Holy Matrimony

Christine and I were married five years ago. Our families were friends. We dated while we attended Catholic high school together. She was always sweet, modest and inhibited. We never went further than passionate kissing and a little groping through her clothes until our honeymoon but I could tell that she was very passionate under her prim and proper Catholic school exterior. I had to jerk off as soon as I got home from a date. It was tough but she was worth the wait.

Everyone was pleased when Joe Jr. was born eleven months after our wedding. I started pulling out and cumming on her stomach instead of inside her after that. Christine hated it because she almost never had time to finish and it made a mess of her and the bed. I hated doing it that way, too. I delayed pulling out a little too often and Catherine joined Joe Jr. less than a year after he as born. We started to struggle financially. Christine agreed that we needed to be more careful and wait a while before we had another baby.

Her Mom gave her a pamphlet on the Rhythm Method, the only birth control permitted by the Church. She tracked her periods on the calendar, took her temperature every morning and figured out which week each month she was least likely to conceive. We were both awfully glad when it arrived! We probably could have made love during her period but she thought having sex then was dirty.

She wouldn't let me touch her. I was back to jerking off pretty often and I wasn't the only one having a hard time dealing with abstinence. I'm a light sleeper. I woke up numerous nights with Christine lying on her tummy facing away from me. The only time she lay on her tummy was during sex. Her slight, furtive, rhythmic movements, the slop-slop-slop sound of her fingers going in and out of her and her muffled sighs of passion and relief were a huge turn-on for me! I never let on that I knew she did it, of course. As I mentioned, she's very shy. I used to pull her soggy panties out of the hamper the next morning, smell her scent on them, wrap them around my erection and masturbate in them.

We both enjoyed making love despite the guilt the nuns had filled her with. She got pregnant with Mary within four months after Catherine was born despite our only making love during her "safe" week. Limiting ourselves had been hard on both of us. Now, despite our increased financial problems, we happily took advantage of not having to worry about her getting pregnant.

We made love almost every night until her expanding tummy made it impossible. I suggested we try doing it "doggie style" when she got too large for the missionary position or rear entry (her preference because it was more modest; I couldn't see her face during her climax) but she said it sounded disgusting and she didn't want anything to do with it. Things got pretty tense between us after Mary was born.

I had to take a second job, and we were afraid to have sex although we both needed it badly. Even worse, Christine developed a liver problem. The doctor warned us another pregnancy would be dangerous for her. That scared us! I suggested that we use condoms and the Pill instead of the Rhythm Method. We'd be able to make love a lot more often and enjoy each other without worrying all the time. She folded her arms, shook her head and said she wasn't going to lose her immortal soul for a little earthly pleasure. It was the Rhythm Method or nothing.

We were worried about the potential consequences but we made love every night during her "Safe Week." We were nervous because we knew it might not be safe for us, as fertile as we are! Worrying spoiled it a bit but it was better than not having sex at all. Then the inevitable happened. We slipped one night and made love an extra night a few months after Mary was born. It was our anniversary. The kids were staying with her parents for the weekend. I'd bought her a beautiful, black silk teddie that set off her figure, which dieting and exercise had restored well.

That teddie was just sheer enough to let her nipples and thick patch of pubic hair show through. We'd each had a little more wine than usual, maybe a lot more, now that I think about it, and she was a lot less inhibited than usual. It was better than being on our honeymoon. We were more comfortable with each other. I unsnapped the crotch of her teddie and rubbed her labia gently until she was wet. She slipped the straps down her shoulders, freeing her breasts. She was still nursing Mary so they were nice and firm and her silver-dollar-sized nipples were milk chocolate colored. Her pale, bluish milk leaked onto my fingers while I played with her breasts.

She stroked my hair and pulled my face against her breast, urging me to suckle her. That was something we both loved since she'd guiltily admitted that having her nipples sucked aroused her tremendously. I suckled both her breasts slowly and gently, drinking her sweet milk while she played with my hair and whispered things that made me need to be inside her. I knelt between her knees, bent forward and touched her puffy labia with the tip of my tongue. I'd done it a few times before but she hadn't been comfortable letting me put my mouth on her.

This time was different. She went absolutely wild! She grabbed my hair and pulled my face between her thighs. She wanted it! I gave it to her! I sucked and tongued her until she screamed and begged me to get inside her. I knew I wouldn't be able to last long as aroused as I was so I put in two fingers instead. Christine's vagina was very wet and loose. Most guys like it tight. She had been before she had Joe Jr. but I liked her loose the way she was now. We both liked that I lasted a lot longer because she was loose.

The tension gave me stronger orgasms too, when I finally ejaculated. She had her first climax as soon as I put another finger inside her and started to pump my hand in and out faster. She grabbed my hand, held my fourth finger against the others and put them between her labia. I'd never used four before! She had another climax, then another. I slipped my fingers out, pushed my thumb into my palm and pushed my hand slowly into her up to my knuckles.

She went absolutely wild! She put her hands against the headboard, shoved herself down on my hand and pumped her hips. It slipped right up inside her! Her vaginal muscles grabbed my hand and released it each time she had a moaning, screaming climax! I was damned glad the kids weren't at home! I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled my hand out and slipped into her. She wrapped her legs around the small of my back and met my thrusts, moaning and screaming every time she had a climax! I ejaculated into her when she grabbed her breasts and squirted milk onto my chest.

I don't think I ever pumped so much into her at one time! We fell asleep with me still lying on top of her. That's how we woke up the next morning. The sheet was soaked with our combined juices. I got off her, lay beside her and kissed her. Christine's pale, blue-veined breasts were full of milk because Mary was still nursing frequently. She raised one to my lips then she lay with her hands behind her head while I suckled her. We talked about how much we loved each other. She usually wore one of the pretty nightgowns I'd bought her to bed.

Seeing her nearly naked in a pool of sunlight was terrifically exciting. I was hard as a rock for her! I put my hand between her legs and told her how badly I wanted to make love with her again. She said, "I need it too, Honey but we'd better not. We shouldn't have let ourselves get carried away last night." She went into the bathroom to douche with vinegar. I lay there for a while with a throbbing erection that refused to go down. I had just started jerking off when she came back.

She surprised me when she told me to go ahead and finish. She'd never seen me do it. She lay down next to me, naked and beautiful, and rubbed my inner thigh and nuzzled my neck. She exclaimed, "Oh, Joe, that's so sexy!" when I ejaculated. As it turned out, we shouldn't have wasted the opportunity to make love.

The doctor scolded us about her pregnancy and scheduled weekly blood tests. We could hardly afford the three babies we already had. Still, it wasn't all bad. Our sex life went into high gear as soon as she missed her second period and we knew it was "free" from then on. Looking back, I think the next six months of sex were the best we ever had. Her pregnancy hormones were incredible!

She was insatiable and uninhibited! She gave me oral (but never to completion) and let me do it to her. She even spread herself open and let me lick and play with her buzz button! We made love every night as soon as we got into bed and again after she came back to bed from nursing Mary. And my shy, inhibited wife was masturbating, too! Damn, did that turn me on! I found wads of soggy tissues in the trash basket next to the bed when I got home from work and she left her hair brush on the nightstand three times.

I could tell by looking at it and smelling it that she was putting the handle inside her while the babies were napping. She was super sexy, I loved her more than ever and I was hot for her all the time. I dreaded the time when she'd get so big it would be hard for us to make love and pretty soon we'd have to stop.

We were repainting the nursery and bassinet one Sunday afternoon after church when I shared what I'd been thinking about since the dreaded plus sign appeared on her home pregnancy test. She was six months along, showing a lot (each baby seemed to be bigger) but she looked and felt great. Christine loved being pregnant. She hardly ever got morning sickness or back aches and her liver wasn't causing any problems.

I reminded her four kids in less than five years was more than we could handle financially. Having a fifth before we paid off some debts would be a disaster that might keep us from getting our heads above water. We absolutely had to find something that worked better than the Rhythm Method. I asked her to consider getting an IUD and told her I was willing to get a vasectomy if she didn't want to get one implanted.

I don't know why and I didn't mention it to her but the idea of having something up inside her all the time turned me on. At that stage, most everything seemed to. She said she didn't want an IUD because they could cause problems. I wasn't crazy about having someone cutting and sniping down there but being able to express our love and enjoy each other like we did during our our single "safe" week each month, and the way we made love during her pregnancies, whenever and as often as we wanted to, would be awesome!

I said we'd done our duty to the Church and any Catholic family would be proud to have contributed four beautiful children to it. She said we needed to discuss it with her cousin Father Jacob, the priest who married us. A vasectomy would be all right with her if it was all right with him. Never having to worry again would improve our sex lives dramatically. I couldn't wait!

Father Jacob let us talk for a half hour without saying much. His grave expression wasn't a good sign. He handed us a book titled "Holy Matrimony" and told us to read it thoroughly together, discuss it, highlight what we thought was most relevant to our situation, and return in a week to discuss it. We sat side by side on the couch that evening after the kids were in bed and did our homework.

Christine did the highlighting. "... mortal sin for a husband to ejaculate as the result of a purposeful sexual act that could not lead to pregnancy" "Sexual stimulation other than to prepare a couple for intercourse is an invitation to commit the sin of lust." "... artificial birth control, including condoms, medications, spermicidal foam, diaphragms, and premature withdrawal are mortal sins..."

It went on and on. "Every act of intercourse after a spouse has been sterilized, unless the surgery was performed because of medical necessity, is a mortal sin." "... ejaculation caused by self-stimulation is a mortal sin..." "... Rhythm Method is effective when practiced properly and conscientiously and is the only morally acceptable method of family planning ..."A good Catholic wife and mother is modest, at all times emulating Mother Mary by avoiding excessively lustful thoughts and actions."

Would she ever stop finding stuff to highlight? "Abstinence, living together as brother and sister in marriage is the highest state of grace..." "Impure and lustful thoughts and fantasies about each other can lead a husband or wife to commit serious sins of the mind and flesh within their marriage..." "...procreation is God's holy and singular purpose for sexual pleasure and union." It was awfully depressing for both of us!

Father Jacob scheduled our follow up counseling session for the following evening. He sat between us, glanced at Christine's innocently open top blouse button and told her, "Lust is a serious sin, Christine. Good Catholic wives are modest at all times."

She blushed and buttoned up. He handed each of us a card with a picture of the Holy Family on the front and told us to read the back aloud. "God created the pleasure of sex for procreation. Married Catholic couples should always be open to the possibility of pregnancy. While family planning is permitted, the use of contraceptives, both hormonal and barrier, are not.

Sterilization by tubal ligation and vasectomy for the purpose of contraception are not acceptable. Barrier methods of birth control, such as condoms, spermicidal foam and cervical caps, and hormonal contraceptives, like the birth control pill, IUD and Depo-Provera, interfere with the act of conception. They prevent the egg from being fertilized by a sperm and in some cases may inhibit a pregnancy by preventing the implantation of a fertilized egg.

Purposely preventing the joining of an egg and sperm is a sin, therefore these forms of birth control are not acceptable. Coitus interruptus, intercourse in which the penis is withdrawn prior to ejaculation to prevent the deposit of sperm into the vagina is likewise unacceptable and gravely sinful, as is any ejaculation that cannot result in pregnancy"

He stood and told us, "You must avoid situations and actions that invite you to sin alone or together. You have to pay close attention to things you do in order to remain in a state of grace. Do you understand?" We nodded. I understood that our good times were over. Sex was going to be a lot less exciting and our masturbatory safety valve was out the window. I knew she'd get terribly upset if I masturbated from then on.

Father Jacob told us he'd hear our confessions. I waited in the hall while Christine made hers. She came to get me after she was finished. I went in and guiltily confessed to masturbating eleven times since my last confession and having frequent lustful thoughts about my wife. He assigned a penance of 25 Our Fathers, 25 Hail Marys and 2 novenas and warned me to avoid the occasions of sin. I knelt beside Christine and said my penance while she finished saying hers. He'd really nailed her for whatever she'd confessed because she was still praying when I finished! Father accompanied us out of the rectory afterward and reminded us that it's our duty to God and each other to help each other avoid the occasions of sin and added that he expected to see us at confession every Friday evening.

We had a long, difficult conversation between frequent interruptions by the kids after we got home. Christine sat next to me and suckled Mary beneath a baby blanket once the others were finally in bed. She'd never hidden her breast from me that way before. We decided that we'd have to limit intercourse to one night in the middle of her "safe" week after she delivered to be sure we'd be safe.

We were already horribly frustrated and desperately needed release a lot more often than our seven heavenly nights per month but we couldn't afford another baby. We also had to deal with the issue of sin. Christine and I didn't talk about sex. Now, embarrassing or not, we had to. She looked down and adjusted the blanket, which had slipped a little to expose the upper curve of her breast.

She said quietly but with determination, "You have to stop playing with yourself, Joseph. It's a sin. I won't stand for it." I agreed to stop. She told me she was going to give her sister the fancy underwear, nightgowns and silk teddie I bought her because they were too provocative. She'd wear my pajama tops and panties. I had to start wearing the bottoms instead of sleeping raw. I agreed.

She said we couldn't shower together anymore because it was an occasion of sin. I reluctantly agreed to that, too. She was right. We'd slipped and made mad, passionate love few times in the shower. Fortunately, she hadn't gotten pregnant. I couldn't avoid the erections seeing her naked body gave me, either. She nursed Mary quietly for a while, then she said, "We have to stop doing the kinds of things we've been doing in bed. You know what I mean, don't you, Honey?" I said "OK, we'll just make love from now on."

She got up, told me she was going to bed and took Mary upstairs, leaving me to try to ignore my straining erection. I went up a few minutes later. Christine was getting dressed for bed with her back to the bed. She already had white cotton panties on, with the band below her round baby bump, accentuating it. She kept her naked back to me while she put on the pajama top and buttoned it to her neck. She said, "Good night" and slipped into bed.

I knew I wasn't going to have many good nights from then on, especially after Josh was born but I also knew that she had her needs. Christine took off her panties after she returned from nursing Mary, climbed into bed and pressed the hard roundness of her pregnancy against my side. She nuzzled my neck and whispered, "Are you awake?" I kissed her and touched her between her legs. She was already wet.

She let me slide my hand inside her pajama top and fondle her but she stopped me when I started to penetrate her with my fingers. She didn't want to play around. She just needed release. She lay on her back, turned her face away from me and spread her legs. She kept them flat on the bed instead of raising her knees. I braced myself above her and entered her. I thrusted in and out gently so my stomach wouldn't bang against hers. She hardly moved her hips until she was ready to have her orgasm, then she moaned softly and met my thrusts frantically, almost angrily. We finished far too quickly, kissed and fell asleep.

That was the way it was just about every night until she got too big in her eighth month. We were lying in bed a week after she decided she didn't want to make love again until after she delivered. I was so horny I could hardly see straight. I told her I thought we'd misunderstood the real meaning of "a purposeful act that couldn't lead to pregnancy" being sinful warning. I explained that I thought foreplay would be all right as long as we only stimulated each other, not ourselves, didn't fantasize about anything or get overly excited, and stopped just before we had our climaxes and just sort of let them happen, if they could.

I reasoned that getting sexual relief without intercourse wouldn't actually be a "willful act" that way because we hadn't masturbated ourselves or actually given each other climaxes. It would take the edge off, make abstinence a little easier to bear and help us relax so we could sleep. My pseudo-legalistic hair splitting argument for sin-free sexual relief was pretty convoluted but she was horny enough to agree that it would be all right. I didn't have to say anything else. We kissed and hugged and massaged each other through our clothes.

We were both terrifically aroused! She was wearing a loose maternity nightgown now. It wasn't supposed to be sexy but it was to me. That ought to tell you the state I was in. She pulled it up to her waist, closed her eyes and spread her legs a little. She looked incredibly beautiful in the moonlight streaming through the window, illuminating the rounded outlines of her pregnancy and her firm, beautiful breasts. I started to unbutton her nightgown. She pushed my hand away after I got three buttons undone and whispered, "Stop, Honey! I need to keep my clothes on!"