Grace

Oh my god.

I stare disbelieving at my reflection in the mirror and then down to the leather bracelet that I've snapped back around my wrist. That was not you, Grace. That was not your own brain having those insane fantasies and thoughts. Except it was. And, what's more, I brought myself to orgasm with those insane fantasies right after being fired. Who am I becoming?

I squirt orange liquid into my hand and scrub my face, then take a deep breath. I imagine that I am breathing all the negative self-talk, just like my therapist taught me. I need to prepare myself to face Nicole. I heard her come it about half an hour ago, but I've been too caught up freaking out over my own ridiculous behavior to even begin thinking about her, which is selfish anyway. So, I compose myself and step out of my bedroom.

Nicole is slouching on the couch with her socks up on the coffee table, channel surfing. Normally, she'd turn off the television when I entered the room, maybe even jump up and hug me, but I just get a soft, "Hey" over the blare of a cooking show.

"Hey, Nicole, can we talk?"

"Yeah," she says with surprising enthusiasm, turning off the television and sitting up. I approach her enthusiastically.

"Oh, great, 'cause I-"

"Yeah," she cuts me off, suddenly cross, "we can talk about how you not only let Brad on but then publicly destroyed him. Jesus, Grace, how fucking heartless are you?"

How can she not know that this wasn't true? Nicole's been the closest person to me for the past two years. She knows me. So surely, she knows that I would never do something like that.

"That's not what happened! Bethany-"

"Bethany let your little secret out of the bag. How could you go back to her? After everything I did to get you out!"

I would never, if my life depended on it, go back to Bethany. No matter how much she tries to convince me that I'm nothing without her. Nicole was one of the people who helped me see how manipulative and controlling Bethany really was in the first place.

"Nicole, I didn't!" I protest, "She found me somehow! Everything she said was a lie."

How did Bethany find me anyway? She mentioned someone named Sky. Why does that name sound familiar?

"Even if that's true," Nicole says suspiciously, "You still hurt Brad. That's still your fault."

"Wait," I pause, "how did you know about what happened at 85 today?"

Nicole looks down, trying to hide a deep blush. What have I stumbled upon?

"Oh," she says, fidgeting with her phone, "Brad texted me."

I look at her bewildered. I wasn't even aware that Brad and Nicole knew each other or that they'd been texting each other for who knows how long. What have they been talking about? Has it been more than talking?

"That's why you care so much about me hurting him," I accuse, "you two have been sneaking around behind my back."

"Just as friends, I swear," she defends.

"You know, I came out here to apologize, Nic, but now I feel like, after what you've done and what you've accused me of doing, I barely know you anymore."

"Yeah, I know the feeling. Like, maybe I'd be better off with a different roommate."

My heart stings with betrayal.

"Ugh, fine," I spit.

Then I turn my back on her and stomp back into my room, determined to pack and move out...as soon as a figure out where exactly I can go.

-

Dear Grace,

I am writing to thank you for your willingness and trust with Kathy and myself last night. I do hope that the experience was as positive and enjoyable for you as it was for us. Know that you are always welcome in our home and that we would very much like to share more adventures with you. Please do us the honor of joining us for dinner tonight if you are free. Plan to spend the night with us as well, if you are so inclined.

Regards,

Richard

I clutch my phone to my chest. These words may as well be a love letter drenched in perfume because I drink them in, sweet and soothing. The e-mail and the invitation both fill me with warmth. This is exactly what I needed after what has been the hardest and most confusing day I think I've ever experienced. I write him a quick note of acceptance and begin to pack my suitcase.

I carefully choose my nicest clothes, down to the cutest thongs I own, but never wear. Why I'm taking such care to plan out these borderline sexy outfits, I have no idea. I suppose I feel inclined to impress Richard and Kathy. They clearly see something special in me and I guess I just want to look like something worth calling special.

When my bag is packed, I head out the door, sweeping wordlessly past Nicole and straight to my trusty old Accord. It had been my grandmother's car before she died, and she left it to me right when I turned 16. I begrudgingly named it "Punch," because I had wanted a punch buggy. But I'd really come to love the old car, and after six years it still hadn't died.

I don't even need to follow the GPS this time to find their house, and I find myself beginning to slip my shoes off as I ring the door bell, as if arriving here is already an old habit that I've effortlessly fallen into.

Richard answers the door this time, wrapping me in an embrace. He hugs me for a long time, and I let him, feeling my hurt seem to drift out the front door behind me as I enter his home.

I follow him to the dining room and see Kathy and the lanky brunette boy I recognize as Emmett sitting at the table. I hadn't realized their son would be here, too. I awkwardly wheel my suitcase behind me before Richard picks it up and carries it out of sight.

"Sit down, Grace." Kathy smiles warmly at me, "Emmett, say hello."

"Hello, Miss Grace."

I'm certainly not used to being called Miss, but perhaps that is just the dynamic of this family: proper and perfect.

"It's nice to meet you, Emmett." I smile at him, "I heard you did a project on my University."

"You went to Elon?" his eyes go wide and suddenly his speech is rapid, "That's where I'm going to go. Did you know the collage burned down in 1923, and then it got rebuilt, and that's why they're the phoenixes?"

"I actually didn't know that," I say, but I'm impressed that he does.

He smiles, pleased with himself to have given me new information and then proceeds to shovel mashed potatoes into his mouth, broad and wide just like Kathy's.

"Help yourself," Kathy offers, reaching out to tussle Emmett's hair playfully, "I made your favorite."

I take her up on the offer, piling my plate with roasted chicken, thick mashed potatoes, and, oh my god, that bacon wrapped asparagus from the party. I take more than probably would be considered polite just as Richard walked in. He touched Kathy tenderly on the neck, and she tilts her head upward towards him. He places his lips on to hers and they savor their kiss for a moment before Richard moves to sit down.

Kathy's food is just as good as it was at the party and I eat quickly, greedily devouring the food that is so much better that anything I can cook. Richard and Kathy try to talk to Emmett about school, but he is uninterested in telling them any riveting details, insisting that everything is "fine". Then the table is mostly quiet. I'm not sure what I was expecting. After all, family dinners were never something we did when I was growing up. But I always imagined there would be more enthusiastic conversation.

Emmett begins to clear all of our dishes away.

"Sweetie, would you still like to go to the movie's tonight?" Kathy asks Emmett."

"Yes, Ma'mm" he says, politely. I've don't think I've ever seen a pre-teen so well-mannered.

"Grace and I will hold down the fort," Richard says, and they exchange smiles as if they were secrets.

-

Once Kathy and Emmett have left, I follow Richard up to the guest bedroom where my suitcase is waiting. I sit on the bed next to Richard and he puts an arm around my shoulder.

"Tell me about your day."

"Honestly?" I laugh, "It was the worst day of my life."

I tell Richard the details, all about Bethany and what she did, losing my job, the misunderstanding with Nicole and how I don't even know if we're roommates anymore. He keeps his arm around me through my entire, misty-eyed speech and, when I'm finished, wraps me in a big, genuine hug.

"Grace, you can stay here as long as you want. I will help you find a new place but until then, our home is open to you."

I pull back and stare up at him, his kind eyes shining on me.

"No, I couldn't." I tuck my arms under my legs.

"Don't be stubborn. You need friends and we are here for you."

I feel my eyes welling with tears again. My hand reached up to grace the dark stubble of his face and comes to rest on his jawline. He is offering me more than I would have dreamed for when I need it most. My heart soars with gratitude. I lean towards him and, in a fast moment, I've fallen into him and our lips are pressed together. His hand finds the back of my head and holds me, near and safe. Our lips part and then collide again, this time with an urgency, a deep need to put myself as close to him as I can. And then I remember.

"Kathy," I blurt, falling back and jerking way, "You're married. I...Jesus, I'm so sorry."

"No, Grace, No. It's okay. Kathy and I are in an open relationship. I'm sorry, I thought that was clear."

Of course. I mean, I'd been naked and bound before them and that had seemed okay but somehow kissing Richard while Kathy was away with their son seemed wrong. I didn't like feeling like I was sneaking around behind anyone's back.

"I see I've worried you," Richard says. "I promise that we have Kathy's consent and blessing but, if you like, we can refrain from kissing until you talk to her yourself."

I nod. "Thank you"

"Of course."

"No, I mean thank you for offering to let me stay here. I...I accept."