Heart-Bound

HeartBound

Chapter 2: Bonding

We stared at each other for a long second... Minute? I don't know... I was frozen and acutely aware that, with my knees spread as they were, my pussy was on full display and my fluids were dripping down my perineum onto the sheets. Eventually I reached down to turn off the vibrator.

Luckily she broke the silence first.

"So..." she pointed at the monitor behind me, "Bondage... You're a dirty bish."

I laughed and pressed my knees together and crossed my legs together in a horizontal 'L' to cover my crotch as I reached for my shorts... "You were the one staring, you filthy bitch."

"You're the one displaying your shit like it's a piece of art at the Smithsonian you silly baaatch."

"Your the one that... that...

fuck

... Biatch." I facepalmed and laughed... I think in that moment my face was probably as red as my hair. I closed the laptop and unplugged the headphones and moved both to my bedside table, more to busy myself than anything and asked, "How long have you been there?"

She shrugged, and put her backpack on the end of her bed and sat on the edge of her bed across from me, she gave me the kindest, most comforting smile then, like a smirk, with one side of her mouth pulled up but her upturned eyebrows and the way she looked at me was screaming, 'my bad'.

"Long enough to hear you moan '

yes mistress

' and to know you were close. I didn't know what to do, I kind of froze, but I was also... fascinated." She hugged herself then, and I had a feeling that we were both in our own separate bubbles of awkwardness.

It took a second to register, but I just had to ask. "Wait, why fascinated?"

"I'm into it too, and I've never really had anyone to talk to about it."

I sat up and leaned forward, towards her, I grabbed my shorts and balled up in my hands. We were on our beds opposite each other, our own little islands, bubbles of safety. If we had this in common there was a part of me that wanted to take these islands and reform Pangea. But all I could think to say was, "Wait really?"

She nodded, "Well yeah. When my Dads gave me 'the talk' about the birds and the bees I didn't exactly feel like asking which one likes to be tied up and spanked!"

I laughed, "Yeah, when a bird loves a bee she chokes that bee, but just a little, in a good way."

She laughed, and with both of us laughing I felt all the tension leave the room. "So..." she said.

"... I should... put on my shorts... and take a shower." I finished.

"Why bother with the shorts if you're taking a shower. Bish I saw you're 'O Mistress' face I think modesty has flown out the window, up through the stratosphere and disintegrated into the Sun at this juncture."

I laughed and with my shorts covering my crotch walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I dropped the shorts on the floor, pulled back the curtain and turned on the water to warm. Then sat down to pee.

When my mom gave me her half of what constituted a 'sex talk' she told me always pee after sex or I would get a UTI. I hadn't thought to ask about masturbation, so I just made it a habit to pee after I masturbated.

I wiped myself clean, flushed everything, and checked the water. It was nice and warm. I pulled off my tank top and dropped it next to the shorts and stepped into the shower pulling the curtain closed behind me.

I had gotten my loofah nice and soapy and had just started scrubbing when I heard the bathroom door open and close.

"Hello?" I called out.

a deep growly voice, "

Do you like

scary

movies

?"

"The

fuck

!?" it was more an exclamation than a question.

"It's just me bish." Claire said chuckling.

"Okay, I knew that but, what... Are you just using the vanity or you need to pee or something cause I can hurry."

"No. I just wanted to talk."

"While I'm showering?"

"Yeah why not? Don't make it weird."

"I'm not

making

it weird, I'm just. Naked."

"Fine..."

I hear a rustling of clothes and a few moments later the curtain is pulled back and Claire is standing there topless. I was once again struck with a bit of jealousy at her tits. They were large, and slightly tear-shaped. Even without a shirt or bra, the way they sat perfectly forward on her chest created cleavage nearly top to bottom. She had nice round brown areolae perfectly in proportion to her breasts.

"There. Now everyone has seen everyone's tits. Can we talk now?"

I laughed, I couldn't help it. "Yeah, some with more tit than others, but fine just close the curtain. You're letting out all my delicious steam."

"Oh shut up, you're a solid 'D' cup. Remember, we've been bra shopping together."

"Yeah,

one

D. You have like, 4 D's on me so hush." I laughed and resumed scrubbing my skin with my loofah.

"Sooo... about that video you were watching..."

My mind went back to the dungeon, and I rotated the nozzle from warm towards cold a little.

"Uh-huh?"

"Well have you ever done that?" she asked.

"The dungeon stuff? No... I've only... hell. Look, don't laugh." I suddenly felt very vulnerable. I was naked, trapped in the shower, and I felt like if she judged me for this, even after... No.

Especially

after seeing me masturbating I might implode.

"okay...?"

"I've never really done anything. With anyone." I said, then held my breath.

"Oh... Sorry, I didn't know." Claire said sincerely.

There was a moment of silence between us before Claire said, "So what? So you're a virgin, no biggie. I'm sure you'll find the right guy when you're ready."

Another moment of silence.

"Yeeeeah, about that..." I said tentatively.

"Wait... Are you not a virgin I thought-"

"About 'the right guy'" I interjected.

"

Ooooooooh

... and I

just

showed you my tits."

"

Yeeeaaah

... It's okay though, you are thoroughly friend-zoned if that helps." I said, laughing nervously.

"Actually it does. Thanks." she laughed.

I rinsed my body and started shampooing my hair, "

OH SHIT

!" I exclaimed, the post orgasm haze finally lifting fully, "Hey what time is it? I have English Lit at Two and if you're here that means I need to hustle."

Claire laughed, "No it's only twelve-thirty. Our nude model canceled last minute. so Professor Harty replaced the class with an essay on impressionism and dismissed us early.

It suddenly clicked, "And that's why you got here early... and caught me..."

"In flagrante delicto as it were." She said, "Yeah. Exactly. So you've got time."

I rinsed the shampoo from my hair and grabbed the conditioner, working it into my scalp first, then grabbing more and threading it into the length of my hair, gathering it all up into a ball and working it in until my hair was saturated with it.

"So... you've never... done anything, with anyone?"

"Well... I was not really um... popular or pretty in High School. I was awkward, I had braces and I spent almost all my time studying. I stuck to reading and playing video games mostly."

"What about Prom? Didn't you go?" she asked

I laughed bitterly, "With whom?"

"Good point. Sorry."

"It's fine. I'm over it." I could feel my mood turning.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I said I'm over it. Just... It's

fine

." I lied.

I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair, gave my whole body a fresh rinse and turned off the water.

Claire handed me a towel through the gap in the shower curtain and I bent over at the waist, gathering all my hair up over my head and wrapping it in the towel. I asked for another and she obliged. I wrapped myself up, with the towel over the top of my breasts and stepped out.

Claire was wearing her shirt, but her bra was in her hands, and she was looking at me apologetically, "I didn't mean to dredge up painful shit it's just that... You're my

best friend

and I have no one to talk to about this BDSM stuff and I thought maybe we could..."

"I don't have any experience with it Claire, what could I

possibly

have to talk about or contribute?" I snapped.

She threw up her hands and backed away, "Okay clearly I struck a nerve. Sorry. Didn't mean to drag out your inner bitch."

I knew I was being shitty. She did hit a nerve, but I was in the moment and all up in my feels, and not in a pleasant way. I took a deep breath. "Sorry but not all of us can be sex-perts. I just... I get that you

think

we have this cool thing in common, but I don't. I couldn't possibly."

She threw up a finger, "One, I'm not a sex-pert, and I

really

hope you're not about to sit here and slut shame me for being with

two

guys in my entire life." A second finger came up, "Second, I'm trying to ask if you want to change that." She was breathing heavily. Staring at me severely and I could tell that despite my pissy attitude she was still trying to be nice.

I sighed. I looked down at the water pooling around my feet on the tile floor. I resolved to pull my head out of my ass for a moment.

"How?" There was the honest question, with a sharp edge to it. I couldn't look at her.

"Well... There is a club... A BDSM club."

I looked up, "You've been to a BDSM club?"

"I

know

of a BDSM club. I've never gone. When have we

ever

gone to a club, or to a bar? You know how I feel about crowds."

I nodded. Realizing now I'd probably hit a nerve. I looked at her. "You're right. My bad. But... Why bring it up then?"

"Well... I certainly wouldn't want to go

alone

..." she smirked and looked at me hopefully.

I looked at her. My breath caught in my throat. Could we really do this? I mean, yes? I was suddenly nervous and excited. The woman with black hair flashed into my head. Her paddle slapping her hand. I shook the thought from my head. I had to get through English, and I couldn't do this to myself right now.

"I mean... I could go with you. If that's what you're saying."

She beamed at me.

"Wait, can we even get in?" I asked, feeling my hope deflating even as I said it.

She gave me a mischievous smirk. "Eighteen and up."

"So... when do you want to go?"

"We could do Friday?" she offered.

I started wondering what I would wear, "I might need new clothes..."

She nodded, opened the bathroom door and walked out, "Good point, shopping Friday afternoon, homework in the evening and go Saturday night?"

I pulled the towel off and started actively drying myself. "Sounds good."

It was only Tuesday, Claire was done with her one class because it got canceled, but I had English Lit and Wednesday we both had a busy schedule. Saturday seemed so far away.

I dried off and I got dressed. A bra and a camisole, panties --

duh

-- and some skinny jeans, Levi's pop idol fit. Then I went to put on makeup. I was ready with fifteen minutes left to get to class and said "bye" to Claire and headed out. I could always work on my other homework in the classroom while I waited.

I like English Lit. I'm an avid reader. Listening to a Professor wax eloquent about Jane fucking Austen for forty-five minutes is just trite though. It was a good class, and he had good points, I just couldn't help but roll my eyes when he described the plight of 18

th

century women and how gendered roles affect us today as the 'most persistent injustice of our time'. Like he's not entirely wrong and I'm sure his dick is very sad about unequal pay even as he continues to benefit from it.

Anyways, it was pretty uneventful, this guy -- nice guy, blond, wore glasses, kind of cute for a man -- approached and asked if I wanted to get coffee or something and talk about essay ideas. I started to politely decline. He was nice, but I didn't want him to get the wrong idea about me, which is why I declined invitations to 'study' with men. I had been approached a few times, but I always made an excuse, 'No Thanks, promised my roommate I'd help her', or 'I have another class and I need to get over there'.

It's not that I don't like guys or think we couldn't be friends. Most of my High School friends were guys, but I could never get a read on whether it was a friendly cup of coffee, or like. Something more.

This was my thought process on the day actually, which is why I said I

started

to politely decline, instead what I said was.

"Sure, if you're buying. But if we're going to be discussing 18

th

century feminism you should probably keep your eyes off my tits." I smiled. I was joking, and no, I hadn't caught him staring. We do by the way. We

always

notice when you stare.

I half expected him to get upset and bail, but another part of me had a different theory. This was one of my tactics. Say something off-putting and let them bail. Instead he leaned forward, his face coming towards my ear. My body stiffened involuntarily at his sudden closeness. He said quietly in my ear, "I don't pitch for your team sweetie."

I laughed. That got me. I had a feeling, but I wasn't sure. He had a slightly effeminate voice, but so also do some non-binary and bi-sexual folks, and I didn't want to make any assumptions. Hence the test.

We walked to a Starbucks that was literally one block from the edge of the Campus, which was a damn brilliant property buy on their part. He introduced himself as Josh, and I said "I'm Sasha, nice to meet you."

We sat outside with our laptops and backpacks. He asked what I wanted, I asked for a Venti Caramel Frappe, and he went inside to get our drinks. Meanwhile I double checked my Anatomy & Physiology homework one last time for any errors. Claire and I both had Bio Wednesday morning so I wanted to make sure it was done before I moved on to this English Essay.

I finished proofing the Bio homework right as he got back. He was wearing a Hellova Boss T-shirt featuring the werewolf character Luna. I hadn't noticed it before. I honestly tried to avoid looking at men, afraid they would read it as this secret signal to come hit on me. The subject of sexual assault on campus had been brought up multiple times by my father, often unprompted and it had perhaps made me a bit paranoid.

He sat down and passed me my Frappe and grabbed a third chair and pulled it over to our small table, I must've looked at him weird because he waved a hand at me dismissively as he sat across from me.

"So...

Sasha

." he held eye contact as he took a sip from his ice coffee, "You're a beautiful redhead with a great rack who is constantly turning down men. What's your deal, anti-social or gay?"

"That's awfully forward, and presumptuous of you." I said it nicely, I wasn't going to let him push my buttons.

"Which part, the part about you turning down men, or being gay?"

"Either...

Both

."

"I've seen you get approached by guys multiple times, some of them,

very

cute and you always say 'No Thank you', and walk away."

"Not always..." I was actually thinking about it now, and had to conclude that with the exception of Josh... Yes. Always.

He laughed, "How many guys have approached you now? Six,

Seven

? Not counting me, I've never seen you leave class with one."

"Are you stalking me?"

"No. I'm a Psych and Sociology double major and I watch people. For science. I

notice

shit. Plus we have several classes together, not that you've noticed."

He had me there. In avoiding letting my gaze linger on any man not called Professor, I was very unobservant about what classes he and I shared.

About then a tall man with a barrel chest, huge arms, short red hair and a full red beard walked up. He waved at Josh and sat down with a coffee.

He gave me a curt nod, "Sup?"

I looked at Josh.

"This is my friend Brandon, he's

very

straight and now that you're both here maybe you can Ginger-Powers-Activate and summon me a twink." Josh said smiling.

"Oh what fresh

faggotry

did I step into?" Brandon asked.

"Don't mind him, he's chronically offensive and I only keep him around because I'm going to write my dissertation on his perpetual need to drive people away with a defensive shield of assholishness. Brandon, this is Sasha."

"Wait, isn't twink offensive?" I asked.

Josh laughed, "Are you

seriously

asking about 'twink' while giving 'faggotry' a pass?" he said, chuckling.

"Whoops?" I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head.

Josh shrugged, "Not to me, it really depends on who you're talking to. My best friend Kate calls me a faggot, but she says it with love. If someone else did it

I

.

Would

.

Throw

.

Hands

." he clapped to punctuate the last four words and Brandon and I laughed.

"That's fair, Claire and I call each other Bitch all the time."

"Girlfriend or

girlfriend

?" Josh asked.

"The first one. She's my bestie." I replied.

"Are we gonna work on this Essay or braid each other's hair?" Brandon asked.

"Don't mind him, he was in the..." Josh looks at Brandon smirking, "

Army

was it?"

"Oh

fuck

you Josh."

"

Oh

, are you switching teams? I don't

usually

bottom, but I could make an exception for you."

"Again, and I cannot emphasize this enough.

Fuck

. You."

"Oh Jesus, fine! It was the Marine Corps, which is why he is a twenty-three year old freshman."

I found myself looking at Brandon differently from that point on. He was crude sure, but for all of his rude comments and

'fuck you's'

there was never a hint of malice in his voice. Annoyance, sure, but not anger.

The introductions out of the way we moved on to our essays. We discussed ideas and settled on different approaches so we weren't writing about the same thing. As we each got started we bounced ideas off each other to keep the writing going. Whenever someone seemed to get stuck we'd chip in with new concepts to consider. As the sun started to set I was pretty sure my first draft was almost done and decided to check my phone.

It had been muted for class and I had missed a few texts from Claire asking where I was and if I was okay. I never really spent time out of the dorm room and it suddenly occurred to me that I should text her next time I decided to go out. She hadn't

fully

freaked out or anything. It was just three texts with the last one saying she was guessing I was at the library, and to text her back when I got her texts.

I gathered up my things and excused myself. Texted Claire that I would be on my way soon, and left to walk back to the dorms. They offered to walk me there, but I said no. I

probably

should have said yes, given my rampant paranoia, but it was still light out and it was only a ten minute walk. An uneventful one it turned out.

I got to our room safely, let myself in and immediately unclasped my bra under my shirt and pulled it off. I tossed it on the bed where I sat to wriggle out of my jeans.

Claire and I talked for a while. I told her about Josh and Brandon and went about finishing my essay. Eventually I worked the rough draft into a first draft, clicked save and set my laptop on the bedside table to charge. I wasn't really tired yet so I turned on the Xbox to play Mass Effect.

A few hours later and Claire was reminding me we had Bio at 9 a.m. So I saved my game and shut it down.

As I laid down I thought about Saturday, what it might be like... and what on Earth was I going to wear...