His smile was tight-lipped, but I could see by the look is his eyes that he wasn't entirely negative about me being there, lying on his bed. "Emma."
"S-Alex..." I never called him Alex, except in my head after we broke things off. It was always sir. Calling him Alex felt wrong somehow, but I knew that calling him sir wasn't appropriate. He wasn't my Master right now. Implying that he was would be wrong.
"Are you alright?" He reached out a hand, gently touching one of the many fading bruises on my cheek. His tough ignited a feeling inside of me, one that I hadn't felt in a very long time. I wanted to reach out a hand, press his palm to me and hold it there forever. Instead, I let out a small breath and nodded. His brow furrowed, and I could tell he wasn't convinced.
"Emma..." Oh god, his voice. Whenever I made a mistake when he was training me, he used this voice of his. His stern voice. And he would always say my name, warning me, and it would always send shivers down my spine. That part of me hadn't left, apparently, as the shiver still traced its way through my body, making me look up at him shyly.
He sighed, and ran a hand roughly through his hair. He wouldn't look at me anymore, and his frustration was becoming more and more apparent. I sadly lowered my eyes, studying my hands that were clutched together in my lap, knotting themselves together tightly.
He stood up from his spot at the end of the bed and came closer to me, and knelt down by the bed when he reached my head. "Emma, please. You need to tell me what to do to take care of you. I can't bear for you to be suffering if there's something I could do to help."
I gulped, and my hand instinctively settled over my abdomen, clutching it to me. Alex's eyes followed the motion, widening as they did so. "Are you..?" His voice trailed off. My throat tightened, and I didn't answer him. I don't think I could have gotten the words out, even if I'd wanted to.
"With... him?" The venom in his voice scared me, and I instinctively curled into myself. Whenever Jordan had used that voice, a beating was imminent.
"Emma..." he whispered, his voice sounding strained and caught. He took my hand in his, squeezing it gently. "What happened?"
I shook my head. I knew that if I told him, he would be so disappointed in me, and I don't think that I could handle that. I started to tear up, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. If I pulled away my hand to wipe it, he'd figure out that something was seriously wrong. I didn't want him to know.
I closed my eyes, trying to contain my tears. Damnit. The doctor said I'd be more emotional, but I didn't think it would be like this. I hate crying! I felt a thumb on my cheek, and opened my eyes quickly. Alex had reached up, and was gently wiping the tear away.
His thumb made its way down my cheeks, lingering on my lips. I whimpered softly, reveling in the feel of it, then jerked back into reality.
Rapidly, I scooted back away from him, curling myself into a ball as far away as I could. "Emma..?" Alex sounded panicked, but I tried to shut it out. "Emma!" I could hear the panic rising in his voice, and I let out a small shout of frustration. Why wouldn't he just go away?!
"Emma, look at me right now." Oh shit. It was his stern voice again. That was one thing that, no matter how far gone I was into my own world, I couldn't resist. I looked up, tears pooling in my eyes. With my vision blurred, I could barely see him.
"Damnit, Emma, I used to hate when you did that to me. Scared the shit out of me. You need to stop doing that, understood?" He raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to say no. I lowered my eyes and nodded slowly.
"Good girl."
I shivered again, cuddling into the comforter. Why was he doing this to me? I wasn't his submissive anymore. Why was he treating me like this, making me feel this way? Better yet, why was I reacting like this? His words should have no sway over me. And yet, they did.
He let out a long breath, and looked away from me again. "I'm sorry Emma. It's hard to remember the rules now that you're not mine. I'll try and behave myself while you're here, okay?" He looked back, this time a small half-smile adorning his face.
I nodded, giving him the same half-smile back.
I don't know how we did it, but somehow we did. I think part of it was that Alex hadn't been just my Master. He was my lover, my confidant, and my friend. Even now that he wasn't my Master, confidant, or lover, he was still my friend. Even after all that time, the bond still remained.
I think it always would. It just took us meeting up again to rediscover it.
Alex got up from his position on the ground by the bed and jerked his head towards the door. "Do you want to go take a shower or something? You know, get cleaned up?"
I blushed. He'd confided with me during my time as his slave that he had an intense fantasy about taking me while I showered, and I couldn't keep the thought from my mind. The color and heat filled my face as I remembered the slow, seductive way he'd told me. The chills that coursed through my body, how wet I'd gotten, and how he made me fuck myself with a toy afterwards.
It took several long moments to shake myself back to reality, and to remember that I wasn't his. He wouldn't use me that way, especially not when I was laying on his bed after I'd received a beating from my Master...
Wait, what had happened to Jordan?
"Alex?"
He looked up at me. "Yes?"
"What happened to... the guy who... did this to me?"
Alex studied me for several long moments, letting things drag out for a good long while, before he spoke. "Who was he, Emma?"
Frustration boiled up in me. I wanted to scream and shake him. Just tell me what happened to him! Instead, I remained calm, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "He was my Master."
Alex's face hardened, and I knew he was upset. "I'm sorry," I instantly said, used to apologizing to him whenever I saw that face. Old habits die hard, I suppose. Even though it had been a while, I was still used to being a submissive for him.
"Emma, don't you remember what I told you? That if we separated for some reason that you needed to be careful when you looked for a new Master. Some days I swear you just don't listen, kitten."
I froze. Did he just..? Alex froze too, looking at me carefully. "I'm sorry Emma, it just slipped out. I know that you're not mine anymore." He ran a hand through his hair, and I wondered for a moment if that was a tick he'd developed over the time we'd spent apart. He seemed to do it quite often.
"God this is hard."
He said it so softly, I wondered if I'd even heard it.
"I'm so sorry, Alex. I'm sorry." He looked at me. His eyes seemed so tired, and so worn out. Something inside of me clicked, and I knew what I needed to do. "Why don't you lay down while I go shower?" I suggested, seeing the little spark light in his eyes. Yes, he wanted to sleep.