'control' in the same sentence. They always find a way to have sex, even if they are alone." Brett laughed and I smiled with her. She was right after all.
"There are ways to do it" I said.
Brett paused. She looked at me and smiled. It was like she was in a poker game and was calling my bluff. "Oh yah, show me." Her smile broadened as if she dared me to go further.
My rational brain was screaming "STOP!" but the wine muffled this scream and it seemed distant in my psyche. I went out of the room and returned with my plastic chastity cage. I had a sense this might lead down a rabbit hole that I could not return from.
"Does it really work?" Brett took the cage from my hand and looked at it from different angles, rotating it in her hand. "How does it go on?"
"The ring goes around the penis and balls. The cage fits into the pegs and a lock inserts in that hole. To make it really work the guy has to have a piercing with a ring inserted in the end of his penis. Then you insert something through the ring and you can't pull the penis out."
Brett continued to look at the cage. She refilled our wine glasses - mine fully and hers with only a taste. "Ok, I'll do it. You will wear the cage and I will control the access. Let's toast Jake. You are starting on your journey."
"Hold onto the cage Jake where I can see it." Brett took out her iPhone and flashed a picture.
............
I awoke the next morning with a bit of a headache. As usual I rambled out of bed and checked my e-mails. There was one an hour ago from Brett labeled "Piercing Today" with an attachment.
I opened the attachment and there was my picture holding the cock cage definitely looking drunk. God, I had forgotten about all that. I wanted to take it all back but something deep inside told me "no" so I suppressed the urge to write Brett back with some sort of retraction.
"Jake - found this place to get your piercing. We have an appointment at 1:00. See you there!"
Wow, I guess it was really happening. She was so matter of fact about it. I was a little confused and did not know what to think. But I showed up at the piercing studio 20 minutes early. Brett was there waiting for me.
"Might as well get started on your path" she said with a smile. The corners of her eyes crinkled. I had not notice how attractive that was in the past.
"Yah, but my head is pounding. Are you sure you want to go here with me? This can be a consuming path."