Giving Way Choice - Paul Waited

Trying to control his breathing. Paul knew it was perhaps the stupidest thing he had done. No, wrong, it was definitely the stupidest and most dangerous thing he had done. Not gay, not bi, so why did he do this. Why had he provided a complete stranger, obviously with sexual intentions, his home address. Why explain to a stranger, well someone who he chatted to for an hour, that he wanted no choice.

He had made a choice. He knew it. He had made a choice to go onto the gay dating app. He had made a choice to respond to the chat icon from "Professional and Dom". He had made a choice to send pictures. He had made a choice to do as he said, stripping, laying face down on his bed, unlocking the front door. Yes there was not force or fear there. It was all him.

Lying naked, his cock erect, his breathing shallow and fast, he wondered if this was going to happen. He wondered if "Professional and Dom", or Mark as he had learned, was real or another fake. He knew from the app that Mark, or Sir, was only a kilometre away. He knew all these things and he knew he was not bisexual or homosexual.

If he knew all of these things. Why was he stripped naked laying face down for a stranger to enter his flat. He heard the door open. Mark was obviously nervous, Paul realised, as he called out, "Paul, if you want me to go you had better say now. If anyone else is here I have been invited". It was said loudly, but not with full confidence, until he heard the bedroom door open and the tone changed. "Paul, Paul, Paul. Well done. This is going to be fun".

Two hours later, Mark had gone, Paul was still crying. It had gone exactly as they had discussed on the app. Paul had not wanted a choice. He had wanted it all to be taken. It had been taken. HIs hair shaved, beard shaved, pubic hair shaved. That had been the start. Mark had stayed clothed that whole time. Paul, mute and passive, not questioning any direction or command from Mark.

Mark had insisted that to really be humiliated. To really have no choice. Paul had to masturbate and ejaculate before Mark would sexually touch him. Mark wanted to know, he had explained, that it was not horniness driving Paul's behaviour. Something deeper, something he needed to experience, something beyond arousal, a shame, a punishment, a debasement that arousal could not shield or protect Paul from. It had to be all Paul.

He lay on the bed. Masturbating. Mark watched him in silence. Paul knew that when he came he was to feed himself his own sperm. Only then, with no drive in his balls, his own sperm inside his stomach would Mark begin. That had been the discussion. Shaved, not aroused, humiliated by his own sperm would Mark assume Paul was serious.

The wetness came too easy. It was not much, Paul had played earlier, but it was enough and in silence he scooped his cum off his stomach and fed himself his own sperm.

Mark nodded, telling Paul to turn face down, it had been agreed there would be no choice. Paul had said he did not want to be fucked but Mark had argued that it was not his choice and the only way to prove Paul had no choice was for Mark to fuck him.

The fucking.

There was no arousal. It was forced. Paul had locked himself in his own head. The pain of an erect penis, even done slowly, was severe when forced into his anus. The fucking, again starting slowly, with him not remotely aroused was simply degradation. Then the fucking became even more real. Mark had got into the movement. The thrusts deeper, the body impact full, and Paul had literally been pounded into his own bed. The tears, wetting the sheets underneath him, as he knew he really did not want this. But, locked inside his own head, he let himself lay there being quite brutally fucked. The pain, the shame, not allowing him to hide too deeply in himself. He cried.

Mark finished with his body, his bottom would never be the same, Paul knew that still he did not want to move. Mark had been clear to drive home the humiliation that was not the end of it.

What left Paul still crying, an hour after Mark left, was the pain, of course, but more than that it was the shame. He was no longer a man. The video taken. Mark left with promises of more to come.