"Funny man! Zeez are not for zhou," a busty woman burst through the bead curtain and corrected him. She cupped his chin and examined the depths of his eyes. "Mahndee sends you vith me so come along now." She hooked a finger into his collar and tugged him out of the chair. He followed her billowing dress and corset through the beads to the back room.
"Tea?" she offered, as she settled onto a brocade settee and patted the spot next to him. Before he could answer, she had poured water into a little kettle and lit a small gas burner. "Ve talk vhile it heats."
Joseph sat down, intent on keeping his wits about him.
* * *
Joseph wakened feeling refreshed and ready for a day. He lazed through the weekend morning, showered, and was ready for errands with Mandy. Mandy had "that look" about her and he was looking forward to some extracurricular activities after they got the shopping done. As they walked into the garage and he reached to close the door to the house, she asked, "Did you remember everything?"
Joseph paused for a moment and answered. "I think so."
"Didn't forget anything?" she prompted.
"Nope," he replied, and shut the door.
Mandy twinkled at him and they got into the car and were on their way. As he drove, Joseph thought that he caught her staring at his lap but but didn't dwell on it.
As Joseph pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store, Mandy rested her hand on his knee. This, he liked! "You know," she began, "you're pretty hot right now." As he pulled the car into a parking space, she slipped her hand up along his bare thigh, inside the leg of his shorts, and touched the head of his Johnson. Joseph about crashed the car. "Oh dear!" Mandy feigned surprise, "You don't seem to be wearing any underwear. Did you forget them?"
Seriously confused, and sporting a growing boner, Joseph shoved the gearshift into park. "I... uh.... no... I put some on," he stammered.
"Really? Maybe I missed it," Mandy retorted, exploring his private parts most intimately. "Nope. You forgot 'em," she declared.
Joseph groaned as she withdrew her hand.
"Drive home and get some," Mandy commanded. Since clearly she was not going to be more interesting in the busy parking lot, he did. Throughout the drive, Mandy kept touching his bare thigh and slipping her fingers up into his shorts. Whenever the car was stopped, she touched and teased his head. When the car was moving, she only played along the inside of his thigh. Joseph groaned again when she refused to get out of the car in the driveway, sending him into the house alone to finish dressing.
In the bedroom, Joseph stripped off his shorts, his boner standing at attention and refusing to subside. This is going to be awkward, he thought to himself, as he pulled a pair of jockey shorts out of his drawer and considered packing his rod inside them.
A couple minutes later, Joseph slid back into the driver's seat. In response to Mandy's query, he assured her that he had not forgotten anything this time. She just stared at the bulge in his lap and observed, "It's good to see that you haven't forgotten my touch!" He just scowled at her, wishing that he could get his erection to subside; this was seriously uncomfortable.
As he again pulled into the parking lot, Mandy again slipped her hand inside Joseph's shorts and again startled him with her ready access to the now dripping head of his cock. He hastily parked, quite crooked but without hitting any other cars, as Mandy tut-tutted, "Oh dear! You do seem to have forgotten your underwear again." All this while she massaged a drop of pre-cum into his head.
Joseph's head was swimming. All he wanted was out of his own pants and into Mandy's. All he heard was, "I think you'd better wait here. You aren't decent to be out in public, buddy boy." With that, she was out of the car, leaving him to puzzle out his situation.
Twenty minutes later, Mandy returned with a cart full of groceries and demanded help loading them into the trunk. Joseph, horny as hell and harder than ever, sidled out of the car to do his lady's bidding without showing himself to the whole world. He had managed to remember a little bit of the previous day: entering the shop but nothing more. "Zsa Zsa?" he asked.
"Ja ja!" Mandy laughed in response. Joseph started to protest about being laughed at but Mandy cut him off sharply with, "That'll do!" To Joseph's complete bafflement, his boner evaporated in a heartbeat. He drove them home and carried the bags inside. At Mandy's instruction, he again went into the bedroom to finish dressing. Sure enough, he saw his underwear sitting on the foot of the bed, unworn. He stripped off his shorts so that he could get fully dressed.
Thirty minutes later, Mandy and Joseph were seated at their favorite bar, for a lunch and a beer. Maud, the tattooed redhead barmaid, was walking toward them carrying their beers when Mandy reached under the table, inside Joseph's shorts, and grabbed his all-too-accessible cock. He yelped and Maud grinned as she set down the mugs. "Y'all enjoy now," she winked.
"Joseph," Mandy cooed, "you seem to have forgotten your underwear
again
." Her hand was wrapped tightly around his growing rod and he was failing miserably at maintaining his cool. He was
sure
that he had put on underwear and Mandy's hand felt too fucking good and this was all so confusing.... Lunch was a mess for Joseph. Mandy chattered like a sparrow, gaily touching his super-sensitive manhood from time to maddening time. Joseph tried to eat but barely got any food down. He did better with his beer. He also tried to relax his anatomy into a publicly presentable state but made absolutely zero progress.
Lunch finished, bill paid, Mandy stood up to go. Joseph miserably had to admit to her, "Uh, I can't. I'm not decent." Mandy laughed so loud and hard that everyone in the bar turned and looked. "That'll do!" she proclaimed and French kissed him deeply as his boner subsided again. "Now come along!" Mandy ordered and stalked out of the bar. Joseph followed in complete confusion. He had never before gone limp in the middle of a kiss.
Mandy slipped her hand into Joseph's shorts as he pulled into the garage. His erection sprang back to life. Once out of the car, Mandy led him into the house where she pushed the leg of his shorts up, exposing his penis. His cock firmly in her hand, she led him to the bedroom. Joseph's head swam when he saw his underwear, still on the foot of the bed, unworn. "I think," Mandy began, "that you have proven so unreliable that I will have to tell you step-by-step what to do." And she did... beginning with undressing her... and massaging her... and kissing her... and licking her... and sucking on her... and by the time she finally allowed Joseph to enter her, she was most thoroughly wet (having cum many times) and he was most thoroughly ready.
Joseph fucked Mandy to three orgasms and was getting close himself. He lay atop Mandy, pumping away. Her right arm was wrapped tight around his neck, holding him down. Her left hand was at his hip, tickling him into motion every time he started to tire. After Mandy came a fourth time, she husked into Joseph's ear, "That'll do!" and, to Joseph's horror, his cock shrank away to nothing. Stroke as he might, he could not save the day. He rolled off, frustrated and embarrassed.
Mandy cuddled and consoled him and fell asleep, snuggled against his chest.
* * *
Over the next week, Joseph (always a slow learner) learned three things. First, the only way he could actually get out of the house wearing underwear was when Mandy personally put it on him. If he tried to do it himself, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he concentrated, Mandy's explorations always made him vividly aware of how underdressed he was. Second, when Mandy touched him in this way, Joseph got instantly hard and nothing he did could make his cock relax, not even imagining cleaning the bathtub. Third, the thing he most dreaded hearing Mandy say was, "That'll do" because it always killed his erection instantly.
Life was not completely frustrating for Joseph. They had sex every day, always including Mandy touching and teasing her boy toy into frenetic bedroom activity. She floated through life, grinning like an oversexed fool. She even let Joseph once a week, just enough to keep his from staying angry.
Within a month, Joseph forgot all about Zsa Zsa, just as she had promised Mandy that he would. If nothing else, he could take satisfaction in the satisfied Mandy's oversexed smile.