(CW: rape role play)
About two years ago, Francesca confessed to her Master that she really wanted to experience a night of consensual non-consent with a group of men.
It had been a fantasy of hers for a long time, but one that was frightening to admit to. She didn't want to be judged on her desires, but also, the thought of going through with it in reality -- instead of just in her imagination -- was scary and exciting in the same measure.
Having heard what she wanted, Master frowned. 'You want to be violated?' he asked.
'Not for real,' she said. 'Of course, I don't want to be violated for real. No woman wants that. A fantasy about CNC is about pretend aggression, all in the service of my pleasure. A real-life rape has nothing to do with sex, it's just about power. So, if you're asking me if I want to actually get violated, of course I don't. But I'd love to experience being ravished and taken without any concern for my consent, where in fact I've already given it, in advance.'
Master didn't look convinced. 'And you want me to arrange this?'
'Sir, if anyone could organise something like this so that it's fun and safe, it would be you.'
He shook his head. 'You make it sound easy. Where will I find a group of men willing to do this, all of them clean and tested, and who can be trusted to look after you? There's a reason why CNC is mostly a fantasy.'
They talked about this a little bit more, and Francesca suggested a few options -- some old friends he used to hang out with in another city, or maybe some kind of football club, or perhaps they should try to advertise for some hunky volunteers. But Master rejected all her suggestions, saying that it was too difficult or too complicated or too risky. Eventually she gave up. She was disappointed, of course, but she knew when to stop pushing. She trusted him. If he was saying that it was impossible, then it was impossible. She put it out of her head and life went on as normal.
About six months later, one Sunday, Francesca was in the middle of her daily workout when there was an altercation on the gym floor in front of her. It was around mid-day and it had been raining all morning, so the gym was quiet, only a few men dotted around on various pieces of equipment. Francesca had finished her cardio and was just getting started in the weights area when she noticed two men, some twenty yards away and in her line of sight, start to exchange words in raised voices. At first, she thought they were taunting each other in that way men do when they're good friends but pretend to be arguing. One of them had his back turned to her, but the other's face was taking on a more frantic, angry look by the minute. He suddenly pushed the first man in the chest and sent him flying towards a weights rack in front of a long mirror. Then he grabbed a small dumbbell and threw it at the other man, catching him on the shoulder.
Shocked, Francesca looked around to see if anyone else was watching this. Was anyone coming to help? Eventually, the reception staff overheard the noise and ran over to break up the fight. The two men calmed down quickly, and left the gym at the same time, in a way that now looked almost friendly. Men are strange, thought Francesca, who'd never seen such a quick switch from fighting to normality.
One of the personal trainers who manned the reception came over to her and asked her for a statement.
'I didn't really see that much,' Francesca said, embarrassed by the suggestion that she may have been staring at the fight, although that was exactly what had happened.
'Yes, but did you see who started the fight? Or which one of the two guys was more aggressive?'
She thought about it. 'The one in the red t-shirt,' she said eventually, 'threw a dumbbell at the other guy.'
The personal trainer thanked her and said that he'd pass her details to the manager and to the police, if needed, but in the weeks to come she never heard anything more about it.
Then, one Saturday evening, Master cancelled a planned visit to Francesca's because he wasn't feeling well. 'I'm sorry, princess,' he said, 'but I don't want to cough all over your lovely face every time I try to kiss you. I hope you can use this evening for some nice self-care time. Why don't you go to the gym? It'll be really quiet,' he said.
Francesca didn't need much of a nudge. Gym was one of her favourite places in the world and she loved not just the gym floor with all its high-tech machines -- elliptical trainers, vibration plates, Peloton bikes -- but also the citrus-smelling steam room and sauna and the ozone-treated swimming pool warmed to 30 degrees.
She arrived at the gym just before nine pm, with an hour to go 'till closing time. It was almost empty, with not a soul on any of the cardio machines, although she could hear male voices in the free weights area which was down some steps, on a lower level.
She ran a five-miler, beating her previous time by a minute. After some stretching, she decided to finish the workout with a quick circuit using free weights and bars available on the lower level, where the voices were coming from. It seemed to her she'd never seen the gym so empty. There wasn't even anyone on reception. It felt eerie and for a moment she hesitated whether to go towards the voices, but she told herself not to be silly: this was her gym, her favourite place. What was there to feel nervous about?
She spotted him as soon as she walked down the stairs leading to the free weights area. He was wearing the same red t-shirt as on the day he'd thrown a dumbbell at another member. He was tall and broad, with the build of someone who spends a lot of time training, a flat stomach and impressive biceps bulging underneath the short sleeves of his top.
He, too, noticed Francesca, and said something to the man who stood next to him, holding a kettlebell.
Francesca could see that they were talking about her, but she ignored them. Everywhere she went men noticed her. This wasn't news, although she did start to feel conscious that she seemed to be the only woman in the gym, and that there were at least seven or eight men around her now, giving her sideways looks as she bent over the weights rack, selecting the dumbbells she needed for her workout.
Then the man in the red t-shirt approached her. Francesca could see him in the mirror as he took a slow, leisurely step towards her, his body language relaxed and seemingly disinterested. But she noticed his eyes and they were fixated on her face. She looked away, trying to focus on her exercise.
'Hey,' the man said, once he stood parallel to her, meeting her eyes in the wall-length mirror. 'I know you from somewhere?'
Francesca shook her head. 'I don't think so,' she said.