Geena's Life

Carl was my first long term lover. I met Carl in my freshman year of Nursing School when I was 18 and Carl was 19.

I don't know that I was ever really in love with Carl, but I did love him in a special way. We were the best of friends and I trusted him enough to know he would never hurt me- emotionally or physically. Through him I discovered a lot about myself and He will always be special for that reason.

Carl and I dated for three years and so we had a lot of opportunity to experiment sexually. This was all new for me and I enjoyed the exploration. He was imaginative and loved to role play. I found I was able to put myself in many roles, though some I enjoyed more than others. I discovered I loved to be restrained during sex and to be forcefully taken. We experimented with light spanking which I also found erotic. Early on, this light BDSM was really just a part of our sexual adventures, but I found them to be intoxicating.

Submission, as a role play, is something that happened apart from our sexual life though. To my surprise, it was also something that I was surprised to discover happened at my prodding.

One day after we got into a fight, I approached him to apologize. As is often the case, it was a silly thing we had had an argument over. Unfortunately we left it unresolved overnight. I hate that feeling, when there is something unresolved between two people who care about each other: That cloud that exists, that drains you emotionally until the issue is resolved.

I don't even think I was wrong, but I was truly sorry that I let the argument get to the point of upsetting him so. I told him I was sorry that I had gotten him so upset. He kind of muttered something about accepting my apology, but I knew he was still angry, that he didn't really let it go.

Like many men, he had kind of a childish way of not really being able to accept an apology and moving on. It had been a day or so and I had been through the issue emotionally and was ready to move on. He just sat on his bed and pouted.

I can't really recall what was going on in my mind at the time, but I walked into his closet and pulled out the paddle we used during our sexual adventures. I walked over to Carl, faced turned down and handed it to him.

"I'm really really sorry," I said.

He just sat there looking at me for a minute. He didn't look angry, but he didn't know quite what to make of it.

I turned around and walked over to the desk. I couldn't hear him move but I imagined he still had that look of uncertainty on him. I unbuckled my belt and unbuttoned my jeans, then pushed the jeans and panties down to my ankles. I stood back up and bent over on the desk, supporting my upper body with my arms.

Nothing happened for a minute or so, and I suddenly feared that I had blown it. Maybe he thought I was a freak or something. The longer he waited the more foolish I felt. It would be really awkward to have to pull up my clothes and face him again.

Finally I heard him get up from the bed and walk over to me.

"What are you sorry about, Linda," he spoke rather sternly.

At first I though he didn't get it. Was he trying to start the argument again? That had happened before with him and with others and I always hated it. Just when you think the argument is winding down, they try to jump start it.

"That I have displeased you Carl."

It was my attempt to fold. I wanted to give him the power in the situation- for him to take control.

"And you want me to punish you?" He continued.

Was he being sarcastic? I couldn't be sure. Was he being condescending or maybe he was a little incredulous. In my position, I could see the expression on his face. I just took a chance.

"Yes."

"Then tell me," he commanded.

Excitement was starting to build up in me. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I knew it was what I wanted. He was quiet and hurt, and I was the one who hurt him. Certainly he should punish me for that.

"Carl, I am sorry that I upset you and I want you to punish me." It came out naturally, very sincere- and it was.

'Smack!' He didn't wait long after my answer and I cried out in surprise.

'Smack!' Another strike, a little harder I thought. It was painful and pleasurable at the same time.

He kept on spanking me and with the sting of each blow, I let out a cry. Not sure if I was supposed to keep quiet, or count, or exactly what I was supposed to be doing, I just whimpered like a little girl.

Thoughts were running through my mind, interrupted by sharp blows to my behind. I deserved this punishment and it was making me better. I was embarrassed by the feeling of submitting so completely to one my own age. But somehow I liked this feeling.

My ass was burning and my mind was racing. I know I was crying louder than I should. Finally it was over- at least there was a long pause.

I heard Carl walk away and apparently climb onto his bed. He said nothing and the room was mostly silent.

I realized I must have looked silly still in my position: Whimpering like a baby, standing over his desk, stripped from the waist down. I waited for instructions.

"Are you OK?" Carl asked.

I stood up, not sure if that was the thing to do. I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Yes, Thank-you."

I am not sure why I said that, but I didn't know what else to say. It was an awkward moment for two teenagers I guess. This wasn't really one of our role plays, it meant a lot more. So I waited.

"Leave your pants there and go stand in the corner." Carl commanded.

I stood there for a second or two, pants around my ankles still facing away from my boyfriend. I considered what to do next. I had thought this was over. I got my spanking, and though it was very painful, I had somehow enjoyed it. Certainly this little diversion was over now. At the same time, I felt like that little girl again. Strict Obedience was expected.

"Linda, go over to the corner."

My head was pointing down, still not sure if I should comply, until I felt myself slowly moving to the corner. As I moved I let my sandals slip off my feet and pulled my legs out of the pile that was my clothes. I was no longer crying, but my cheeks were still wet. I left my jeans and panties behind and took my place in the corner, placing my forehead against the wall.

Did I feel silly, or was this a more natural thing for me. I can't really recall all the thoughts in my head on that day, but I know that I complied freely with his instructions.

The silence was broken by the sound of Carl's TV. I could hear him flicking through the channels until he settled on some sort of sports- baseball I think.

That was it I guessed. He decided to further humiliate me by leaving me standing in the corner of his dorm room, stripped to the waist, and simply go about his business.

His dorm room. Suddenly it hit me that we were in his dorm. He had a private room, but dorms were not really all that private, and I was sitting here pretty well exposed. How embarrassing that would be if one of our friends walked in the room. Would he let them come in? Would he leave me standing there?

None of those things happened that day, but the thought of them left me standing uncomfortable for what I think was thirty minutes or so. That made the whole thing all the more exciting for me.

Carl and I did not really fall into a D/s relationship, but we did repeat similar events on occasion. I think for him it was really still role playing, although we inserted real life drama into the situations. He probably never understood the depths of control he could have exerted over me had he chosen to do so. It would take a special person and many more experiences until I would find someone who could.

My relationship with Carl lasted for three years and during that time we got more and more adventuresome in our sexual role playing. My favorite roles were submissive of course, but we played many. Carl seemed to enjoy them all.

I tried my turn at being a Top, and was apparently pretty good at it. It could be a fun diversion, but not a lifestyle for me: I preferred being the sub. The scenes were just sexual play, like the cop pulling over the young coed: It was fun, but it was still just a game.

My fantasy had always been one of complete control. I always imagined completely submitting to the will of another over my own free will. I guess that was my fantasy. It didn't even have to involve sex. Actually most of the fantasies didn't really involve sex, but I did find them erotic. I am not sure if that makes sense, but the two have always been separate, but still related somehow.

The most memorable event I had with Carl occurred on a weekend during my junior year at Vermont College and Carl and I decided to spend two days up in Killington Vermont. We are both green trail skiers, but we just like the idea of a romantic time together in a snowed-in lodge up in the mountains. Carl made it extra special by announcing that I would be his submissive for the entire weekend. I was excited about the prospect.

Carl picked me up on Friday afternoon at my dorm room and I was excited to begin our weekend of fun. My roommate Cindy was in on our plans and excited for me as well. She was helping me pack as Carl banged on the door.

"So when do we begin?" I asked him when he entered the room.

Carl was standing in the doorway, with what looked like an empty gym bag in hand. He looked over at my suitcase, backpack, and ski gear, then back to me.

"We have already begun, but you are not yet packed for the trip," He replied.

"I have everything right here," I answered, pointing at the gear I had all ready to go. I could see the interest in Cindy's eyes. She thought it was a little perv, but kind of interesting.

"I don't think so. First of all, you have way too many clothes". Carl picked up my suitcase as heaved it up on the bed, opened it, and just shook his head.

"Take off your clothes," He commanded.

I was anxious to get on the road and not sure, I wanted to begin with this diversion. Cindy had seen me naked before, but I didn't particularly want to put on a show for her. Still, I complied, assuming Cindy would excuse herself. She didn't.

I stripped down to bra and panties, but Carl stood waiting for me to finish. Reluctantly, I completed the job and soon stood naked wondering what was next.

"Drink this before we leave, you will need it," He instructed.

I grabbed the pint size bottle of Seven-Up and took a small sip. It was mostly soda, but just a bit of Gin I think.

"We have plenty of time, but at that rate we won't get to Killington until after lunch," He said with a little chuckle.

I wanted to object, but felt a silly enough just standing there naked with the two of them watching me. I took several more gulps while Cindy and Carl began a conversation about nothing in particular. Every once in a while they would prod me along, but then go back to their conversation. Finally I had completed my task.

"Put on your ski outfit" he commanded, no shoes or socks, but everything else.

With relief, I quickly got dressed.

"Goggles, hat, come on, we don't have all day," He continued.

He walked back over to the open suitcase on the bed, without waiting for me to complete the task. Soon he was rifling through my suitcase and selecting a few items and throwing them in the empty bag he still held grasped in His hand. I noticed He wasn't saving many things: Lingerie, a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a few other odds and ends. He tossed my shower clogs over to me and motioned for me to put them on. I heard Cindy giggle in the background. The two of them were selecting my clothes for the weekend and apparently enjoying themselves. Carl finally closed the suitcase and put in on the floor beside the bed.

"You won't need any of this," He declared, motioning to the door, "Time to go."

Well, as sure as I was that I looked pretty silly, this was confirmed by the look on Cindy's face as I led Carl out the door. It gets pretty cold in February in Vermont and I could feel the chill on my feet as we exited the dorm and made our way down the walk to Carl's truck. There was a little slush on the sidewalk, which was now making its way between my feet and my shower clogs. Fortunately Carl was parked nearby.

The trip to Killington would take a good hour and a half and I was glad to get on the road. Carl took off his jacket and turned up the heat while I stretched my feet forward to warm them on the vent under the dash. I was pretty quiet as we left the College Campus and Drove through town. Montpelier is kind of a quaint little town, and I loved it, but it was always nice to get away.

It took only a few minutes to get to the highway, but the truck was already becoming quite warm by the time we reached the highway. Carl bypassed the 89 South sign and kept on traveling. Apparently he decided to take the back road- a longer and less comfortable trip.

Carl handed me a flask. I was obviously not very thirsty, but it was not a gesture of politeness, he wanted me to drink it. I already felt a little buzz from before, but was shocked at the taste of the drink I was now offered. It was Gin and tonic again, but much stronger.

"It's a little hot in here," I said quietly.

"I'm pretty comfortable," Carl replied. "But feel fee to take off your ski suit." He continued with a slight smirk.

"Can I just open it or at least take off this hat and goggles?" I asked.

"No, I don't think so, it's an all or nothing- and finish the drink."

I chose to remain clothed. Carl had an old truck, but it could kick up some heat. He had driven 20 minutes to get to Vermont College so the truck had really already been warmed up by the time he arrived. By the time we reached Northfield, I was already beginning to perspire in my suit and realized I also had to pee.

The road was winding and bumpy and we still had a long way to go. I can usually hold it a long time, but was already beginning to feel pressure on my bladder. That combined with the heat was making me very uncomfortable.

It was beginning to snow as we made our way along route 12, but the wet snow melted as soon as it hit the warm windows. My goggles were fogged up and water was beginning to accumulate from the sweat on my face. I was beginning to get drunk and I knew I wouldn't make it to the lodge.

"Carl, I have to Pee" I pleaded, hoping we could stop at Carl's campus

"You can hold it, only an hour or so now."

We continue on, and I did manage to hold- all the way through Randolph, our last opportunity before we really got in the back woods. Finally, I decided I could wait no longer. "Carl, I'm serious, I can't hold it any longer."

"Fine with me, I'll find a place to stop."

About ten minutes later, Carl pulled off to a side road and into the woods. He stopped the truck and turned to me.

"We can stop, but you will have to be punished for making us late," He said.

"Yes, anything, just please let me go."

"You will need to take off your ski suit, but you can go out there with your shower clogs on."

I was in no position to argue and frantically undid my suit and pulled it off. It was awkward getting the suit off inside the cab of his truck. My skin was wet with perspiration, but it felt great to get it off. I slipped my clogs back on and grabbed the handle and pushed open the door.

I ran around to the front of the truck, figuring that would be the warmest place and might provide me with t a little privacy. The cold blast of air was worse than expected and I knew I couldn't last long outside this way. When I arrived to my chosen location, Carl was standing there ogling me with a look of anticipation on his face.

At this point, I didn't care, let him get his jollies. I squatted down and released. Despite the cold snow falling on my upper back, it felt wonderful. I looked at Carl and for the first time felt some embarrassment at my predicament. I didn't care that much. I stood up and started to turn back to the truck.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Carl asked.

"Carl, I'm getting cold." I stood knees together arms across my chest and hunched over just a bit.

"Then let's get on with it." He took off his gloves and handed them to me.

"No sense in getting frost bite now hands on the bumper and let's get started."

I turned around and bent over to reach the bumper. I could feel the snow on my back and was shivering, by the time of the first blow. My ass was cold, but quickly warmed under the assault of his bare hand. He continued for a while and it was no longer a fun diversion. I was crying when he finally stopped. Carl said nothing, but just walked away and got back in the truck.

I took this as a signal and quickly climbed back in the passenger side. Carl had turned on the truck and the heat felt good. I struggled in my haste to get the suit back on, but finally managed as he was backing up back onto the main road.

I was sat whimpering staring out the window. My rear end was very sore and I squirmed trying to find a comfortable position. Carl struck up a conversation as though nothing at all had just happened. It seemed the longest part of the trip and I discovered I had lost the buzz from the alcohol.

We arrived just before lunch and checked in. For a few minutes it seemed we were just a couple again and he was very polite. Once we checked in Carl declined help with our bags, but instead motion for me to carry them. We got a few strange looks, but I didn't really care.

I managed Carl's suitcase and my bag and was glad to be in the room.

"We are going to hit the slopes in a few minutes, but first I want to fuck." Carl announced.

"O.K.," was all I could manage, a little surprised by his choice of words.

"O.K., what is that?"

"Yes Master," I replied, giving him what I thought he was looking for.

"Take off you clothes and put my things away, then get on the bed," He commanded.

"Yes Master" I wasn't real sure about this anymore. I was a little emotionally drained from the ride up and wished, a little bit, that we had opted for a more romantic weekend. Still I stripped down and began putting the clothes away in silence. Carl just sat on the chair and watched. When I was done, I climbed up on the bed and lay on my side facing Carl.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" Carl asked.

I rolled and sat up. "Yes Master," I meekly replied. I was holding back tears, but I wasn't sure why.

"Then tell me," Carl said, raising his voice a little.

"I want you to fuck me Master."

Carl stood up and walked over to the bed. He held several scarves in his hand and I realized He intended to restrain me to the bed. I lay back down and reached my arms up over my head. He tied one arm to each head post and commanded me to spread my legs. I did as I was told and soon was tied spread eagle on the bed. Carl left the room and returned from the bathroom a few minutes later with a towel, comb, scissors, razor and shaving crème. He slid the towel under my still sore ass and I realized he intended to shave my pubic hair.

I had never shaved all my hair down there before and somehow the fact that he intended to force something so personal upon me, was a little exciting. He first combed my pubic hair and began trimming off the largest portion. From my position, I couldn't watch, but I could feel the gentle sprinkle of hair fall on me as he cut it off.

Carl once more left for the bathroom and returned with a wet face cloth. He places it over my pussy and I discovered with delight that it was very warm. He left it there and went to retrieve some hot water in a glass. It was a glorious feeling to be lathered up and shaved down there by another person.

When Carl completed his task he set aside his instruments and got undressed. I was not surprised that he was already very hard and I was ready for him to take me.