I have always been considered beautiful and my family well off - so I had the best clothes, hairdressers, nails, even at an early point in my life. I was involved at an early stage with family parties rather than being shuffled off. I learned to enjoy the attentions of older men – and as young, insecure girl became to rely on constant attention and adoration rather than building self confidence and being comfortable in my skin. My mother was Croatian, and a fashion model – she was the life and soul of the house. She was killed in a car crash when I was just 16. My father did not know the driver - the accident happened at 2am in the morning and the man was seriously over the limit.
My father was in pieces. Not only had he lost a wife he had lost trust in the life memory he wanted to hold dear.
For 6 months he was in a bad place. So I decided to take him on holiday to our villa in Majorca. I was nearly 17. I made a mistake. My mother had beautiful clothes, beautiful underwear, beautiful basques. and so many shoes, some incredibly sexy...we were virtually the same size, though maybe she was a little taller. I took some of her summer dresses with me and some high heeled sandals on holiday, not thinking.
I was like a magpie – her clothes were classy, sexy, and i wanted to look like my mum did when she went out – sophisticated, fun loving...
On the second night I came dressed for dinner in one of her dresses - backless, cream, very sexy, short to show off my legs, clingy to show off the swell of my breasts and matching high heeled sandals. I thought I looked a million dollars and hoped to make an entrance and draw admiring glances.
My father saw not a lovely daughter to be proud of, but a ghost. Dinner was stilted, he was moody.
The next day he was even more quiet, introverted, mopey, dead. Just sitting by the pool in a black mood I had caused, not even reading or listening to music. I felt responsible. I wanted to make it up,to him but didn't know how. I cooked him dinner and we drank but there was no joy. He went to bed early.
I sat up in the night air, having a drink. Then I heard him sobbing. I went and stood outside his door for ages then went in and whispered if he was OK. He said nothing. I went to get into bed with him to cradle him tightly from behind but saw he was naked. I felt he would like my body warmth so I took my clothes off too. When I put my arms around him, feeling his hard body, my body tingled. My stomach crawled with anticipation. I could feel my heart beating in my head. I could feel my nipples harden against his back and become tender and achey and my juices starting as she began to open. I felt natural and he became quiet and still as I comforted him. He said nothing for such a long while I wondered if I should just go to my room and leave him but, perhaps sensing I was pulling away, murmured sweetly "that feels lovely".
I took that as encouragement. I ran my fingers down his arms and over his chest, twirling his chest hairs playfully, trying to lighten the mood. He lay on his back and put his arm around me, so I could snuggle into him. I caressed his chest and he smoothed my shoulders. I kissed his cheek. I could feel his face was wet. I kissed his face again, loving away the tears. I moved my leg over his to get closer, to be more comforting. It was then that I felt his cock brush against my leg. It was big. Very big. He shifted a little, away from me, realising what had happened.
At that point, the moment could have been, still, just a tender, innocent father / daughter intimacy, borne from his need. However, the feeling of that cock sent me into a heady moment of lust and desire. (I apologise if this is too much for you, but for me it was my defining moment in life).
I knew then that I needed more from him. I wanted to feel the electric excitement of his cock against my skin again and thought that if I gave myself to him I would make my father happy again. After all, I must be doing something right if he was so big, right? Warped logic, I now know. But at that moment the feeling was lovely, intense, unreal and there was an overwhelming mix of natural love for him compounded by the realisation that, despite other boys I had been with, the sexual urges I was feeling then were so much more than anything. I realised that I actually really fancied him....desired him and felt natural with him.
We lay for a while, saying nothing. He was tracing his fingers lightly up and down my arm. That felt lovely. Every now and again I brushed my leg against his cock, still big, sometimes letting it rest against him innocently, enjoying the sexuality of the moment – part innocent, part seductive – an amazing combination.
He asked if I was OK ....I told him I was just perfect. Because I was. That was the truth. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else or with anyone else. I asked if he was OK. He said he thought so but his mouth was dry and he could do with a drink! I laughed, slipped out of bed, naked, leant over and kissed him gently on his mouth....."yes dry lips" I laughed. He then laughed too –the first for ages. How good did that make me feel? And what a boost to my confidence.
I remember that moment with crystal clarity still today.
I grabbed a towel wrapped it around me and went to the kitchen to get a couple of glasses of champagne.
Before i returned I took a deep breath, freshened up my lipstick, quick spray of perfume and fluff up the hair.....all by instinct. Back in the room I went round to my dad's side of the bed put the glasses down, said "budge over". He lifted the sheet up.
I peeled away the towel, holding it in one hand as nonchantly and naturally as I could. I held his gaze, letting him look at me, appreciate me, taking in my figure, my breasts, my hips. I wanted him to desire me.......this took only a few seconds but it feltmlike an age before I dropped the towel, smiling at him as I did, and snuggled in. As I passed him the glass I kissed him first on the lips again. His breath was fresh. Seems like he too had made an effort, of sorts. We toasted each other, I kissed him again, still closed mouths, but just reassuring him and making sure that I was taking the boundaries down through frequent moments of intimacy. As he lay on his back I lay my head on his chest and ran my hands down to his groin circling my fingers around his cock - which although semi hard immediately began to grow firm.
