CHAPTER ONE - Claire steps out
It was not something she could put her finger on. The what or the when. Gradually girls seemed to turn away from her. Invites dried up. No more shopping with her besties. No more whispers of friends and illicit liaisons.
In fact Claire now got the feeling that she had actually become... the, focus of the gossip. It hurt, but she would not let it get her down. She shrugged & got on with life. Unknowingly at first, she substituted boys affection for girls company. Blond locks blue eyes, what she thought was a perfect body. She found herself out every night. Different guys, some in love, some not. Before she left school, she was a legend. The rumours grew, wild exaggeration of her exploits became the norm.
She succeeded in her first job interview. Within a fortnight she had been to bed with a co-worker & spent a night away with her boss on a business trip. Two weeks later these two were rumoured to have had a vicious fight.. The co-worker left soon afterwards, his position untenable. Claire felt sad. He had been kind, funny & supportive.
The bosses wife started to turn up occasionally, Claire felt the icy glances. Although the boss cooled towards her, others flocked, flirting, trying to stumble upon her in quiet areas of the building.
Outside work there were plenty of random invitations. At the bus stop in the supermarket. A salvation army band played in the town's central Square. She happened to stop, watching families & couples, as they listened to carols.
"Hello. I love Christmas, don't you?" Tall, good looking & a decent tan for the time of year. Her type. After minimal small talk, she found herself on a settee in front of a huge TV in his flat. His love making adequate but not spectacular. Late home, she took the usual barrage from worried parents. She could feel their patience wearing thin, her mother had been picking up gossip. She went straight up to bed thinking, at the age of 18, it was none of their business where she had been. Her head hit the pillow, a little mad, a little sad.
Over the next few days she spent her evenings at Phillips flat. Everything about him seemed to be adequate if unspectacular. He was a shopfitter, decent money. He had recently built a set for a photographer,
"I got to know him quite well, you should try some modelling." He suggested. She had heard this so often. She knew she didn't have the height for fashion. Anyway to get anywhere a portfolio was required, which cost an arm & a leg.
Phillip could be persuasive. The premises were just around the corner in the high street. So the following Saturday morning he led her by the hand across its threshold.
"My name is Bernard." Said the photographer. He was exactly how she imagined. His handshake, weak & clammy. A pot belly & bald head.
"Step on the set." He ushered her to an area which had clearly been set up for portraits. She wore a short black dress which clung to her slim body, emphasising her breasts. He got plenty of full length shots then moved closer to her face.
"Wow, photogenic ain't the word babe." A gruff cockney accent.
"But we can't relax here. Why don't you come round to mine?... Tomorrow afternoon. Phil's got the address."
"I was wondering about a portfolio." She felt like she was being pushed.
"Well, we can discuss that. This business is a bit...You know, scratch my back & I'll scratch back."
A small boy entered followed by his mum.
"Be just a moment." Said Bernard. Then to Phillip, "Shall we say 2 30?"
Phillip returned the suggestion with a nod. He took her to a pub where they spent the rest of the afternoon. When Claire finally arrived home, she was very drunk & had to be reminded of the conversation which had taken place, by her parents at breakfast, next morning.
"Look, this is a break for you." Phillip tried a motivational speech as they sat in the car outside Bernards. "You remember what he said about back scratching? Well think about it. This guy's a pro with tons of connections, he can really help"
"But you'll be there too?" She said doubtfully, having suspicions about what had been suggested.
Bernard greeted them jovially, to Claires surprise they sat down to tea. The large cottage could be described as elegant, picturesque even. Through the window of a typical English sitting room a large garden could be seen. They talked convivially of holidays & favourite cars. At the conclusion of tea, Bernard ushered Claire into a small messy office. "I would like you to study the magazines & portfolios."
He pointed to piles of colourful journals on a large desk. "When you feel ready, come back to the sitting room, we'll chat."
She had seen porn before, but this surprised her. The girls weren't just opening their legs or screwing another girl or boy. There were canings, gang bangs, weird objects, slavery. Some of this excited her. Some of it scared her. But even before she left school, she had felt herself being drawn towards...what? The unknown, something she could only describe as the sexual dark side.
Two pairs of eyes stared as she self-consciously returned to the sitting room.
"So my dear...You have just seen an area of the industry in which you could earn a fortune. I could make you a top performer, sought after around the world. Do you think you could perform?"
Bernards words hung in the air. She had so many questions, so many ifs & buts.
"We won't just crash land you in the heavier stuff, my dear. We will break you in gently."
"How would I know what to do?" Her words were music to Bernards ears.
"Love, all you have to do is turn up, others will do the rest." She looked at Phillip, he shrugged.
"Now pop your clothes off, let's see what we have to work with." Bernard got down to business, Claire found herself mechanically acquiescing.
"Everything!" He directed, & after she had complied, "Now hands down at your sides." His camera whizzed & she twirled, proud of her body, but apprehensive.
He brought a pair of stockings & stilettos. "Put these on." He commanded, making his way to French windows. Phillip helped her totter through them into the damp garden. A cold wind chased leaves across the grass. Bernard fired away with his camera long before she readied herself. The garden, large & beautiful, sloped down to the river where a small boat had been attached to a mooring.