"I mean, sure. Who doesn't like spanking?" I responded, a flirtatious lilt in my voice as I picked up my wine glass. The action was meant to hide the thrill that rushed through me. As I brought the glass to my lips to sip, my eye caught yours and I realized it wasn't successful. I had spanking checked off on the kinky dating profile I had filled out and was thrilled to know that you'd actually done your homework.
The playful, open gaze you'd held through dinner had shifted into something heated. The downward tilt of your chin, the weight of your attention on me suddenly feeling so much warmer than before.
I swallowed hard, setting my glass down with an accidental clink against my plate. I winced, nervously clearing my throat as I grabbed my napkin in my lap to dab at the corner of my lips. You hadn't moved and you were unraveling me in a way I couldn't put my finger on.
Your tongue darted out to wet your lips before responding, the subtle raise of a single eyebrow not lost on me. "What I mean is, have you ever been
really
spanked? Would you enjoy the feeling of giving me everything? In my ... experience... I have heard it can be quite cathartic."
I sat and pondered, holding your gaze for as long as I would dare. I'd been going on these kinky dates for months now, looking for someone to play with who could give me what I needed, or at least be committed to helping me figure out what that was. So far, they'd all fallen flat in the face of fragile egos and inflexible or selfish motives.
Until you.
"I guess... I wouldn't know." I admitted finally, lifting my fork to my lips to continue eating even though my body was thrumming and the food tasted like I wanted us to get out of here.
"Would you like to?"
The question hung between us as I fought the corners of my lips turning up into a smile. Your eyes watched me with a focus I hadn't experienced before. You weren't watching me, you were
seeing me.
It made me squirm in my seat, the soft satin of the dress I had chosen for dinner sliding across my legs. Everything suddenly felt alive. A soft exhale of a laugh from you was all it took for me to realize you won this round. I would be lying if I wasn't curious to see how else I could lose to you if it made me feel this way.
I couldn't fight the heat blooming in my cheeks as I reached for my wine glass again.
You reached for yours in the same manner, your eyes flitting from the glass to me. "Yes or no?"
In my silent and giddy turmoil, I had forgotten to answer. I set my glass back down before raising my chin, meeting your gaze.
"Yes."
You nodded in return, cheersing the glass in your hand elegantly in my direction. I worried my lip between my teeth as I dropped my gaze back to my plate. I'd been really anxious to really get into impact play and I wondered if you'd go out on another date with me if I wasn't. I'd heard horror stories about Dominants who just wailed on their submissives and... It made me nervous. I really wanted to go on another date with you and I wasn't even done with this one.
But somehow, through the infinite web of space between us, you picked up on that.
"There's nothing wrong with you if you don't end up liking it." Your quietly spoken words
tripped gently across the glassware between us, mixing in with the tinkling of forks and knives around us. The other diners oblivious to the heated exchange between us and my throat tightened.
"I wasn't-"
"You don't have to say it. I can read it in your face." You offered gently, one hand raising in surrender. "We'll take it slow, but I have a feeling that you will. All I want to know is if you are curious enough to try. If not, I know there will be other things we'll enjoy together."
How that confident statement filled my body with effervescent bubbles, I'll never understand. It felt like being pulled into the light after being in the shadows. I just hope you'd still feel this way once you got me out of my clothes.
My hands shook as I shoved my key into the tumbler of my front door. You were standing behind me with a hand curved around my lower back, resting on my hip. It was casual but intentional. You were close enough that I could feel the heat of your body, the protective stance not escaping my attention. It made me feel small, and as someone who wouldn't be classified as such, my cheeks filled with heat again.
The door swung open and we both glided through it in silence, the darkened space of the entryway wrapping around us in an intimately knowing way.
I could feel my breaths coming in faster as I bent at the waist to take my heels off, the clatter of them hitting the floor sounding much louder in my heightened state. Now that I was shorter, you felt so much larger than life. You had easily slipped out of your shoes, nudging them with your toe into a neat arrangement next to my discarded heels. Your eyes roamed over me as you extended your hand out.
"Let's sit and talk."
I burbled a laugh as I rested my shaking fingers in yours. "What, you don't want to bend me over up against this door and start spanking me, telling me I'm a naughty whore who deserves to be punished?"
At that moment, I hadn't accepted how scared I was, and the quip was intended to distract and deflect. Something about the way you were effortlessly handling my unsteady energy was addictive and personal. You saw right through me.
Your fingers tightened around mine, pulling me into your body as the other hand fell into place at my lower back. The action pressed me against you in an intimate and comfortable way, like we'd been fitting together for years as you used both of our hands to tilt my chin up. Your sharp gaze studied me in a profoundly patient way, the moment at odds with how you were holding me against you.
"I would be lying if I said that didn't sound like fun, but that's not how I envisioned this going." You had bent down to rub your nose against mine, the action filling the space with your cologne. It was minty and crisp, I inhaled against my will and you smiled in response.
I led the way to the couch, carefully sitting next to you as you reclined comfortably back. Your posture was so relaxed, but the way your thumb traced circles on my knee told me otherwise. My eyes traced the lines of your clothes, pausing on your lap and wondering what it would be like if I just... laid across them.
"Talk to me," you whispered, the encouragement surprising me and I sat up straighter.
"I- uh-"
"It doesn't have to be that serious, you know." You interrupted with a patient sigh. Your silence after that felt more comfortable as I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"I don't know what to do here." I conceded, my voice coming out small.
"Let me show you, then." You offered, the gentle sway of your voice making me swing my face towards you as you leaned forward. Your finger tilted my face up to yours as your lips captured mine, the act simple and instructive. This was the start and I felt my body start to yield.
We tangled breathlessly for a moment before you pulled back, that hungry glint back in your gaze. "We stop when you want to. I've got you, from start to finish." You whispered as you leaned back, patting your lap.
I stared blankly for a moment as neither of us moved. You had made the first move and now it was up to me to volley it back. My heart clambered in my throat as I awkwardly shifted on the couch to position myself over your lap. The dress I had chosen wasn't exactly suited for this and by the time I was flattened, it had already ridden up above my cheeks. None of my kinky dates had ever gotten to this point so I never had to truly face my rampaging insecurities until now.
I struggled to find a position that would hold up some of my weight over you until you gently but firmly pressed into my lower back.
"I'm going to squish you." I squeezed out, the attempt at a playful tone getting lost in the stress as I resisted your pressure.
"Is there something I've done to indicate that your weight is a problem to me?" You asked patiently, your hand branding my lower back as you continued to press down until I was settled completely over your legs. "Because if so, please say something."
Tears suddenly burned in my eyes as my throat closed up quickly. You shifted from pressing your palm into me, to rubbing back and forth in a comforting way. In the time it took me to try and swallow down my insecurities, you kept talking. Your voice was neutral and soft. "I saw your pictures in your profile and I spent more time than wise staring at you all throughout dinner imagining what you'd look like under my hands. I have a very clear understanding of what you look like. You're stunning exactly as you are and you're exactly where I want you to be."
A shuddering breath betrayed my position as you rested both hands on top of me, sighing as you rested your head back on the couch. "If you've never experienced something like this, it can feel really big. It's ok. We can stay like this until you're ready to continue, or we can put on a movie and relax instead if this is enough for one night. This is a very vulnerable position to be in and I want you to understand that I've got you. Are we still green?"
I nodded as I struggled to swallow. You said 'enough for one night.' That meant that you were interested in staying. The undercurrent of stability in your statement didn't help the crushing weight in my throat. I'd never experienced attention like this and was at a loss.
"A nod isn't enough, sweet girl. Come here, sit up." You instructed, the dominant lean in your voice still carried with a gentleness that made me obey. Sitting up, you took my face in your hands as you wiped away my tears with your thumb. "You need to use your words, ok?" After asking me where the kitchen was, you instructed me to sit here while you disappeared and reappeared with two glasses of water. I sipped mine until my throat worked and drained it quickly after that. Resting my glass in my lap as I regained my composure, I noticed the tent in your pants as you rested yours down in the same manner. My eyes flew to yours in surprise.
"Is that-"
A confident smirk pulled on the corner of your lips. "Yeah, that's because of you."
"Even after the-"
"Tears don't frighten me. In fact, I quite like them under the right circumstances. But this," you paused indicating your erection, "is because of your trust. It's a powerful thing and it's very exciting, I won't lie to you. Do you want to keep going?"
A renewed hope burned inside of my chest as I set my glass down on the coffee table. "Yes, I do want to keep going."
You smiled brightly at me before setting your glass down and leaning back to give me room to climb over you, one hand patting your leg. A blush heated my cheeks as I got on my hands and knees to rest back into your lap, your erection jumping underneath my belly. It made me laugh which made you laugh, breaking some of the tension in the room.
Your hand rested on one of my cheeks, on top of the dress. You swirled it around, as if complimenting the texture of the dress as I rested my cheek on the back of my hand.
"Ready?"
"Yes," I responded as you lifted your hand off of my cheek to swat down with a softness that made me giggle. "That wasn't very hard."
"We're just getting warmed up," you warned. It was a dark and playful tone that sent shivers down my back as you lifted to impact the same cheek again. Still, it wasn't hard enough to scare me. I tamped down the feelings of fear I had been harboring that you would just come out of the gate swinging.
More swirls, more light impacts on each cheek.
"You're so beautiful when you relax for me," you whispered as you alternated the swirls and impacts in a cadence that was predictable. I hadn't realized I had relaxed all of my weight into you and you rolled your hips up into my belly, your moan of enjoyment making my head spin.