She's my Daddy.
Of course she was beautiful. They always are. 5'4" Brunette. 33. 115 pounds with a nice smile and silicone distraction attachments. Jennifer.
Jennifer knew she was gorgeous. And that was the problem. For years men would bend to her will at the slightest hint of attention. A lingering look. A few text messages. One of those kisses that seemed to go on and on, given the way she'd press her body into you.
At the time, she was a nurse. A shift leader at a facility serving the mentally and physically handicapped. The first time I saw her, was during shift change about 2 weeks after I started this job.
I was no nurse. Just an ass-wiping, sweeping, mopping, laundry doing, glorified baby sitter. The feeling of helping others made the job worth it. That and the fact they were desperate for employees and never asked for a second drug test. Early 20's and riding the line between hard partying and full blown addiction. There wasn't a whole lot I had to look forward to from day to day. Next buzz. Next smoke break. Next lay from the next girl I could convince I was any different from the next bum on the bus.
My name is Mike. I'm 5'11". Around 180 pounds. Decent physique leftover from high school wrestling. Attractive enough in a forgettable sort of way. So, it struck me a little odd when I was asked to pick up a third shift the next night after only having been there a short time.
I realized soon after that I would be working her shift. Just me and her. All the clients would be asleep, and there would be lots of opportunity for conversation with the excitingly attractive nurse. My mind raced the whole next day. I found myself getting caught in loops of internal argument.
"She's gorgeous, there's no way she's into you."
"It's just an extra shift dumbass, don't make it more than it is."
It was relentless. Even amidst the opiate induced brain fog. So, when it finally came time to go in, I tried my best to go in not expecting anything. Just another shift. Wiping asses. Doing laundry.
"Hey, thanks for coming in tonight! Alice's kid got sick or something."
She said when I walked in the door. God, I didn't think anyone could make scrubs look so good. "Just relax" My mind commanded the rest of my body, which was set to vibrate mode as soon as I saw her.
"No problem. I could use the money."
I went about my job. Third shift was a cake walk. You could take care of everything within the first hour or so and then pretty much coast. It was getting pretty close to midnight, and I had finished everything up. Jennifer sat down next to me and we started to talk. "Where are you from.." "How did you end up working here.. " "What do you do for fun.."
I started to get the feeling I wasn't asked to come in because of my work ethic.
"Hey, don't rat me out, but I was gonna go out and smoke a bowl real quick, if you're interested." She comments casually.
"Nope. Drugs are bad mmkay, I'm calling your boss right this second."
My face was dead serious. Her face had dropped to a deer in headlights shock.
"I'm totally fucking with you, you got a lighter?" And just then, we laughed. Her hand tapped me lightly on the arm and I was certain. I could pull this off.
Later that night we made out. She came over the night after and we had sex. Amazing sex. I walked her to her car and we kissed passionately in the middle of the street. I watched the rising sun play off her eyes. Glassy from the speed we'd been doing all night. Turns out Jen was not one to turn down a bump.
It was perfect.... For a time.
I got switched to mainly third shift from then on. Every night we would talk and party have sex in the kitchen. The next shift crew would get there and we would throw on our blasΓ© mask and get ready to leave. Suffice it to say, I thought I had struck gold metaphorically speaking. I didn't even care that much when I got fired.
Apparently, one of us had forgotten a beer in the fridge at work. I took out for it. Told Human Resources it was mine. I had just been going through a hard time. Who cares. I could get another shitty job. Plus, having a job was getting in the way of partying. We had both been kind of binging. We'd stayed up for days, working, fucking, talking.
One of our conversations, brought us to talking about kinks. More specifically, experience with the opposite sex.
"Have you ever done anything... like that?" She queried coyly.
"Yeah, a few times. I kind of have a femdom kink."
"Like what?"
"I guess strap on stuff. A girl making you.... Do stuff with another guy..." I trailed off hoping she'd get the picture. God forbid my sexual depravity drive her away.
"Like whips and chains and all that?" The way she was looking at me kind of made me squirm. Interrogating almost.
"Not that far I guess." Luckily, she didn't put up too much of a fight when I changed the subject.
Pt. 2- The week prior.
I was spending most of my time at Jennifer's place. She had used some vacation time so we could stay home and stay wrapped up in one another. For three or four days there was nothing outside that apartment. Just me and her and meth. Tongues, lips, skin, sweat and every luscious moment seemed to pass without so much as a thought to what was next. Or so I thought. Little did I know, Jen had a plan.
Friday.
Since the start of our time together, I had been dazzled. Awe struck. Too Naive to realize. 20 year old guys always they think they have the world by the balls. Hind sight is 20/20. The compliments came too often. Jen was an ego stroker and I ate it up, I'm embarrassed to say. How sweet I was. How good I looked. What a good lay I was. Blah blah fucken blah. It seemed I was ideal in every way. Until Friday.
We had actually slept the night before. I woke up that morning, before she did. Watched a little TV. Called around to see if I could borrow some money. We were dangerously low on speed. I had blown my last paycheck, and hadn't even thought about looking for a job. She was supposed to be going back into work that night, and she would probably not want to go sober.
She woke up a later. I had cooked for us but neither of us was very hungry. We sat across from one another and I could feel the change in the air.
"You okay?" I asked trying to get a read on what exactly the problem was.
"Yeah, I'm just not feeling too good."
"Okay, you want to just stay in today? We can just rest up and I can look for a job tomorrow." Trying my best to be a good.... Whatever the hell I was to her.
"No, Jay needed to run some errands and he said he would give me a bag if I took him..." She paused.
"You can come... if you want." And just like that, I knew that my cloud nine was collapsing out from under me.
"Yeah... let me know when you're ready." I sulked.
Guys. You KNOW when a girl is done with you. The very instant she decides you aren't worth the air you breathe. I knew it. And I knew that I should've left. Left and been done with it. Cleaned up my act. Found a new job. And moved on.
I didn't.
I had never met "Jay" before. Questions ran through my head as to how she knew him. What kind of relationship they had. My eyes followed random cars as she drove to his house. I smoked a Newport and kept quiet. Hoping beyond reason that this was a hiccup and not the end.
We pulled into the driveway of a beat up house in a shitty neighborhood. To my surprise, Jen, who "wasn't feeling great" almost leaped out of the car.
"HEY! IT'S BEEN SO LONG!"
They chit chatted. As I sized him up. Tall guy. 6'2" or so. Nothing exactly great about him. Curly hair. Kind of chunky. But boy was she excited to see him. We went into the house. Did a few lines. I didn't talk much. The crank he had was stronger than I was used to and I was pretty well spun by the time we walked back to the car.
"Hey, will you sit in the back?" I was astounded. Who the fuck was this guy? Why was I suddenly back seat Charlie?!
"No problem." I sat in the back seat trying to ignore the giggling from her as we drove to random places around town. The bank, cell phone store, storage unit.
Every now and then we'd pull over and do another line or two, so even as these thoughts were running through my head, I was too fucked up to do anything about them.
Finally we got back to her apartment. I was pissed. I had barely been given a second glance since "Jay" got picked up. I went along with it. Figured she was just smooshing up to score some free dope.
We all sat around the dining room table and Jay began busting down lines.