She'd done it. She'd left her husband and her old life far behind, miles beneath on the ground. She soared through the skies, heading west, into the sun, feeling weightless and exhilarated, with that scary trembling in her gut that told her things were changing rapidly, perhaps too rapidly.
As the plane broke through the low, gray clouds, the orange sun blazed into her eyes and she looked down in child-like wonder, still fascinated by the roiling swell of clouds beneath her, though she'd seen it a dozen times before.
This time was different. She's flown alone before, on a visit to a man in a far off state. Her husband had known however, and approved, or at least not minded over much. By then relations between them were more negative than positive and she was in dire need of reassurance that she was still worth something in someone's eyes. She still had confidence in her intelligence and abilities - these things had never been questioned - but her confidence in herself as a sexual being had been slowly eroding over the past several months.
Their already dismal sex life had slowed to less than a trickle as her husband found more and newer outlets for his lust. It angered her more than she could safely express. She'd married him with the expectation that he was 'the one' for her and she 'the one' for him, with the belief that they would be faithful and loving always, and with no desire in her heart for anyone but him. In the few months preceding she felt like she'd been eviscerated. Everything she had known and believed was suddenly meaningless and the one person she had thought she could rely on to love her completely had turned on her when her desires didn't match his. She had taken that flight south to be with a man who perhaps didn't completely understand her, but who at least desired her and her kind and wanted to give her lovely memories. He'd certainly done that.
She'd had a similar feeling in her gut as the plane took off that time as well, but this time it was different in every possible way. This time she was in love with the man she was going to, not just casually in lust with a friend. This time she had no intention of returning. And her soon-to-be-ex knew that too.
She'd hugged him goodbye in that way reserved for maiden aunts and overly familiar uncles, feeling his thin, muscular body press stiffly into her soft, yielding flesh, feeling the hard plane of his chest crushing her round, sensitive breasts, the sharp collarbone against her cheek. She'd sighed in her own kind of relief, closing her eyes and seeing the face of her beloved, knowing that she would soon be with him, in his arms, in his bed, on her knees before him or tied andβ¦. She shook off the lovely image before it had fully formed, wanting to save it for the solitude of the flight. She smiled though, knowing that she wouldn't have to explain the dazed expressions on her face or be snapped back into reality as she imagined a particularly titillating scene. She wouldn't have to hide her joy at the sound of his name or her lust at the thought of his mouth on her, his whisper in her ear. She would be with her lover and Master and her world would at last feel complete.
She'd stood back and nodded slightly, picked up her bag, then stepped into the taxi and closed the door. She'd tried to forget he'd ever existed. It was too painful, otherwise, and she'd hoped he was doing the same, although they would still travel in the same circles and most of their friendships were mutual. But for now she wanted to be alone. She'd gazed at her naked ring finger all the way to the airport.
***
Her chilled fingers closed around the plastic cup and she drank the hot coffee the flight attendant gave her, her gaze never leaving the shifting clouds beneath her till the city was in view and the pressure made her ears pop. She shuffled off the plane and entered a bright, gaudy airport waiting for her connecting flight, watching the little dramas of meetings and leavings all around her, observing the joys and sadnesses of a hundred strangers, listening to the cries of tired babies, the mumbling of harried travelers, inhaling the scents of perfume and fast food and liquored breath and stale air, answering questions of the customs agents as her bags were checked and tagged and sent on their way.
She sat cross-legged, exposing too much of her thigh and not caring as old men ogled her, not noticing the younger men either, with their bold stares and lascivious suggestions. Her mind was elsewhere, hovering in that sweet, blissful place where all things were possible and all dreams fulfilled. In that place she was already with her lover, already lying helpless, feeling his fingers stroke her skin and his mouth consume her with the most tenderly controlled passion she'd ever felt. In that place, the only sounds were their breath and her longing, sighing moans as he teased her closer and closer to bliss and stopped short yet again only to grin at her beseeching face and leave her hovering there for a moment before finding some other sweet torment for her to endure. Her vacant expression and flushing face drew odd looks from the shuffling hoards of travelers, but she didn't even notice.
She came to only as her flight was called, got to her feet and walked in a daze to the next plane, sitting in a languid, lustful haze as it taxied and the engines gunned and she left the earth once more.
This time the sun was a thin band of red on the horizon, and above the clouds were a glowing yellow-green-pink-blue haze against the backdrop of a midnight sky. She watched the stars appear, wishing on the first one, then closed her eyes and fell gradually asleep, her hand moving surreptitiously in her lap under her coat, soothing her, and giving her new sparks of feeling in her belly as she thought of him.