Part 2: Carrots and Ice Cream
By Firefly
"It is not often I have a student who is both brilliant, but also lazy."
This coming from Professor Barnes who was sitting on the edge of his desk after class had ended and Lily had come up to speak with him. It was a conversation he had to approach delicately because he believed in all of his students and didn't want to scare her off. He crossed his arms over his chest, fingernails idly scratching at the edge of one of the strips of the tape holding the plastic down over his most recent tattoo. A series of hooves intertwined to form a unique design embroidered with what looked like Celtic knots and crosses.
Lily reached up, running fingers through her thick hair, smoothing it out a little bit more as she considered her words.
"Look. Professor Barnes..."
She paused when he held up his hand to stop her mid-sentence.
"Miss McKinsey, you've been giving me excuses since the day class started. Why is it, that you're one of my smartest students and yet the only one who is on the verge of failing out in her first year? Based on your assignments, you should be at the top of my class, and yet you continually earn yourself zero's because you've only handed in what, two assignments? On-time? That sort of thing isn't going to cut it out in the real world my dear. How many times do you think your employer is going to accept you being late on a project?" Professor Barnes tilts his head to the side. This was the first time the pair of them had really had this conversation. But in his mind, it was needed. He didn't like to see anyone fail, even if it was their own fault. Everyone deserved a chance.
Lily lowered her gaze to the floor, taking a sudden interest in the scuff marks on the toes of her flats as she spoke.
"I'm sorry." She said softly, unsure what else to say.
"I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, isn't going to cut it this time Miss McKinsey. I have a limit for how many sorries a student can turn in before I'm at my limit. I need to see real change from you before the end of this quarter or I'm going to have to recommend you be removed from my class and I imagine the other instructors are likely to follow suit, your record so far does not paint a very bright picture despite the fact that you are here on a scholarship only given to a hundred people a year for leaping off the page. So far, I'd say you're just another book on the shelf. I want you to earn that scholarship and shine as brilliantly as you're meant to. But at this rate, that's not going to happen. Do you understand what I'm getting at?"
Lily nodded, "I do. I just don't know WHAT to do about it. I'm trying..."
"Try harder, or find something that ignites your passion and doesn't feel like trying. Being able to absorb information without having any passion for it serves little purpose. Being the smartest person in the room is pointless unless you can use that knowledge for something you love. When I graduated, I could have gone into research. But I hated that corporate world. I hated that place in the lab, I found my passion in passing knowledge on to others. Never once do I come into work and feel like I have to force myself to work hard at what I do." He lifted a glass tablet from his desk and flipped through it several times until a picture of Lily along with her student profile came up.
"You're here under a general degree, but what is it you want to do after you're done at University? What is going to get Lillian McKinsey out of bed every morning, ready to take on the world?"
Lily opened her mouth to respond and yet again Professor Barnes lifted his hand to stop her, "Don't answer. Don't give me an excuse. I want you to think long and hard about your future, and your place in this university then come back to me tomorrow with your plan. Or at least the ability to ask how you can make up the waterfall of zero's I've had to put on your record. Understood?"
"I understand Professor Barnes. Thank you." Her voice sounded weak, almost defeated. It was a reality she'd been trying to avoid staring in the face for the last few months and it was just getting worse and worse. This was not making things any easier. How many letters could she send home telling her parents things were going great and she was doing very well in university? How many times could she keep lying?
"Don't thank me with words. Thank me by doing better. Maybe add an extracurricular or two to your schedule and get that blood pumping so you get a good night's sleep and get up on time, hm? Now off with you, I expect to hear back from you tomorrow. For better or worse, your future is yours to make Miss McKinsey!" He said this as he slid off his desk, scooped up his bag from his desk, and walked towards the far exit that lead to the staff lounge. He waved a hand before disappearing out the door into the hall and leaving Lily standing there in a myriad of thoughts.
Had he done the right thing? Only time would tell.
Lily adjusted her messenger bag slightly and smoothed out her skirt idly, taking a moment to poke her belly softly. She'd gained a bit of excess weight since she'd come to university, that certainly wasn't helping her struggles. But the worst part is she knew Professor Barnes was right. She needed to do something because she was running out of rope to hold onto and keep herself afloat. In her bag, her phone tittered audibly, pulling her out of her thoughts.
Pulling her phone out of her bag she'd open up the message.
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Serrah: Wanna go get some ice cream?
Lily: Yeah. I think I could use it.
