(written by Arin, edited and enhanced by Molly)
The Police Chief from my home town spoke on the phone, trying to use a calm, gentle voice. The kind they always use when delivering bad news. When I heard that tone of voice, I immediately sat down. And in moments, as I heard her news, I knew sitting had been the right thing to do.
"Robin... there's... no... easy way to say this, except that I'm very sorry. This evening, we had a bad storm and the roads were slick. Your parents were driving home and got caught in it." She paused. "Well, they lost control and crashed. I'm sorry to say the crash resulted in a double fatality. Again, I'm truly sorry for your loss."
Just like that, Mom and Dad were gone! When the full reaction set in, my heart ached and I sobbed and sobbed. I felt bereft, and wished I'd visited them more often. At this point I was in my early thirties. I'd been living in another state and had only been back for special occasions and Christmas over the years, and I regretted not making more of an effort. Now I had to take time off from my work and travel home to make the funeral arrangements. Luckily, my parents had pre-planned it all pretty thoroughly, so I just had to sign a few papers, and pick some music and flowers.
After the funeral, I went back to my parent's house, the place that I truly felt was 'home' for me. It was a mixed blessing. It felt good to be surrounded by that familiar environment, but being there also reminded me of Mom and Dad over and over, and I used up plenty of handkerchiefs, soaking them with my tears. Since I was an only child, it was no surprise that when their wills were read, other then a few bequests for some good charities, the rest of their estate went to me, including the house. Fortunately, I was able to switch my job and move back into what I'd always considered my home.
After a while, being in the house now helped me feel closer to them, and the memories that were beginning to surface as I lived there gave me joy more often than sorrow. Some of that might be due to the aroma of Mom's favorite patchouli which was stronger in her closet and her chest of drawers. The smell of wood shavings in the basement made me think more about Dad when he was being the handyman of the house. When straightening things up a bit, I found some old picture albums in a cabinet, and leafing through them helped me reflect on my life. I'd been very fortunate to have such loving, supportive parents, and I thanked them in my heart.
One picture made me pause. My Dad was lifting a sapling tree along with its root ball off the roof of his car as I watched. "Oooo... I remember that day so clearly! Dad was so helpful and encouraging!" Seeing that image brought back a flood of memories, so I sat back on the sofa, and thought about all those years ago. My parents had moved to this house in a quiet, peaceful neighborhood. As a young girl, I loved the woods all around the area. In those days, I'd explore the woods, pretending I was being chased, sometimes by pirates, sometimes by wild animals. I had a vivid imagination, and it resulted in good exercise. One day I thought it would be nice to plant a tree in a clearing so that from that day forward, it would be known as my tree -- my special tree.
I had my allowance back then, but, being impatient, I also took babysitting jobs, mowed lawns and things, and saved up my money. When I had enough, my Dad drove me to buy a tree. The tree nursery had many saplings, and I strolled around until one seemed to call out to me. I bought that sapling, and watched as Dad strapped it carefully onto our car. Then we drove home. This picture was taken by my Mom as Dad was getting my sapling off the roof of his car.
Dad asked, "Do you want me to help you plant your sapling, Robin?"
I answered, "I'd really like this to just be my project, Dad." I lifted the sapling. "See? I can carry it," I assured him.
Smiling he stated, "OK. But if you decide you need my help, just let me know." With that, he and Mom went back into the house.
First I carried the sapling to a pretty meadow I'd chosen, then I went back to get a shovel. Digging the hole was harder than I thought, but finally it was deep enough. I carefully lowered the root ball into it, and covered it with the dirt from the hole. I had to lug a few pails of water to wet the roots, and give it a healthy start until the rains could take over. Over the next several years it drew straight and tall. I love visiting the meadow and seeing my tree -- this was my secret place. But as will happen, as I grew up, I found less and less time to visit my tree. And when I got my job, I had to move to another state for it. And I seldom thought of my special tree after that. Until now. Closing the photo album, I looked out at my back yard and wondered about my tree. I hadn't seen it in years, and was curious about what had happened to it. Was it even still alive?
I had to look. I started toward the back forest and realized just how much things had changed. Now, everything looked so much bigger and different from when I was younger. The trees were taller and thicker and the forest floor was covered in leaves and branches. Inhaling the scent of green growing things mixed with the earthy perfumes of nearby wildflowers, I strolled ahead.