I have known him for a long time, but I am realizing that he wants to control me. Not all the time, but there are times when he wants total control. I thought I knew so much about him but the more I am learning, the more scared and aroused I am becoming. I am not sure why I feel both at the same time. Sometimes when we talk it is normal, but then there are times I recognize that he wants me to call him Master. I know there are times he wants me to be the one in control. I need to learn how to switch. I need to learn to be submissive when he is the Master.
He has raped me twice but we always had a safe word. When the pain was too much I could use the word and he would stop using force and finish. It was so frightening and arousing at the same time and I would try to fight him off, even though I knew deep down I was no match. My need for control made me fight as hard as I could, even knowing I did not have the strength. I did not want to make it easy for him. He knows what physically hurts me and how much I can take.
Then I made a mistake. I told him next time there would be no safe word. Now he has become my Master. He tells me I have no idea what he is capable of doing to me, and I know he cares for me, but he won't care about me when he is raping me. I will just be some whore that he is intent on hurting, for his sexual pleasure. He is now my Master and I cannot go back. I left to meet him in Vegas for a few nights. I was so excited to see him but I could feel myself scared at the same time. I brought everything with me that he told me to bring. I brought the outfit he told me to buy, and the collar and leash he told me to buy, and a few other things.
I was shaking as I entered the hotel and got the key he had left for me at the front desk. He was already here and I did not know what he would be like when I entered the room. It was a warm day in Vegas so I wore tight jeans and a tank top and sandals for the drive. I figured I would dress up later when we went out, in the outfit he told me to wear.
I entered the room and smiled and said hello as I brought in my suitcase and set down my purse. He was not happy to see me. He called me a cunt and told me I could not speak unless he told me I could, and I did not call him Master. I wanted so much to please him and I messed-up as soon as I entered the room. How could I make such a simple mistake? Then it was the look in his eyes that told me he was not mad, he was enraged. He walked over to me and ripped my tank top off, leaving it torn and unusable. He tried to rip the jeans off but they were tight. He called me a bitch and told me to take them the fuck off now. I said yes to my Master and took my sandals off as well.
He grabbed my neck and told me to get in the fucking tub. I could feel my body shaking and my legs did not want to move. I had to force myself to walk into the bathroom. He let go of my neck but grabbed my right arm and twisted it behind my back as he pushed me faster into the bathroom. I stood in the tub and shook as he told me to get on my knees and face him. He unzipped his jeans and pulled out his long thick cock. I thought he was going to make me fuck his face. My bony knees were hurting from the tub and I wanted to rest my arms on the side of the tub but I knew this would anger him, so I stayed kneeling. He told me to shut my eyes and open my mouth.