It had years since I had last seen Lee, the neighbor kid who had guided me with the ease of a master down the road of servitude into a state of complete and depraved slavery. The extremely humbling experience with Lee, Kay, my former girlfriend, and others of my youth was finally set aside once I got away from the small town where we all lived. Running away, literally, I went to college as far from my hometown as possible. After school, I settled down, married and began a lucrative career in law.
As a promising attorney I joined a fairly large firm in a big city and slowly but determinedly worked my way up the ladder of success. In spite of the warped sexual discretions that still inhabited in the recesses of my mind, I finally managed to overcome Lee's bizarre influence and lead a fairly normal existence. In fact, in my last year at law school, I met the woman who would be my future wife, Kerri.
Kerri remains a beautiful brunette with a body that is just short of being a knockout. Often, I wondered why she chose to settle down with me but every day I'm thankful she did. Her beauty often reminds me of the lost love of my high school life, Kay, the girl I seemed destined to surrender to my high school rival, Lee.
Obviously, Kerri knows nothing about the embarrassing and humiliating period of my youth, the demeaning and subservient time when I so easily gave up all sense of pride and freedom to the arrogant, haughty Lee. There was no need to discuss that period with her. After all, what could I tell her?
"You see Kerri, once I had this need to subject myself to another male." Obviously, the confession would come with a sense of emasculation and total embarrassment. Naturally, she would be filled with way too many questions.
"What do you mean, subject yourself?" she would ask incredulously, as no normal person could possibly understand the perverse need I had to succumb to another to the point where I was a mere lackey to his every whim.
"I mean I became his slave," I would admit in utter humiliation. "I obeyed his every command. If he wanted me to do something, no matter what it was, no matter how humiliating, no matter how degrading to me, I obeyed." My eyes would be downcast as I revealed my corrupt inner self.
"What sort of things did he have you do?" she would continue in total disbelief, each question diminishing her respect for me, each truth lowering my own self-respect.
"It started with just simple chores. I carried his books to school, I mowed his lawn, washed his cars, that sort of thing," I would begin to explain, hoping to keep my revelations at the mundane level.
"Oh. Well that's not too bad. Maybe you were just being helpful. Did you have to do anything else?" Her curiosity would raise its ugly head and demand more details, not satisfied with merely embarrassing me. She would want every sordid example.
"During his parties, I served as his waiter." Memories of jumping to the snap of his fingers flashed through my head.
"Oh. I guess that's all right. I can understand that even though it does seem a bit too much for high school friends."
"You misunderstand." If she had seen us together, she would have realized that there was no way I was equal to Lee. "I wasn't his friend."
"You weren't? But you were both young boys. What kind of relationship did you have with him then?"
"I told you. I was his... slave."
"But Rob, I don't understand. There is no such thing as slavery any more. People don't own one another. How in the world did you become his slave? How did he make you do those things?"
"He didn't make me," I would whisper. Explaining why I willingly allowed the pompous neighbor to completely take control of my life, to literally own me was the difficult part, mainly because it was hard for even me to understand sometimes. How would I tell her why I succumbed to his every demand? How could I explain how every day it became easier to obey his imperial, lofty commands? How could I justify how erotic, exotic even, it was to literally bow down to this god-like figure even when I hated him for it? How could I justify my need to succumb, humble myself, and humiliate myself?
"I guess I did what he demanded because there was a part of me that wanted to. He was so... superior that I felt I had to obey."
"I don't understand! You willingly became his slave? What kind of person are you?" she would accuse, seeing me for the first time as the pitiful excuse of a man that I really was.
"It's true," I would answer, hating myself for feeling excited as I continued to reveal my inner self to the woman I loved. "I was no kind of man. I was far less than a man. I told you. I was a slave." The confession would take on a life of its own and as the surge of lust flowed through me I would tell her everything. My need to debase myself completely would overcome me. "It gets worse."
"How could it possibly get worse?" she would demand.