His Itten Again 06

Hey everyone! Just a little news, I actually started a blog! There are so many times when I want to tell you guys things, but I have to wait until I can update the next chapter, so if you want to know where I'm at with the story, etc, you can go visit! Anyway, I hope you enjoy Ch 06 of His Kitten Again!

~shysubmissivegirl~

Chapter Six

~Alex~

I was miserable.

Absolutely miserable.

Emma had called this morning to tell me that she was going on another date with John. They had gone out every single night this week, as well as last week. After that first date, they'd decided that they'd hit it off.

This meant that every night, I sat at home alone. I usually had the television on to provide background noise for my sulking, but I never actually watched it. Mostly I wandered around the house, moving things to different spots, then moving them back, in an attempt to distract myself.

Why did I let him go out with her?

Oh come on, Alex, you know it's because you thought they weren't going to be compatible. Sure, John and Emma had potential to become close friends. But there was no way that they were suited to date in any way.

Well, it just goes to show how little you actually know her. Obviously they were meant to be, and you're destined to become one of those bitter old men chasing kids off your lawn with a cane.

Obviously.

I let out a frustrated sigh. I'd tried going on a date, and it had ended awfully. I felt so bad for the poor girl who had to listen to me mope about Emma and John. She was very sweet, but declined politely when I asked her out for another date. I didn't blame her. I was a wreck right now, and I didn't even want to hang out with myself. There was no way I could expect someone else to want to. So, I sat alone at home, wondering just exactly what John and Emma were up to this night.

Their first date had been my idea. I knew Emma wanted to go somewhere fun to get her mind off of things, and there was nothing more fun than a carnival. I'd also told him to bring her calla lilies, her absolute favorite flower. I knew she'd love them.

After the first date, John didn't ask me for help on planning where to go. Emma always told me the morning after what they'd done, but I had to sit there all night thinking about everything they could possibly be doing.

It lead to a rather hard night, which explained my misery.

Things between Emma and John were progressing rapidly. He'd kissed her after their fourth date, which had been spent at a fancy restaurant, sipping wine in the candlelight. Emma told me that it was one of the most romantic things anyone had ever done for her.

By their seventh date, John was staying later at her place than I thought was appropriate. Emma confided in me that she wasn't ready to actually sleep with him, but it looked like things were heading that way. I was livid that John was pressuring her to do things she wasn't ready for, but she reassured me that he was being a perfect gentleman and respecting her limits.

Every date Emma told me about made me more miserable than the last. It seemed as though each thing they did was something I'd always dreamed of doing with Emma. I loved telling her the dates I'd planned for the two of us if she ever came here, and now John was taking away my chance to do them with her. It was hard to deal with.

I hated feeling this out of control with the situation. At least before, I was able to control what I was doing, and I knew why I was doing it. Now, everything felt disoriented. I didn't know what to do, all I knew is that I wanted to do something to get my Emma back.

I sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh, strengthening my resolve. When Emma called me tonight, I would ask her to come over. I would tell her how I felt, and if she didn't feel the same way, then I would need to let her and John have their happily ever after, and try my best to be happy for them as well. Either way, after tonight, everything would be on the table.

But for now, I was miserable.

Absolutely miserable.

~Emma~

I was miserable.

Absolutely miserable.

I was sprawled out across my couch, barely listening to the television that John had turned on sometime during the past few hours. He was sitting on the ground, watching it intently while I impatiently counted the minutes until I could call Alex and tell him how the date had gone.

Don't get me wrong, I adore spending time with John. But it was obvious that he was not the one for me. We had both figured it out after that very first date, and we'd talked about it on the way home. He knew that I loved Alex, and so did I. I just didn't know how Alex felt about me.

We'd devised this plan to figure it out. We were pretending that John and I were hitting it off. Every night for the past two weeks, John and I had gone out on a "date." I'd told John about everything Alex had imagined doing with me, and we fed those same ideas back to him.

Let's get something straight here: John and I didn't ever go on a real date after that first one. Mostly, we sat at my place while he gave me chocolates and I cried and moped. He was like my best friend, and although I felt bad for dragging him through this, he didn't seem to mind too terribly.

"I can tell you're thinking about him again," I heard John say. I turned to look at him, groaning. He was looking up at me with worried eyes, his brow creasing in concern.

"I can't help it. How much longer do you think we're going to have to do this until something happens?" I whined. John laughed, patting my head from his place on the ground.

"It's okay Emma. He'll cave soon enough, and then you'll basically have the rest of your life to make him pay you back for it. Alright?" He was trying to appease me, like he did every night. I could tell that he was a little bit worried that Alex hadn't responded to the situation yet, but he didn't want to say anything that might worry me.

I didn't respond, and instead popped one of the chocolates that he'd brought into my mouth. He sighed and turned back to the television, grabbing one of the chocolates for himself.

We sat like that for another couple of hours, occasionally breaking away from the television to chat for a little bit. John was funny, and like I always did, I resented the fact that I didn't feel anything other than friendship towards him. I was sure he'd be a great partner in life, but I knew that Alex was the one for me.

Finally, eleven o'clock at night came. We both stood, like we did every night, stretching out the kinks we had from lounging around. I then led him to the door and hugged him goodnight. I always watched to make sure he got to his car safely before firmly shutting and locking up my apartment.

I sat there for a few minutes, before reaching for the phone. It was an unhealthy obsession, but every night I called Alex after John left. Tonight was no different, and I quickly dialed his number.

"Hello?" It was Alex. Good lord he sounded terrible.

"Hey. It's me."

"Emma. I need you..." My breath caught. Did he really just say that? "To come over.." he finished.

"Oh. Okay. What's up?" I was a little worried about him. He really sounded awful, worse than any other time that we'd talked. I hoped that something hadn't happened to him.

"Please come..."

"Okay, okay, I'm on my way right now. I'll be there in just a few minutes, I promise." I was searching through my purse for keys as I spoke to him, finally pulling them out and slinging my bag over my shoulder. "I'm leaving now, okay? I'll be there in less than five minutes."

I quickly hung up, and rushed out to my car. My heart was racing as I thought of every reason why he would ask me to come over. Oh god, please don't let him be hurt!

I sped over to his house, breaking ever traffic law known to man. I'm normally a very good, reasonable driver, but panic over Alex drove me to drive crazily. I parked hastily, and ran to his door. I didn't bother to knock and simply shoved the door open.

"Alex!" I yelled, looking around the room frantically. Breath, Emma. He's fine, you know he's fine. He probably just wanted to ask you in person how the date went. I took a deep breath and walked into the house with trepidation.

I didn't see him anywhere on the first floor, so I made my way up to the second floor. I peeked in the bathroom, but didn't see him. He must be in his bedroom, I decided.

As I walked down the hall, a flood of memories came over me. Him holding me while I cried into his shoulder. Thinking of him coming into the room while I slept. Telling him about the miscarriage. I shuddered. I didn't think about the miscarriage too often. It was still very painful to think that a poor, unborn baby had to be brought into this. But when I did think of the miscarriage, I knew that the child had saved my life. It took having a miscarriage to get me to realize that Jordan was abusive, and that I couldn't put up with it any longer.

I remembered his reaction when I'd told him about the miscarriage. Shock, anger, and then compassion. He was livid not only that Jordan had done this, but that I'd allowed it to get that far. He was so firm in his belief that no one ever deserved to be abused, no matter what. Alex always encouraged me to not do anything I didn't feel completely safe and comfortable with, and I'd ignored him by being with Jordan.

Finding Alex again was sheer luck. Yes, it was stupid dumb luck. But it's what I needed to shock me out of it. I'd planned to run from Jordan, but it was his memory that spurred me into action. It was his words that told me that I deserved better than what I'd been getting from Jordan. And if I was lucky enough, he would be the one to give me everything that was better than before.

I pushed open the door to his bedroom. Alex sat on the bed, staring at the wall. He didn't seem to really notice me for a few long moments. "Alex?" I called out. He turned towards me, a huge grin on his face.

"Hey. Emma. There you are."

"Alex, are you okay? You worried me..." I let my voice trail off, trying to not show him how scared I'd been. He'd sounded so terrible, and all the ideas of what might have happened to him had flooded into my mind.

"Just tired. I've been sleeping like crap since you moved out." He did sound worn out, and I started to make my apologies, getting ready to leave so that he could sleep. "No, Emma, stay. We need to talk."

I stopped in the doorway to his bedroom, intrigued. "What do you want to talk about, Alex?" I said carefully, making my way over to him. He patted the bed next to where he sat, indicating that I should sit there. I did.

"Emma..." His voice was like a gentle caress, and I longed to lean into him, to feel his arms come around me.

"Alex..." Before I knew what was happening, I felt his lips on mine. There was a burning flare of passion ignited inside of me, but he pulled away much too soon. I frowned, wanting him to kiss me again.

He pulled away from me completely, and scooted off the bed. He began pacing across the room, running his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You're dating John, and I had no right to do that either way. I'm so sorry Emma. I just don't know what to do with you." He sounded stressed.

I hopped off the bed and walked over to him, leaning in and kissing him before he could stop me. It was a deep and breathless kiss, and I couldn't help but moan into it. "We were never dating you idiot," I gasped breathlessly, pulling away.

He looked confused, and I didn't want to explain right then. "Now, as for what you should do," I paused and leaned in close to him, whispering in his ear. "You should tie me to the bed, and do whatever you please... Sir."

I could hear him groan, and felt his big strong hands push me onto the bed. I went without a fight, feeling a wave of submission come over me. I was sprawled out on his bed when his rough, stern voice interrupted my thoughts. "Stay, Emma."

I nodded eagerly, and forced myself to hold still. I wanted to squirm, run to him and beg him to touch me again, to kiss me again. Just everything. I heard him ruffling things around in his closet, and it took all of my will power to not look. His footsteps came back into the room, and I felt the roughness of cords on my wrist. I couldn't hold back the whimper that escaped me.

"Do you trust me, Emma?" He asked, stroking my wrist with a feather-light touch. I nodded quickly. Of course I trusted him. He'd been the one to get me out of danger, and I knew he would keep me there. "Do you..." He paused and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Do you remember your safeword?"

I nodded again. It was a fairly simple, common safeword. Red. I didn't like using it, but I knew that he would stop everything if I even uttered the word. Once I'd nodded, I felt the cord on my wrist draw tight, and my arm stretched above my head towards the corner of the bed.

Once he moved away from that wrist, I gently tugged, testing my leverage. I could move enough to still be comfortable, but not much at all. Alex had stopped at my feet, and was taking off my shoes. He dropped both of them to the ground, and tied more cord around each ankle, stretching them both towards their respective corners. He then made his way up to my other wrist, and carefully bound that in place.

I couldn't move at all, and a feeling of peace and calm settled over me. Everything was up to him now, and he could do anything he wanted with me. I squirmed at the possibilities. I was tied up, just like I'd been in my dream, and I was his.

"Please sir..." I began, the excitement I felt filling my voice. I took a deep breath, and tried to begin again, but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Despite everything we'd been through, I was shy at heart, and it was coming out as I was tied to his bed. A blush crept up my cheeks, and I lowered my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at him.

I felt his fingers stroking my warm cheek. "So beautiful," he murmured, leaning down and brushing a kiss there. I shivered under his lips, wanting to feel them everywhere on me. "Now, Emma. You're tied up, and I could do anything I wanted to you right now." I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Would you like to know what I'm going to do?" he whispered, his warm breath tickling my neck. I whimpered, and nodded. He pulled back, looking over me. "We're going to talk."

"What?" I shrieked, unable to hold back the whine. He frowned at me, and I could feel the disapproval radiating off him in waves. I lowered my eyes. "Sorry sir..."

"We're going to talk because that's the thing that we both need the most right now. I know you want to be fucked, I know you want me to touch you. But all of those things can come later. Right now, we need to establish a firm base of trust and we need to clear up everything that's happened these past few weeks. Understood?" His tone of voice left no room for argument, and I found myself nodding in agreement.

"That's my good girl." I shivered in pleasure. He had the most wonderful voice imaginable, and I loved being his good girl.

"Now, you tell me exactly why you lied to me, and don't even think about holding anything back," he ordered.

"I... I wanted to make you jealous sir. I thought that it would make you want me to see me with someone else..." I let my voice trail off, realizing how ridiculous I sounded. The plan had been stupid, but I'd been desperate. I hoped that he would understand that.

His laughter surprised me, and I looked up at him. His eyes were sparkling, and a grin adorned his face. "Oh kitten, I've always wanted you. I just didn't want to push you to do something you weren't ready for." He reached down and stroked my cheek again, and I leaned into it happily. "There better not be a next time, but if there's ever anything you want, just come talk to me about it."

I couldn't keep myself from blurting out, "Just like you came and talked to me sir?" I instantly regretted saying what I had, and I clamped my mouth down tightly. My cheeks flamed red again, and I wanted to bury my face in his bed and die.

His eyebrows pushed down low on his face. "Fair enough. I suppose I deserved that one. But remember, kitten. I don't tolerate disrespect. Teasing is fine, enjoyable even. Just remember that I'm in charge here, and you should respect me."

"Yes sir. Sorry sir."

"Don't be sorry. You had a fair point, so all is forgiven. Just remember in the future. Understood?" His corrections were firm but gentle, and I nodded happily. I was more than content with being reprimanded, especially when he'd mentioned there being a future.

"Good girl. Now, would you tell me how you managed to rope my best friend into all of this?" He seemed frustrated about this point specifically, so I knew I needed to defend John's actions. I didn't want Alex being upset with John, especially when he'd only been trying to help.

"I told John how much I loved you, and he wanted you to have that kind of love. Apparently you sounded a little jealous on the phone when he told you about the date, so he thought if he could get you more jealous, you'd finally crack and do something about it sir. He just wanted you to be happy." Alex's face smoothed, and he even smiled some.

"He's a good friend, I suppose. Even if he did have me thinking that he'd stolen my kitten away from me." We both laughed a little bit, and I felt his fingers trail across my stomach. I shivered a little, looking up at him with desire.

"Not yet," came his firm reminder, along with a flick on my armpit. It stung a little, but faded quickly. "We're not done talking yet, kitten. You need to behave so that we can finish."

I nodded, pouting a little. He chuckled and brushed his lips over mine. "Wipe the pout off your face. All good things will come in their own time, and don't you forget it."

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. Alex was right. We needed to get everything out in the open before we would be ready to have an actual relationship. This was important. "What else do we need to talk about sir?" I asked.

"I need to know if you're actually ready, Emma. I know you think you're confident in your own choices. But I want you to take five minutes. Really, truly think about. Are you sure you're ready to give yourself to another man. I mean, for all you know, I'm just like any other man you've ever met. There's never any guarantees that you'll be completely safe with me, other than my word. So, take these five minutes. Really, really think. I'll come back, and I expect and thought out answer, understood?"

I nodded, and watched him leave the room. I didn't like seeing him go, but I understood that we both needed this. Alex giving me this opportunity reaffirmed my trust in him, and I took the five minutes thinking over everything we'd done, everything we'd said, and how I could really show him how much I trusted him.

After five minutes, he came back in and sat in-between my spread legs. He looked at me intently, waiting for me to start.

"I trust you Alex. There are so many reasons why it's impossible to not trust you. Finding you here, it was like a dream come true. I was hurting, and you became my friend. You took care of me, you helped me to get on my own feet and do the things that I felt like I needed to do in order to become independent and stable again.

"I think that's what I really needed. A friend who would encourage me to do the things I felt were important. I think that our friendship is very important. Having it gives us something to fall back on. It gives us stability, and it's so reassuring to know that you're not just my Master, you're my friend.

"Being my friend has also given me the confidence that you will do what's best for me. Talking with you today, I know that you wanted more than friendship. But you were willing to be just friends and nothing more because it was what I needed. You put my needs above your wants in order to take care of me.