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Guardian Program Ch 20
A novel by R.C.PeterGabriel, all rights reserved.
Three hours earlier, eight PM Poison, Montana: Toni having spent the day, completely conflicted, had given up on distracting herself. She decided to get ready for bed early, and knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep, downed fifty milligrams of diphenhydramine.
She knew she probably wouldn't hear the phone, so she changed the voicemail message that only Robert's phone would trigger. But, as soon as she slid under the covers, the doorbell rang.
She certainly didn't want company and continued to lay quietly for a moment. When the bell rang a second time, she sighed and got up, walked to the intercom, and pressed talk.
"Who is it?" She asked, even though all she had to do was raise her head and look. The monitor showing the front porch was attached to the intercom. Toni chose to lean her head on the wall next to the button instead.
"Toni, it's Debra. Bill told me what happened. I'm so sorry. Can I come in? I think we should talk about it."
Continuing to lean on the wall, she pondered her response. On one hand, she really didn't want company, on the other, she knew that since she had decided not to have Bill arrested, she was going to have to have this conversation with Debra sooner or later.
"I guess so, Debra. Come in, I'll be right down."
She buzzed the front door and went into Robert's closet. Mostly because she wanted to smell him, but also because it was closer to the intercom.
She grabbed a pair of his pajamas. At first, she wondered why he even had them because she couldn't remember him ever wearing them. Then she remembered he had worn them last winter when Jessie had friends over.
She slid the pants on and tied the drawstring, then buttoned herself into the shirt. Glancing in the mirror she decided she looked like a little girl, in her father's clothes. Pulling the fabric up around her nose and inhaling, she could smell Robert, ever so slightly, so she decided looking ridiculous was worth it.
She went down to the living room and found Debra behind the bar. "I hope you don't mind Toni, but I really need a drink. Can I get you one?"
"Why not?" she thought out loud, then approached and sat down.
Debra slid a highball across the bar and with her glass in hand joined her on a stool. Taking a pull from her glass, she sat down while sliding a hand over Toni's knee in a consolatory gesture.
"I can't imagine what you've been going through. And I can't believe my husband would do that to you."
Toni stared at her glass for a brief moment, then after pulling her sleeve up far enough to grip it, she lifted it to her mouth and chugged the entire contents. She could taste Robert's best one-hundred-proof aged bourbon and felt the smooth burn as it went down. She knew it was going to hit her hard. That was the point, nothing else had seemed to help, and maybe getting sloppy drunk would allow her to forget. Looking down at Debra's hand, she suddenly needed a hug.
"Oh, Debra. What are we going to do?" She leaned forward with her arms out, looking even more like a child in Robert's bedclothes.
Debra automatically hugged her and then led her to the couch. "You should go easy on the drinking, Toni. You won't be able to think this through properly."
"I really don't want to think about it anymore. I'm so mixed up that it isn't close to being funny. The two of you are supposed to be our friends! Do I let Robert murder Bill? Do I banish Bill as a friend and try to keep you as one, which I can't imagine working out? Do I punish you and disavow both of you?
"I should have called the cops right then and there, but I just couldn't. Everything I've heard about rape says the victim gets raped again by the courts and a third time by the media. I broke the first rule of rape anyway and took a shower. So, all I have is my word. Debra, I ..."
Tears started to flow, and the two women embraced again. "... Part of me wants to kill him myself, or at least beat the living shit out of him."
Anger seemed to help, so she decided to hold onto it. She broke the hug and looked Debra in the eye. "I don't know for sure if it would help or not, but I think it would. Debra, I want to castrate your husband."
Debra smirked. "Toni, every woman who has ever been raped, wishes the same thing. Hell, I've thought about castrating him myself. Unfortunately, I don't think you could do it without a prison sentence since you didn't do it at the time. But, I think I have a way for you to work through this and come out okay.
"The last time we were over, Robert said something, and I wasn't sure if he was joking or not."
"What are you talking about? My head is starting to feel numb, so out with it, or I get a knife and cut Mr. Johnson's head off."
"Okay, do you have a room in the basement where Robert ties you up?"
"What?" Toni asked, then realized what Debra had meant and started blushing, despite the situation. "Um, yes and no, why?"
"Because I'm going to tie Bill up, and let you beat him until you feel better that's why."
"Debra, Robert is into that kind of thing, I'm not. Besides, I doubt he would just stand there and let you tie him up, knowing I was going to beat him. And anyway, the whole thing is moot, because Robert sealed the room until he finds a proper sub to make use of it again. He didn't want Jessie wondering in and realizing how warped he is."
Talking about him caused her to think of Robert and Sam. She wanted Robert happy, and she understood the role Sam was playing was helping him, but if he hadn't been in Europe fucking her, he'd have been here, and none of this would have happened!
She fumed for several minutes then she had a short moment of clarity. No, he went for business, and the launch, and would have been gone anyway. Getting mad at Robert, wouldn't fix this and it wasn't his fault. Bill was to blame. She would take it out on Bill.
She realized Debra was talking.
"... Toni, are you in there?"
"Sorry, just thinking over your offer."
"Is that a yes then?" Debra asked.
"Yes," Toni responded while squaring her shoulders, and hoping it wasn't obvious that her head was swimming.
"Then, let's go to my house, and you can start your revenge!" They stood, Debra half leading and half stabilizing Toni. When they opened the front door, Bill was kneeling on the porch, wearing nothing but his boxers. His hands were tied in front, he had a gag in his mouth, and had a dog's choker chain around his neck.
"See Toni, I told you I could help you. Bill, give Toni your leash."
Toni knew something just didn't add up, but her head was definitely foggy, and she found herself giggling as she took his leash.
"Bill, roll up her pants. We don't want her to get grass stains on them." Debra instructed. "That's a good boy. Now home."
Bill started towards his house, half leading Toni, and half restrained by her. When they reached the house, Debra ordered Bill downstairs.
"Toni, I made Bill pile all the furniture in the corner and put down plastic, so you can beat him and not get blood all over. How do you want him? Your choice, kneeling, all fours, strung up, laying? How would you like to exact your revenge on the man who raped you?"
"Debra, I ... I don't do this kind of thing. I can barely think. I don't know how to do this."
"Would you like me to teach you?" she asked in a whisper. "I think if you get this out of your system, we can go back to being friends. Besides, it's your duty to punish him for all the women who'll never get the opportunity to punish their attackers."
Toni looked at Bill and caught him looking her up and down. That pushed her over the line, and she drew Debra as far away from Bill as the room would allow. "Okay," she whispered back. "Tell me what to do."
"First thing, during a punishment, you have to decide what will make the bigger impression. Pain, humiliation, or both. Personally, I would go for both!"
"How do I do that?"
Debra gave Toni a look that could only be described as a malevolent smirk. "To tell you the truth, I wish I could be in your shoes right now. Bill deserves this for so many things. I'm not going to tell you why, but when you start, give it to him good for me too."
Toni, not knowing what to say, just nodded.
"First, I'd start by stringing him up, so that he's at your mercy. Is that what you want?"
"Yes."
"Bill, your victim says she wants you suspended. Do it now!" Debra placed a short stool in the center of the room and Bill stepped up onto it, then raised his hands. Toni only just then saw the mountain climbing spike that had been driven into one of the ceiling beams, it had a carabiner attached.
Bill clipped the roper restraining his wrists into the carabiner and stepped off the stool. He could only touch the floor on his tippy-toes.
Debra removed the stool, returned to Toni, and whispered her next encouragement. "Now, to help with the humiliation, you need to strip him, but first you need to choose what you'll punish him with. I bought a horsewhip, a riding crop, a flogger, and a cane, but I forgot how much space we have in here and the whip is useless. The guy at the store said the cane would hurt the most, but that if you didn't want to scar him you needed to be careful.
"I think you should show him the cane as you strip him, then give him a few whacks, and see what you think."
When Toni hesitated a second, Debra put the cane in her hand and urged her forward. "For all the other women Toni. Go on, give it a go, that's a good girl."
When Toni started back across the room, she realized her drink had really kicked in. She vaguely hoped she would remember this, as the two women walked around in front of their target. She tried to think of what Robert would say as she stood briefly thinking and tapping the cane in her palm absentmindedly.
Bill's eyes widened and he started shaking his head. Without trying, Toni had managed to look menacing.
