I had never classified Todd, my boyfriend, as either dominant or submissive. We weren't into spanking or bondage or anything like that so these types of descriptions hadn't come up in any of our talks about sex. Instead of one of us taking charge, what makes our sex lives so satisfying is that we both work to make the other person happy whenever we're between the sheets.
Of course, particularly when we were new in our relationship, we've spoken about things we like and don't like, where we want to be touched or not touched, and, for me, the best route to an orgasm. Stuff like that but not anything about fantasies. Todd absolutely met my needs and, if he wanted anything different, he hadn't told me about it.
I'm not sure if we would ever have had the discussion if we hadn't gone to a work party where a very drunk co-worker informed everyone that her boyfriend refused to even talk about her fantasies let alone fulfill them. It was sort of funny at the time but I worried about what it would be like for her to go back to work the next week after making that announcement to everyone.
Evidently something else about her speech worried Todd. Neither of us had wanted to be the designated driver for the party, nor did we want to stress about how much we might have to drink so we had gotten a ride to the party. Later, as we Ubered home, Todd bluntly asked me if he was ignoring any of my fantasies.
The driver evidently had heard it all before since even if he heard the question, he didn't react. We were pulling up to Todd's apartment and I really wanted him to not start talking about our sex lives in public. Since I wasn't willing to talk in the car, I just told him that everything was fine.
When we got inside, he didn't bring it up again and we went to bed. It had been a long day and, being in a committed relationship, it wasn't unheard of that we slept together without having sex.
The next day though, as we straightened up after lunch, he reminded me of what he had asked in the car and he told me that he really did want to know if he was doing everything he could to make me happy in bed. He didn't want me to be silently dissatisfied (which I appreciated). I suspected that he preferred that, if there was something that I was unhappy about, I would tell him instead of announcing it to our friends at a party.
It sounded like he wasn't going to let this go so I figured I'd have to take a shot at answering his question. I told him that I hadn't brought them up as fantasies but that I had made requests and that he generally did a good job of meeting them.
He wanted specifics. I reminded him that early in our relationship, I asked him to not keep licking me after I came since my clit gets really sensitive and it actually ruined my orgasm. I'm very well aware that, pre-orgasm, I get noisy enough that it shouldn't be a secret to him that I'm about to cum. I had told Todd that he should use this as a signal to move his mouth back and he did. So, I reminded him that he had done something I asked and that had made me very happy.
Yeah, he said but that's just during normal sex. What about a fantasy?
Evidently, he had forgotten about me describing what it's like to be multi-orgasmic and how the second can be even better than the first. If the guy I'm with just stops after I cum, I'm not exactly unhappy but I can be left wanted more. Since I told him this, Todd's been great at giving his best shot to making me cum a second time. It doesn't work every time we have sex but I still give him credit for trying. I told him that no one had ever done that for me before so it had been a fantasy and he had made it come true.
That seemed to sort of satisfy him and he seemed ready to let the subject drop. The chat got us both horny so we stopped talking and went to his bedroom to play.
But, as we lay there afterward, I started wondering about whether Todd had fantasies that I wasn't meeting. Believer in sexual reciprocity that I am, I felt like I should now ask him the same question.
I didn't think that Todd brought up fantasies as a way to ask me to do something for him. I really believed that he was concerned about me being unhappy and I appreciated that he was concerned about me. That said, I was surprised that he had an immediate answer for me. And, what he told me was probably the last thing I'd have expected from him.
Todd told me that he had a fantasy of being tied to the bed. Okay, a bondage fantasy wasn't a total shock since I knew it was a thing even if I hadn't done it. My impression was that it was the girl who would be tied to the bed so she could be ravaged by the guy.
Apparently not always. Not in Todd's fantasy. Him tied to the bed was a different picture than I got from my limited knowledge of bondage. I gave up trying to figure it out myself and instead, I asked him what he would want me to do to him while he was tied down. "You apparently have a picture of this, so tell me what it is." He paused, sort of gulped, then described what he had been thinking of but had never asked for.
"I'm tied down to the bed naked and I'm wearing a sleep mask so I can't see what you're doing. You're wearing that blue dress but with nothing under it."
Okay, this was a pretty specific picture and if he know how he wanted me dressed, he had evidently thought it through. I am aware that he likes my blue sundress and how it looks on me but I hadn't thought of his "gee, you look nice tonight" complements as relating to a sexual fantasy. It is a great dress and I do know that I look pretty good in it. It's short enough to show off my legs and it's got elastic under the bust so it emphasizes my boobs, particularly when I let them be free. So yeah, I know that it's his favorite of my clothes other than not wearing any.
"But if you're wearing a sleep mask and can't see, why do you care what I'm wearing or not wearing?"
"Shut up. It's my fantasy and you said I should tell you the picture that's in my mind."
