The second man I loved was, K.
He wasn't like other men. He was a dangerous obsession and I knew this from the moment we met.
K was a couple of years older than me and when we met I was charmed by his big, warm smile and athletic body. He had kind eyes, was tall, well dressed and always smelt nice. I loved his checked shirts, his big, manly hands and slightly rugged look. So many things about him turned me on.
Most importantly, he was smart and articulate and knew a lot about a lot. In the back of my mind, I somehow knew he would turn out to be a liar and a cheat, he made no secrets about the fact that his ex girlfriend was both a dancer and a model. He was a player... no doubt about it. I hated him and loved him in equal measures.
He was studying for a PHD and jokingly stated that it stands for 'pretty huge dick'.
K was so arrogant, he seemed so out of reach. At the same time, I wanted him so badly. He knew how to play the game and was a master of it. Girls wanted him and in many ways he was a prick, but I loved him and what he could do to me.
"I've never asked a girl out before," he said.
I had to make the first move. He made sure that this was not a date, we were just hanging out.
I knew he was a player and he was bad for me, but I couldn't help but want more of his body and mind. He was mysterious and experienced and captured my interest. He would introduce me to so many new things, but he wasn't interested in me at all. I felt inferior. He was hard work, he wouldn't ask questions but somehow managed to talk about so many interesting things and I would chase him. I was obsessed. I wasn't even sure how, but, K managed to pin me down and get in my head so easily. For the first time ever, I had felt a strong need to submit myself to a man completely.
I longed for his company, his knowledge and advice on things too. I wanted him to be my teacher, my mentor and I wanted him to introduce me to a darker world of sex. When we went out, I used to stare at the bulge between his legs and wonder what kind of snake he had hidden. I wondered if it was as big as he had hinted. He enjoyed teasing me, he was like a cat playing with a toy. He saw me blush and loved it.
He would hint about some kinky interests from time to time too, I think he was testing the water.
Now I look back, I realize that in a way he was grooming me. He knew I would fall for him.
Conversationally, I'm sure he was dropping ideas into my head, using words like 'collared', 'tied up' and 'dominated'... But would always deny it. One day we were out and I questioned him on it. I knew that this was wind in his sails.
He would call me, filth and point out that all these girls who want that kind of sex are sluts and that I should be ashamed of myself. I enjoyed hearing that. It was a strange dynamic. I grew to love the humiliation of those words. I craved them. He made me want to get a reaction more and more.
"I bet you love the big ones," he would say, from time to time.
He was tempting me into his trap, day by day. I knew this, but I was hooked.
We could kiss at the end of our 'dates' and he would put his hand around my head and clench my hair tightly. It wasn't romantic, it was like an animal going in for the kill. Holding for a while, just long enough. This turned me on to no end. He would sometimes slip his hand between my legs, just lightly brushing my lips and as soon as I would get horny he would kick me out of his car.
"Go home, little one," he'd say.
This was just a game to, K and as soon as I got home I would masturbate furiously as I fantasied about all of the things I wanted him to do to me.
This routine continued for a while, until we finally arranged to go to London for New Years to stay in a hotel. I knew this was our chance to take things further. I boldly made it explicit that I wanted him to go further whilst we were away. I used to dream about being on my knees, sucking him, feeling his big dick piercing my insides...
He had a big Cheshire cat grin when I gave him this proposition him for sex.
"You wouldn't be able to handle me, sweetie... I'm rather a big boy," he said. "How will you ever have any other man once you've had me?"
He loved not giving me an answer. He would make me wait for everything. He would disappear for a while and then pounce. But I loved the uncertainty, the challenge... The arrogance. For anyone else, I wouldn't have tolerated it.
In many ways, his gentlemanly ways would disguise his true nature. He was a total gentleman, he was generous, caring and giving. He looked after me.
We got to the hotel to drop our things off and I wanted him right there and then.
I made some sexual comment about how big his cock looked in those jeans and tried to cover my embarrassment by saying,
"Should we head out?"
That evil Cheshire cat smile came out again and he laughed. He approached me and gripped my hair.