Initial Experiences
My first submissive experience – sucked...and not literally, to say the least. I had met an individual through the net who claimed to be a Dom and talked a very good act. Came across as a Dom, sounded like a Dom – gave directions like you would expect a Dom to give. After a couple months, I decided that I would risk and explore submission with this man who came out from Vancouver, British Columbia to meet with me in Edmonton, Alberta. After tying me up with horse hobbles and putting clothes pegs at various body orifices, he then proceeded to have intercourse with various orifices...not my idea of a good time since I did not know what to expect, did not know the man, had no introduction as to what was going to happen, etc. etc. etc. Count myself lucky that he didn't take long to cum and it took even less time for me to dress and get out of there.
I was not particularly eager to repeat this performance and so have been extremely hesitant to have anything to do with Doms since that time. However my curiosity has continued to grow because of all the many different ideas and perceptions, beliefs and values I have heard and discussed with others on the net.
So, I was in the market for a lover – again – the last situation having died a natural death with a young man who eventually went his way (thank god) and me going mine. His biggest idea of kink was having me spank him to the point where my hand hurt – so I can imagine his butt. Aside from that sex was pretty mundane – "uhg, man on top" – double "ugh, woman on top." Oral sex was considered a "high risk" exchange of bodily fluids and his experience and imagination were limited or perhaps his imagination was limited by his experience (or lack of). I was grateful to be getting at least some sort of sex so in spite of not achieving many orgasms – continued the affair until it died it's natural death over approximately 2 years. What can I say; I was easy to please, at least for a short period in my otherwise asexual life.
After this relationship ended, I went back to my original hunting grounds and again, met and declined a number of invitations however one meeting kept coming back to haunt me...there was something about that man, it made me uncomfortable yet I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I'm not sure if it was his attitude, his presentation, and his beliefs and/or just me being spooky but either way I turned him down...flat.
A week later, another email – "I can't stop thinking about you," it said. "If I'm being a nuisance, please just ignore this email but there's something about you that keeps you in my mind." I agreed, there was something about him that kept him in my mind as well but probably not in the same warm fuzzy spots that he had. Either way, I chatted back with him a couple of times and told him honestly – I wasn't sure what it was about him but something kept me feeling a little stand-offish and I wasn't sure what it was. In the meantime, I continued meeting with different fellows and choosing not to pursue or they chose not to pursue furthering a potential relationship.
One morning, I received an email from this disturbing man and I decided I was tired of sitting on the fence. Perhaps, I should give him a try and see if I could define what it is about him that was not fitting for me. So I asked him if he would like to spend the day or some time exploring each other and seeing if things did fit – so to speak.
This, I believe, was my first true exploration into the realm of Domination and Submission. My friend sent me a list of things that I was to answer – have I tried them, would I like to try them, maybe or absolutely NO. I answered the questions to the best of my ability and agreed with him that there were a lot of things on there that I had tried and was somewhat hesitant to try again – given my first experience or my own reservations. He read the list and admitted he was a bit disappointed that I was not more eager to try more of the "non-vanilla" type sex acts. Already, I'm feeling a little defensive and guilty but indicated that no, there are some things that were painful and/or embarrassing and I had absolutely no desire to try...pain was high on my list as was humiliation/embarrassment.
For the week or 10 days prior to our assignation my friend was very conscientious and considerate – sending me literotica stories and discussing my reservations, chatting about fantasies and some of the acts I had literally no interest in participating in. As for myself, I found him to be extremely honest in that if I asked a question about his sexual history, etc. he was very forthcoming and open about it. Any questions about his real identity and personal life were fielded very promptly and quickly.
I found this behavior especially disturbed me because he was not the only one who was risking here and I was as well and my belief was if I was going to allow myself to possibly incapacitated and/or tied up – then I should have an idea about who was tying me up. I did not expect a lot of personal information but some pertinent information would be nice. Either way, in spite of this discomfort, I decided to follow my impulses and meet with him and see where and how the sexual boundaries would be explored and/or set. I understood that he did not trust me but I resented this mistrust as well.
I prepared for the next day, the night before – buying a bottle of Italian white wine, Orvietto Classico – a bit sweet but I liked it. I brought the few toys I owned with me, a small whip, handcuffs and some feathers. He said he would bring some of his things with him and provide the room. I spent the evening teasing and cyber-sex chatting about what would happen the next day with him.
I arrived wearing my long black dress, satiny crotch less red & black underwear, black bra and old red garters & nylons. I knocked on the door and entered somewhat nervously but quite prepared to give myself over entirely to the experience. He opened the wine, I had forgotten a cork screw and he popped the cork into the bottle and told me to hold the bottle upright until the cork came lose and floated to the end of the bottle – splashing the wine on my face.
We spent some time kissing and stroking each other, I was so hot, I couldn't wait, I wanted his clothes off him and his cock in me....I wanted to taste all of him, I didn't want to wait to play games....I wanted him now.
He stopped me, gently – but stopped me just the same, asked me if he could put the cuffs and ankle restraints on me. I looked at him and nodded yes. He put the cuffs on then asked if he could attach the cuffs to the straps, I said yes. I still had no fear of him and/or what he was doing – there was impatience in me, a desire to get to the finished product – to get fucked and I would do whatever I needed to do to get there.
The cuffs felt a little chafing at first and did not do much for increasing my excitement however when I found myself attached to the straps where I couldn't move, I couldn't touch, I couldn't control – my excitement changed and became more intense. Throughout this experience, he continued to ask me, if this felt okay or if he could do this, or if I was uncomfortable and I stopped thinking about what was happening and started feeling, feeling sensations I haven't felt in a long time and even feelings that I couldn't even identify – just a blind need.
Speaking of blind need, he blindfolded me after asking if this was okay – I agreed. Now the sounds in the room were heightened. He brought some wine to my mouth and laying prone, much of it spilled down my neck and breasts. The wine he promptly licked off of the various spots and drips. Pouring wine on my belly, he leaned down and licked the wine off again with short laps of the tip of his tongue. I could feel his nude body against me, his cock silky soft, smooth and stiff.
